May 232013
 

Do you know what my kids hear from me all the time?

Get the dog back in the house and take that underwear off him right now!

and then there’s:

Who pooped and didn’t flush?!

and the all too common:

Butt cheeks never go on windows!

But they also a hear:

Share with your brother!

Share with your sister!

Share with your friends!

Share!

Share!

Share!

My 5yr old and 7yr old need a little less reminding than my 3yr old, but it’s something I probably have to bring up approximately 446 times a day between the three of them.

The act of sharing is generally a tough sell though, particularly for little kids, and I can’t say I blame them.  I mean, who really likes sharing?

The real difficulty for my kids has never been sharing when prompted by an adult, it’s been for the kids to want to share on their own accord.

So when my 3yr old, who needs the most encouragement to share, does so on her own, and shares something that she really loves, I have to accept it no matter what it looks like to, or rather, on me.

As we checked out of the grocery store today, our cashier handed Cecilia two sheets of stickers for being such a great helper in the check out line.  She loves stickers of any kind, but she looks at these stickers that she gets every time she accompanies me to the store, as a major award for being the best helper ever.  She cherishes these stickers, which come in one of three varieties, and has them in coloring books, on her bedroom door, and various places around the house.

After humbling accepting the awards and thanking our cashier, she promptly began peeling two of the stickers off the paper, one rollerblading cookie and one skateboarding pizza, and she whispered my name while motioning for me to bend over as if to hear a secret.

I finished punching my pin number in, bent over, and was met with two stickers being placed on my chest. “I love you, Mom, and I’m going to share my stickers with you.”

The cashier gave an “awwww!” and as I stood back up, she quickly covered her mouth with her hand to help stifle a laugh not wanting to hurt her feelings I assumed.

I thanked my daughter for sharing her stickers, told her I loved her too, and proudly stood with two stickers, one in the center of each breast like *awkward pasties, and took my receipt from the cashier with pride.

The cashier nodded in approval, and I left the store and walked to the car with my held held high…

I’m the proud parent of a toddler who shares.

proud parent toddler who shares

*I had to Google nipple pastie to see if it was spelled pasty or pastie, and even more awkward than my rollerblading cookie and skateboarding pizza pasties was that Google’s first suggested search result was Nipple Pasties at Walmart.  I wonder if they price match those?

So do your kids share?  Have they ever shared anything you’d wished they hadn’t?  Leave me a comment and let me know! (And now you can leave a comment through WordPress as usual, or you can also leave a message through Facebook. Whatever is easier for you – I’d love to hear from you, hopefully this makes it easier!)

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Check it

 Posted by at 9:36 pm  Uncategorized
May 212013
 

get an annual skin check

Did you know that May is National Skin Cancer Awareness month?

Well, me neither, but I recently read a post over at The Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms about preventing skin cancer which reminded me that I’ve had “Schedule Skin Check at the Dermatologist” on my official To Do List for the last, oh, five years or so.

If there’s one thing that a freckly, pasty, aging, former tanning booth user like myself should be doing, it’s getting skin checks every year by a professional…and not just with a magnifying glass I took from my kid’s toy box like I’ve been doing in lieu of an actual medical examination.

Skin cancers are on the rise, but for the most part they are easily treated when caught early.  So what have I been waiting for?

It’s just like the time I put off getting that colonoscopy (for four years).   That ended up being far less crappy than I had envisioned, and truthfully, the skin check was a walk in the park.

There are a few things I learned from my first trip to the dermatologist that I’ll know for next year’s visit:

1.  The skin check requires that the doctor look closely at your skin- obviously.  Not wanting to go in looking like the elusive Sasquatch, and hoping that the doctor would be able to see my skin without having to brush my leg hair aside, I knew I needed to do some maintenance.  As I set my alarm an extra 20 minutes early so I could shave, I thought that seemed a little sad…then it became down right tragic when it took me even longer than the allotted 20 minutes to do the hair removal.  Note to self, consider shaving above the knee more than 3 months a year.

2.  Avoid people the day of the appointment.  I was told to not wear any makeup for the skin check, which makes sense, and I guess I forgot how terrible I look when I don’t have my face spackled brightened with cosmetics.  I ran into a friend at the gas station, and I said simply that I was on my way “to the doctor’s office.”  Well, between my nonspecific comment, and not wearing any makeup, my totally well-meaning friend looked at me with concern, scowled, and said, “Well, I hope you feel better soon!  Get some rest; you look terrible!”  I didn’t have the heart to tell her the aforementioned doctor was the dermatologist and I felt fine, so I just faked a cough and hurried to the appointment before I worried anyone else with my haggard appearance.

3.  Generally I feel fairly happy with my body.  I’d call it a combination of a healthy body image and a general lack of shame, but I have to admit feeling a little self conscious as I was examined.  Want to test your self confidence? If you ever feel really good about yourself, you can put it to the test by standing in front of a *stranger in your bra and underwear as they look over your entire body through special glasses, sometimes with an extra magnifying glass, and see how confident you really feel. (*Don’t pick any stranger, stick to dermatologists).

