Certain behaviors, if they were done by an adult, would result in them being called an asshole. These same behaviors, if acted out by little people (young children, not midgets), would simply cause many to just shrug their shoulders and say “typical toddler.”
Read these examples below which are listed in no particular order. Try to imagine an adult exhibiting these behaviors and what you’d say. Now picture a toddler and do the same.
1. Someone comes in your room at 6am, on a Saturday, wakes you up by jumping on your bed and demands that you immediately get up and make them breakfast.
2. Someone starts screaming at the top of their lungs in the middle of the night. You frantically go to find out what’s happened only to be told they are thirsty and want a cup of juice.
3. Someone goes to the bathroom and calls you to come wipe their ass when they’ve finished pooping.
4. You try to take someone by the hand to guide them in a particular direction and they instantaneously lose all muscle control and become totally limp. You must now drag said person to the place you were trying to go.
5. Someone, even though they can use utensils, throws forks and spoons on the floor and eats with their bare hands. This includes foods like cereal with milk and macaroni & cheese.
6. This same person will often rub their food into the table and chair, throw some on the floor, rub some in their hair, and occasionally on anyone sitting within arm’s reach.
7. Inside voice? What’s an inside voice? The quieter the place, the louder this person talks.
8. You are in a public place such as a restaurant. The time comes to leave and this person throws an epic fit. They scream, they yell, they cry. They demand you stay and refuse to listen, quiet down, oh, and they go limp…again.
9. Someone takes their personal belongings and randomly dumps it all over the floor all around your house. When you ask them to pick up their stuff they ignore you, say something “smart,” or begin crying. You end up picking up their personal belongings.
10. Someone tells secrets, lies, or personal information about you to total strangers. For example, they could answer your door and tell the UPS man that you are unable to come to the door because you are currently busy pooping. There’s no good reason for that.
I’m willing to bet if it was an adult doing these things, you’d probably agree and say they were an asshole. If it was a toddler, you’d say something like “Ah, terrible 2′s” or maybe “horrible 3′s.” Your reaction to a story involving any of the above will vary greatly depending on the person’s age.
Since this was originally posted, the list has been expanded. You may enjoy “Toddlers vs Assholes…Continued”
Agree? Disagree? Did I leave any out? Leave me a comment…
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