As my 32nd birthday creeps ever closer, I am becoming more and more paranoid about looking old. I have FIVE gray hairs that keep coming back in a patch on my head, regardless of how many times I pluck and curse them never to return. I’m now rocking my natural dark brown hair color too, due mostly to the fact that dying my hair will soon be out of necessity, rather than for the sheer fun of it. My decision to not to color my hair is deliberate in order to save it from any unnecessary chemical exposure. As ridiculously curly, frizzy and puffy as my hair tends to get, I’ll have no choice but to color out the grays to avoid looking like Frederick Douglass.
I have also recently resorted to applying facial creams during both the day and night to my aging face. Although I am not yet completely overwhelmed with worry about wrinkles, if I dwell on it long enough, I begin to feel a bit anxious. So based on a single magazine review, an Oprah Show, and the company’s own commercial, I purchased the Oil of Olay’s Professional Pro-X Anti-Aging Starter Protocol Kit-1. Sounds serious, right? Apparently, it’s doing better than creams that cost over $100, and better still can be purchased for around $37. It includes three items: Age Repair lotion with SPF 30, Eye Restoration Cream, and Nighttime Anti-Wrinkle Cream. So does it work? I have no idea. Definitively, I can say is that it has not cause me any breakouts. I certainly do not want any youthful appearance to be due to a face full of acne. Also, I’m not quite sold on the Eye Restoration Cream because I think that the only cure to rejuvenate my “tired eyes” is about 178 hours of consecutive sleep. Additionally, the jury is still out on the Nighttime Anti-Wrinkle Cream. I did as the package instructed the first time I used it, and applied it liberally all over my face. When I woke the next morning, my face didn’t appear to be wrinkle free so as much as is looked as if I went for a long swim in the Gulf of Mexico (sorry, too soon?). In retrospect, I should have snapped a ‘before’ photo of my face when I was starting this regime so I had a point of reference in a few more weeks.
As it stands now, I’ll happily take suggestions for other facial products, Botox testimonials, as well as plastic surgeon referrals. Currently, I’m also looking for references for a facility to give me some laser hair removal. If I let this monster on my upper lip grow in, it would be very likely that the only person who would be jealous of my mustache is Tom Selleck …and he hasn’t been relevant since 1988.