I’ve explored how some behaviors when exhibited by a toddler or young child (we’ll say under 8yrs old) are considered appropriate because of the child’s age. However, if you imagine these same behaviors being exhibited by an adult, you’d probably agree and say they were a real jerk.

Am I saying all toddlers and young children are jerks?

No.

Am I saying just because someone is four years old they can’t sometimes act like an jerk regardless of whether their actions are considered age appropriate?

Oh, I think anyone can be a jerk…

Now, as many of you know, I live with three jerks small children.  Whether it be for emotional support or to feel better about my own situation, I tend to hang out with other people that have jerks small children too.  With so much interaction with little people, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that my list keeps growing.  I’ve added to this several times.  This concept, I have a feeling, will be an ongoing feature.

So what you need to do as you read this list is take a moment and imagine each behavior acted out by a small child as well as by an adult….what would you say? Typical toddler? Just a jerk ? You be the judge.

Toddlers vs. Jerks

1.  Someone who spits chewed food into your hand

2.  Someone who picks their nose and puts it on a wall, a school bus seat, or a friend

3.  Someone who coughs in your mouth while you are talking

4.  Someone who participates in a “farting contest” until they poop in their pants

5.  Someone with uncontrollable legs that kicks your car seat for the duration of the ride

6. Someone who unfolds and/or dumps clean folded laundry

7.  Someone who touches and fingers food on your plate without invitation to do so

8.  Someone who draws with crayons/markers/pens all over tables/desks/walls/doors/floors/self/siblings

9.  Someone who pees in the backyard rather than take two minutes to use an indoor toilet

10.  Someone who fills up a watering can in the toilet and calls it “helping”

11.  Someone comes in your room at 6am, on a Saturday, wakes you up by jumping on your bed and demands that you immediately get up and make them breakfast.

12.  Someone starts screaming at the top of their lungs in the middle of the night. You frantically go to find out what’s happened only to be told they are thirsty and want a cup of juice.

13.  Someone goes to the bathroom and calls you to come wipe their butt when they’ve finished pooping.

14.  You try to take someone by the hand to guide them in a particular direction and they instantaneously lose all muscle control and become totally limp.  You must now drag said person to the place you were trying to go.

15.  Someone, even though they can use utensils, throws forks and spoons on the floor and eats with their bare hands.  This includes foods like cereal with milk and macaroni & cheese.

16.  This same person will often rub their food into the table and chair, throw some on the floor, rub some in their hair, and occasionally on anyone sitting within arm’s reach.

17.  Inside voice? What’s an inside voice?  The quieter the place, the louder this person talks.

18.   You are in a public place such as a restaurant. The time comes to leave and this person throws an epic fit. They scream, they yell, they cry. They demand you stay and refuse to listen, quiet down, oh, and they go limp…again.

19.  Someone takes their personal belongings and randomly dumps it all over the floor all around your house.  When you ask them to pick up their stuff they ignore you, say something “smart,” or begin crying.  You end up picking up their personal belongings.

20.  Someone tells secrets, lies, or personal information about you to total strangers.  For example, they could answer your door and tell the UPS man that you are unable to come to the door because you are currently busy pooping.  There’s no good reason for that.

Do you know any jerks?  Leave me a comment & let me know!

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