Dear Out of State Drivers,
My name is Susan and I am a busy stay at home Mom of three. I get very few opportunities to leave the house alone, so when I do get the chance to venture out solo, I would prefer to not spend 2/3 of it cursing at you. I also fear your horrendous driving could also possibly cause me to not arrive to my destination at all.
We are a small state, second smallest in the nation in fact, but we do still have busy roads. In fact, the Delaware section of Interstate 95 is one of the busiest stretches of that road along the East Coast. Many will pass through our “Small Wonder” on the Interstate we share on their way to Philadelphia, New York, Baltimore or Washington DC. We may share the actual road, but apparently, we do not share the same rules of the road as other states.
In my 40 mile journey to get my haircut (Blake at Currie Hair, Skin, and Nails is so fabulous I’d get on a plane to have her tame my hot mess hair if I had to), I encountered many variations in Delaware driving laws from yours in other states. For example, here in Delaware, the left lane is for passing, and as the signs clearly state all along the roadway, slower traffic should remain in the right lanes. It is not okay to drive 10pmh under the speed limit and drive the same speed as the car next to you. Pass the other car or get over; you are causing a significant traffic jam (I’m talking to you Maryland!). When you are not passing, and you are driving on one of our freeways, like Rte 1 which takes you from northern Delaware all the way down to our beaches and back, please stay in the right lane. You may also find this would be an appropriate time to use your automobile’s cruise control feature. It is not appropriate to pass someone going 80mph, then to have them pass you minutes later while you are going 60 mph (in the left lane), and then repeat this process several times. If you then see the person at a gas station, do not say, “You again!” and laugh or you might have to listen to a driving lesson and cruise control tutorial at a gas pump. No, I’m not laughing, and yes, I am talking to you, New Jersey!
Lastly, here in Delaware we advise that if you feel the need to pull off the road for any reason, that you pull as far off as possible, and then when re-entering the road, utilize your turn signals and wait for traffic to clear. New York, it is not appropriate for you to pull into traffic moving 65mph+ without a turn signal and without warning. You may not have realized this, but we all have the right away. You have the right to go drive off a cliff.
So please, come to Delaware. Visit our historical sites, enjoy our beaches, play some slots or watch some Nascar at Dover Downs, and my favorite, enjoy our tax free shopping. While you are here, just make sure you buckle up (it’s the law) and we also request you remove your head from your ass before operating a motor vehicle.
Thank you in advance for your ongoing cooperation.
on behalf of all the other drivers hoping to arrive at their destinations in one piece