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It was just 7:28am on the first Monday of summer break when I heard those two words that made me cringe.

I’m bored!

I continued to sip my first cup of coffee, which we all know is the most critical cup of the day, just watching the rain hit the window as I processed those words.

I’m bored!

I marveled to myself at how many different roles we assume for our children – parent, teacher, nurse, cruise director.

I hated that last one.

I had some options, but it was still so early in the day that I was probably going to need to get creative.

Shit.

I wasn’t ready to lose them to the TV and video games yet, and the last time we played a board games I changed the name from Family Game Night to Let’s Start a Fight Night.

Then it hit me, if they were going to have me in charge of entertainment, before 8am no less, I was going to have it be entertaining for me as well.

That’s only fair, right?

So we started off with something to get us up and moving – The Harlem Shake – Family style. Check out the video (it’s quick):

Unfortunately, although fun, that only took about 3 minutes to make including finding the outfits.

Time for something that would take a little longer – but what was a cure for summer vacation boredom on day #2?

I laughed to myself as I remembered once stumbling on a cure for boredom on the internet.

We talked it over with our dog, but he wasn’t having it. Plus there were three kids and only two eyebrows that needed to be drawn, so that seemed like an invitation for an argument.

Then I recalled seeing this viral wonder on humorist Paige Kellermen’s Facebook Wall (and then about a thousand others thereafter):

(And before some of you, yeah you, get your panties in a bunch, that’s not marker on the baby’s face. You can read about Abram aka “Evil Wizard Baby” here)

I thought of how much fun I’d have drawing evil mustaches on my kids, and maybe it was the picture of the dog, but it suddenly reminded me of my Mom Shaming.

You can read about Mom Shaming here, but the short of it was that my puppy chewed a red ink pad and stained his white fur pink back in the Fall. I submitted his photo to Dog Shaming, but not before taking a turn and shaming myself too.

So sort of along those same lines I thought that I would draw evil mustaches on my kid’s faces, but before I did, I’d let them draw evil mustaches on me first.

That’s fair, right?

So I grabbed the same hypoallergenic eye pencil we used to draw whiskers on their faces at Halloween, and the kids got to work on me.

Joey, who usually doesn’t participate in my antics, softly laughed and added, “You sort of have a mustache already.”

Thanks, kid, Brussel Sprouts for lunch it is!

Cecilia was much quieter than normal, concentrating on this seemingly once in a lifetime task.

Once she finished giving me some “freckles and brains on my forehead,” she happily handed over the pencil for her mustache to be drawn.

However, the boys both refused to participate even after they saw how totally awesome Cecilia and I looked.

That’s okay though, I wouldn’t force them to let me draw mustaches on their faces – I have photo editing software for that anyway.

The Double Standard Brothers at “Big Fish Grill”

Do you have any tricks for keeping kids busy? Leave me a comment and let me know. I’m officially out of ideas and we still have 75 days left until school starts…but who’s counting?

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My back ached a little but I remained hunched over thinking how there are few things less pleasant than being splashed in the face by toilet water when you’re getting sick…

Unless it’s when you’re helping someone else get sick like I was…

Only a few days before I had one of those Mom premonitions that I had hoped wouldn’t come true.

The kind of thought that could have been based on previous experience, or knowing a run of good luck (and health) was bound to come to an end, or perhaps a sixth sense.

Make that a sick sense…

So as the Kindergartners went up one by one to receive their diplomas last Wednesday, and they said one little boy’s name with the mention that he tried to be there but puked in the office, I knew.

Our time was coming.

It had been coming.

We dodged it over Easter when family was sick.

We dodged it earlier this month when friends were sick.

Even with just one week of school left – or because there was just one week left - it was our turn.

Jake started with it graduation night, and so far all but my oldest son has had it. Oddly it seems to have impacted everyone differently, but my youngest has been the sickest.

Sunday I helped her as much as another person can help someone when they are sick, and I ~~slept~~ laid on her floor that night and tried to get her to rest if not sleep. Almost as bad as her throwing up was the battle for liquids that began a few hours after the puking stopped.

Trying to explain to a tired, sick, thirsty three year old the need to start with tiny sips over a period of time and gradually working up to larger amounts of fluid at closer intervals was about as pleasant as spooning a honey badger, I imagine.

After about an hour she turned to me, hand on hip and declared, “Listen Lady, you better give me some more juice right now or I’m telling Dad!”

Although she’s still not eating (two days!), she is taking liquids well so I’m not too worried yet. Now that she’s free to drink as much as she wants, she’s not mad anymore either. In fact, she even made me feel appreciated for all the time I’ve spent with her the last few days, particularly in the bathroom. We had this conversation just a short while ago:

Her: You’re pretty good at wiping butts.

Me: Thanks, I’ve had a lot of practice.

Her: It shows. Nice work, Mom.

She’s also doing a better job resting, most of the time wanting to snuggle up with me. It’s hard not to enjoy the cuddle time even though she’s sick. She’s also asking for more hugs and extra kisses to make her feel better, and has been giving me extra kisses of gratitude too…

On my lips.

Never on my cheeks.

What’s wrong with my cheeks?!

Of course the infected toilet water probably already sealed my fate, so whatever makes her feel better for now. As for what makes me feel better, which I think I’ve mentioned before, is that I like to distract myself with made-up Mom games or songs when I’m up to my neck in “for reals motherhood” as I like to call it.

I’ve been singing this little ditty all day:

I know I’m not the only one doing this, right? Don’t leave me hanging here – how do you cope when you’re stressed? Don’t say wine either because my stomach is still way to sick for that (a clue I’m really not well). Leave me a comment and let me know! I need all the distraction I can get!

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