Earlier this week, I told you about my horrible Monday which included three sick kids, monsoon rains, getting locked outside in the pouring rain, and falling down a window well trying to get back into the house. This whole week has been a blur to be honest. My husband has been in Arizona all week, my younger two kids haven’t been sleeping from all the congestion/fevers they had, thus I have not been sleeping either. Thankfully, my Mom came and stayed Monday night until yesterday so I could take Joey to and from school without having to drag two sick kids along as well. It also helped to have someone be able to watch the baby who is transforming into some sort of monkey who climbs and swings from everything and anything and cannot be left alone for more than 15 seconds at a time.
After five nights of no sleep, last night I felt like a total zombie. After cleaning up, getting the kids in bed, and finally eating dinner around 9pm, I was exhausted. I laid down on the couch to watch TV around 9:30pm and I must have passed out. I was having even weirder than normal dreams, and even though I had fallen asleep on the couch, I didn’t wake up. My immune system is also battling whatever the kids had, so that just added to my exhaustion/delirium.
I was on a large boat and dressed in formal evening wear. I wandered the halls looking for a familiar face but saw only strangers. I felt awkward in the sequin dress and felt as though these strangers where staring at me as I meandered through one long hallway after another. I finally came to a set of double glass doors that took me to a large outdoor deck. On the opposite side of the deck, which seemed hundreds of feet long, there was another door. I walked carefully as the boat swayed but still managed to bang my shin on a deck chair that slid into my path. The wind increased too and I was unable to keep my hair from my eyes. I tried to walk straight to where I thought the door would be, but was feeling blind and off balance. After stumbling around for a minute, I finally reached it. With the wind at my back, still blowing all my hair forward into my face, I struggled with the knob for a moment. Once it finally turned though, the wind threw it all the way open nearly taking the door clean off. It crashed loudly against the wall and I heard the sound of glasses shattering against the floor as I made my way inside. I battled with the door for a moment, pressing my back against it forcing it closed despite the wind’s attempt to keep it open. Once shut, I felt a thousand eyes on me but heard nothing. Looking around the ballroom I saw the damage caused by my ridiculous entrance and at least five hundred people looking in my direction. One of my nearest and dearest friends emerged from the crowd but didn’t say a word. She put her hands on my shoulders and turned me to a mirror. Not surprisingly, my hair was a hot mess of frizz and volume and I was confused why or how there were an assortment leaves in my hair. Even more startling, however, was my lipstick which seemed to have been applied by a blind person with a severe arm tick. The deep red color was all over my lips as well as above and below. My hands immediately clasped over my mouth, I went to run out the same way I came in. My friend, still silent, handed me a small tube that said “Eraser” on it and made a motion with her hands to her lips that I should wipe it off. Still feeling off balance, I put one hand on the wall and began trying to erase the lipstick from my face. Round and round I went, staring the reflection in the mirror the whole time. Round and round trying to undo the absurd red streaks all over my face. Then, unexpectedly, I felt the need to chew. Whatever it was had an odd foreign taste and I began to gag.
When I woke up I was somewhere between a chew and a gag standing in my kitchen. That’s right- I was standing in my kitchen. For the first time in my life, as far as I know, I had been sleep walking. My guess is that the unbalanced feeling, along with feeling like I couldn’t see came from walking around unconscious. The hair is an affliction I live with daily and I’m not surprised to see it incorporated in my dreams, and the “eraser” was actually an object I picked up off my counter. The object was also the reason for the funny taste and gagging which continued even after waking. Just like in my dream, I had generously applied something to my lips…Chap Stick. Round and round I went, on my lips, around my lips with the Chap Stick. At some point I must have slipped or penetrated my lips and hit my teeth. I ended up chewing a chunk of Chap Stick which I think had about the same amount of girth as a mint.
So after trying to spit out Chap Stick only to realize it was coating my teeth, I tried to rinse my mouth with water before finally going upstairs to brush my teeth at 3:26am. So add to my growing list of afflictions, sleep walking. Plus, I’m on a diet; anybody know how many calories are in a tube of Chap Stick?
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