Dear Out of State Drivers,
My name is Susan and I am a busy stay at home Mom of three. I get very few opportunities to leave the house alone, so when I do get the chance to venture out solo, I would prefer to not spend 2/3 of it cursing at you. I also fear your horrendous driving could also possibly cause me to not arrive to my destination at all.
We are a small state, second smallest in the nation in fact, but we do still have busy roads. In fact, the Delaware section of Interstate 95 is one of the busiest stretches of that road along the East Coast. Many will pass through our “Small Wonder” on the Interstate we share on their way to Philadelphia, New York, Baltimore or Washington DC. We may share the actual road, but apparently, we do not share the same rules of the road as other states.
In my 40 mile journey to get my haircut (Blake at Currie Hair, Skin, and Nails is so fabulous I’d get on a plane to have her tame my hot mess hair if I had to), I encountered many variations in Delaware driving laws from yours in other states. For example, here in Delaware, the left lane is for passing, and as the signs clearly state all along the roadway, slower traffic should remain in the right lanes. It is not okay to drive 10pmh under the speed limit and drive the same speed as the car next to you. Pass the other car or get over; you are causing a significant traffic jam (I’m talking to you Maryland!). When you are not passing, and you are driving on one of our freeways, like Rte 1 which takes you from northern Delaware all the way down to our beaches and back, please stay in the right lane. You may also find this would be an appropriate time to use your automobile’s cruise control feature. It is not appropriate to pass someone going 80mph, then to have them pass you minutes later while you are going 60 mph (in the left lane), and then repeat this process several times. If you then see the person at a gas station, do not say, “You again!” and laugh or you might have to listen to a driving lesson and cruise control tutorial at a gas pump. No, I’m not laughing, and yes, I am talking to you, New Jersey!
Lastly, here in Delaware we advise that if you feel the need to pull off the road for any reason, that you pull as far off as possible, and then when re-entering the road, utilize your turn signals and wait for traffic to clear. New York, it is not appropriate for you to pull into traffic moving 65mph+ without a turn signal and without warning. You may not have realized this, but we all have the right away. You have the right to go drive off a cliff.
So please, come to Delaware. Visit our historical sites, enjoy our beaches, play some slots or watch some Nascar at Dover Downs, and my favorite, enjoy our tax free shopping. While you are here, just make sure you buckle up (it’s the law) and we also request you remove your head from your ass before operating a motor vehicle.
Thank you in advance for your ongoing cooperation.
Best,
Susan
on behalf of all the other drivers hoping to arrive at their destinations in one piece
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2010
This seriously just made my day. Wow. I love it! You are so comical!
Thanks for the comment, Kerri and I’m so glad you liked the post!!
Susan
Lol!!! Thanks susan. I love having you as much as you like coming to me! You are too funny!
I’m lucky I made it there and back in one piece. When some idiot pulled right into traffic from the shoulder on the way home, and no less than 10 cars swerved and slammed on the brakes I thought, “Well, at least my hair will look nice at my funeral…” Asshole! LOL! Tell Currie to open something down here. Kent County is begging for some style! : )
i love this post! i know exactly how you feel
it made me laugh thank you!
i also just started my own blog if you want to check it out… have a great weekend!
I’m sure everyone feels the same way where they are from, and I’m sure it’s not just me…we just have a TON of beach traffic this time of year. Glad you enjoyed it though, and I can’t wait to check out your blog too!
Thanks for the comment, Heather!
Susan
Hello neighbor! If u are driving 40 miles to get to Currie does that mean you live in Dover area? I’m in Milford and I always get a kick out of seeing Delaware mentioned ANYWHERE! By the way we lovingly refer to them as either white taggers or tourons. And you forgot to mention that in Delaware we allow you to make u-turns, you don’t have to back up the highway!
Patti,
Just north of Dover, actually…and I know you must be a true Delawarean if you are excited to see it mentioned in print- because I’m the same way! lol…My husband, who has only been here 11 years, makes fun of me for that all the time! I myself, am from Wilmington originally, lived in Newark and now I’m a Kent County resident. I’d love to live in Lewes one day, so I tell people I’m moving south one county at a time…
And you ARE correct! We do allow U-turns….so no need to back up Rte.1 if you meant to take 13, or 273 if you missed I-95! We also have signs for MILES to help guide you the hell outta here! lol. Kidding. I heart tourists. Really.
Thanks for the comment, neighbor!
Susan
love, love, love this! i needed that laugh- thank you! and, for sure, travel far and wide for that excellent hairdresser– well worth (almost) every bad driver that you *need* to honk, swear, yell at along the way!
Minnesota Mamleh-
I think next time I’ll schedule myself some time to unwind afterward! I was so stressed out it nearly (and I said nearly) ruined my trip out. Although I find the cursing is good for me …I don’t do it nearly as much as I used too given the company I now keep (ages 5, 3,1). A good “eff you buddy” does the body and soul good! lol
Thanks for the comment!!
Susan
AMEN SISTER!
Glad you agree, sorry you can relate!!!