4.  I have no idea what a suspicious spot looks like, because apparently, I didn’t have any.  I was prepared to have the dermatologist say I needed two dozen freckle like spots burned off my face, but to my surprise nothing was abnormal.  I was most relieved by one small area above my lip which has caused me some anxiety over the last couple months. However, the doctor assured me, upon super-close-up-inspection, that it was nothing and had I been a man I probably would have shaved it off by accident (it’s in my mustache).  Maybe I just need a sharper razor…

shave

 So that’s it – nothing to report other than I spent an abnormal amount of time shaving all but the worrisome freckle from my mustache.  Having a stranger stare at my body while I stood in my undergarments shook my self confidence a bit, but not nearly as much as my friend thinking I had contracted a serious illness but really I just had left the house without makeup on my face.

I hope if you haven’t signed up for a skin check, you’ll follow my awkward lead and get one for yourself.  The Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms even have resources for free skin checks in your area.  Check out their post here.

I know I’ll be getting mine every year until time travel is invented and I can go back and kick my twenty year old self out of the tanning booth.

Pale.  It’s the new tan.  Tell your friends.

 

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May 092013
 

Back by popular demand, it’s this year’s Bad Mother’s Day Gifts!  For the 3rd year in a row, whether you want to avoid giving the mother in your life a bad gift or if you’re looking for a passive-aggressive way to let your Mom know she makes Betty Draper (Mad Men) look like June Cleaver, then this is the best-worst list for you!

(Be sure to check out link to the Bad Mother’s Day Gifts from 2012 and 2011 at the bottom of the post)

1.  The Fat Magnet.  This $20 kitchen gadget is supposed to remove unwanted fat from your food. First of all, you’re insinuating that your Mom needs to worry about removing the fat from her food, and secondly, there is no way this device actually works.  If it did, I’d have 10.  Spend the $20 on flowers, or better yet, it’s Mother’s Day, go buy her some chocolate!  Source

fat-magnet-1

2. Double Kitchen Canisters (aka automatic toddler feeders) – Let’s call a spade a spade on this one.  This is entrapment.  Who hasn’t had a morning where you want to sleep in and tell your toddler to go make breakfast themselves?  With this automated cereal dispenser, you can pretend you toddler is a cat and they can eat what they can dispense while you sleep in.  Of course, I’m not saying your Mom would do such a thing, but don’t tempt her either. Source

toddler feeders

3.  Predator Claw Rings – ($900.00 per paw) I’m usually not at a loss for words, but this time I’ll just leave you with a suggestion.  How about a gift certificate for a manicure instead? Source

predator claw rings

4. Trendy Fashions – We all know trends come and go, and what one person calls trendy another might say is…well, I don’t have words for this fashion fail.  Thanks to Facebook follower, Jill Hector, for this wonderfully, tragic find – The Steve Buscemi DressSource

Steve-Buscemi-Dress-front-back

5. Carpet Sandals – We’ve all heard of the carpet matching the drapes…but what about the sandals?  Wait, what? Source

Carpet-Sandals

6. Gold Poop Pills – These gold infused pills will turn your poop sparkly!  Now, I’m not a medical doctor, or an accountant, but spending $435 on pills to put some pizazz in your poo <insert jazz hands> seems like a dangerous waste of money.  Maybe buy Mom something made of gold she can wear like a necklace or earrings…or hell, just let her use the bathroom alone! Thanks (for lack of a better word) to Facebook follower Katelyn Thompson for finding this very, very bad gift! Source

gold pills to make your poo gold

7. Wake-n-Bacon Alarm Clock -  Is Mom always complaining that she never gets breakfast in bed?  Well, she won’t be able to complain anymore when she is awoken to the aroma of (sort of) fresh cooked bacon next to her be in the morning with the Wake-n-Bacon Alarm Clock!  Source

wake-n-bacon-

8.  Food Dress – These amazing dresses were created by artists Artist Yeonju Sung and comprised of fruits and vegetables.  Maybe I’d suggest these as a gift if they were made of something more delicious like candy or french fries, but as is, even a fashionable styled salad, is still just a salad.  Source

food dress

9. Wearable luggage -  Moms are always complaining about not having enough space in their purses, and most Moms are looking for that everything bag.  This is not it. These ponchos may carry up to 33lbs of luggage, but there’s no room for pride, shame, or a positive reputation. Source

wearable-luggage-jaktogo

10. Hana Tsun Nose Straightener - Does your Mom have a crooked nose?  Does it make her hard to look at and love?  Well, for just $49USD you can make your Mom’s nose more socially acceptable and visually appealing.  Source

Hana-Tsun-Nose-Straightener

Still need some more bad gift ideas?

Check out the Bad Mother’s Day Gifts from 2012 and Bad Mother’s Day Gifts from 2011!

Keep an eye out for my 3rd annual Bad Father’s Day Gift Guide, coming soon!

What do you think?  Would you like to receive any of these gifts? Anything tickle your fancy?  Leave me a comment & let me know how you like the list!  I’d love to hear from you!

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