You are very funny. I lived in philadelphia once and the driving is horrible there. I only went to delaware a few times ,but I remember wilmington (i think thats what its called) but anyways I got lost in that city for about an hour, I was completelt thrown off because everything is on hills and it was hard to get myself turned back around again and figure out where I was!! LOL. I voted you for top mommy blogs:)
Patricia,
Driving in Philly is absolutely horrible! I complain about down here (and yes, Wilmington is really our only “city”). In Philly they never use turn signals, tailgate like crazy, and my favorite- always flash their lights at you. I’m happy to get out of the way if anyone wants to go faster than me…they do it even when you have cars in front of you and there’s no where to go! Crazy!!
Thanks for the comment and the vote on top mommy blogs! It’s very appreciated!
Susan
Nail on the head Susan! Great, funny as hell post! Also reminded me that I need to make an appointment with Blake!
Thanks, Beth! I’m glad you enjoyed it, sorry if you can relate though!!
And get in there to see Blake! Isn’t she awesome? I get excited to have nice hair once every three months or so!
OMG…this is sooo funny! I was just driving the other day w/my teenager & trying to warn her as a new driver of the things you mentioned above…we came up with the idea that once the transplants have lived here long enough to get DE plates on their cars that they should still have some sort of designation to let us know where their driving skills are from…i.e. DE on top, plate number, PA on bottom etc. This way we’ll be forewarned and anyone else driving thru won’t think that this is how true Delawareans drive :0) Thanks for the great read this morning!
I think you might be on to something, Torie! We need the “transplant” tags…I find that certain states seem to have the same “offenses” …like playing the “Same Speed Game” where driving the same exact speed as the car next to you no matter how fast or (usually) slow they are going (ahem, ahem, Maryland, ahem!). It might help us at least anticipate lack or turn signals, driving at erratic speeds, etc! Call our State Representatives! We need this on the agenda asap!
Thanks for reading and the comment…best of luck with your new driver (I’m flipping out about Kindergarten, I don’t even want to go there!!). Glad you liked it!
Susan
I love this. You are hilarious!
Thanks for the nice comment and for reading, Hannah! I checked out your page too…congrats on the new arrival! Too cute!!
Susan
Brand New Follower Here
Would love for you to come visit and follow me too!
http://www.trying2staycalm.com/
Shauna,
Thanks for visiting and following…just swung by your page and I’m following you too!
Hope you’ll come back soon!
Susan
I found your blog on the Mom Blogs site…so glad that I did.
love it! you’re funny. I really enjoyed reading your post and totally relate!
This is HILARIOUS!! Love your blog.
Thanks, Erin! Glad you enjoyed it; hope you come back and visit again soon!
Susan
I live in Colorado. We seem the same thing here as we have transplants from California. They do not know how to drive! I’m a transplant myself from Idaho, but we know how to drive. I always joke with my husband that my kids are going to learn how to drive in Idaho the right way.
Rachille,
So Colorado has California to worry about! Good to know if I see an Idaho out this way, they’ll know how to drive though! lol
Susan
I love this post! I hate driving. Come meet some of our Florida drivers…pretty scary stuff. I cring having to strap my babies in and go any where.
Love reading your blog. IHere is an arward to you from me- you are one of my faves. The beautiful blog award…http://mommymmsankey.blogspot.com/2010/09/great-big-thank-you.html
Melissa,
It’s a horrible feeling having to worry about driving around (with or without your kids)…Florida is probably one of the worst states because you probably have a ton of “transplants” from out of state. Be safe!
Thank you so much for the award! I’ve never received one before! I’m so glad you like reading and I hope you’ll keep coming back!
Susan
Hilarious!! I’m a new reader!
http://pearlsandgreentea.blogspot.com/
Glad you enjoyed it, J! Thanks for the comment, and I hope you’ll be back!
Susan
LOL that is how I feel when it is snowbird season on I75 in Florida and a flock of RVs migrate for the winter/summer.
I can’t imagine….that’s got to be 10X worse and 10X as many idiots than we have here! I feel for you, Melinda!
Susan
OMG – I just snorted my coffee and sent the link out to all of my family no longer in Delaware! ahahahaha it is good to know that things have not changed in the 16 years that I have been gone. NEW JERSEY this means you! I am so glad that we found each other and I am adding you to Beehive Blog’s roll so I can keep up. Now … about the other bit. The Grotto Pizza bit. If you go, PLEASE take a picture and tell them I promise to stop twitter stalking them from Utah. LOL – Have a Great Week!
Oh, thanks a lot, Kim! It’s almost 9pm and I haven’t had dinner, and you go and bring up Grotto’s! It’s a sad thing too, cause I can’t eat their pizza anymore (I developed a wheat allergy 8 yrs ago)…but I do LOVE their cheese fries…something tells me the chicken salad I was about to eat just won’t cut it now!
Glad you liked the post, and you are right, some things never do change (I’ve been driving 16 years and if anything, it’s gotten worse)!
I’m off to try to find something half as good as Grotto’s in my fridge now….
Susan