I ran a post last month titled “Toddlers vs. Assholes” where we explored how some behaviors, when exhibited by a toddler or young child (we’ll say under 8yrs old), are considered appropriate because of the age of the person acting out the behaviors. When you take these same behaviors and imagine an adult doing these same things, you’d probably agree and say they were a real asshole.
Am I saying all toddlers are assholes? No.
Am I saying just because someone is four years old they can’t sometimes act like an asshole regardless of whether their actions are considered age appropriate? Oh, I think anyone can be an asshole….
Many of you gave some really great additions to my first list that included announcing the need to have a bowel movement loudly while eating at a restaurant, bending over while bare assed after pooping and asking if they were “good” in front of company, and just yelling words like “Boobies” without cause and while in public to name just a few.
Now, as many of you know, I live with three assholes small children. Whether it be for emotional support or to feel better about my own situation, I tend to hang out with other people that have assholes small children. With so much interaction with little people, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that my list has doubled since my last post. This concept, I have a feeling, will be an ongoing feature.
This list has the newest items first with the older post’s items included as numbers 11-20. As with the original list I’d like to you to take a moment and imagine each behavior acted out by a small child as well as by an adult….what would you say? Typical toddler? Just an asshole? You’re the judge.
I give you Toddlers vs Assholes, Part II.
1. Someone who spits chewed food into your hand
2. Someone who picks their nose and puts it on a wall/school bus seat/friend
3. Someone who coughs in your mouth while you are talking
4. Someone who participates in a “farting contest” until they poop in their pants
5. Someone with uncontrollable legs that kick your car seat for the duration of the ride
6. Someone who unfolds or dumps clean folded laundry
7. Someone who touches/fingers food on your plate without invitation to do so
8. Someone who draws with crayons/markers/pens all over tables/desks/walls/doors/floors/self
9. Someone who pees in the backyard rather than take two minutes to use an indoor toilet
10. Someone who fills up a watering can in the toilet and calls it “helping”
11. Someone comes in your room at 6am, on a Saturday, wakes you up by jumping on your bed and demands that you immediately get up and make them breakfast.
12. Someone starts screaming at the top of their lungs in the middle of the night. You frantically go to find out what’s happened only to be told they are thirsty and want a cup of juice.
13. Someone goes to the bathroom and calls you to come wipe their ass when they’ve finished pooping.
14. You try to take someone by the hand to guide them in a particular direction and they instantaneously lose all muscle control and become totally limp. You must now drag said person to the place you were trying to go.
15. Someone, even though they can use utensils, throws forks and spoons on the floor and eats with their bare hands. This includes foods like cereal with milk and macaroni & cheese.
16. This same person will often rub their food into the table and chair, throw some on the floor, rub some in their hair, and occasionally on anyone sitting within arm’s reach.
17. Inside voice? What’s an inside voice? The quieter the place, the louder this person talks.
18. You are in a public place such as a restaurant. The time comes to leave and this person throws an epic fit. They scream, they yell, they cry. They demand you stay and refuse to listen, quiet down, oh, and they go limp…again.
19. Someone takes their personal belongings and randomly dumps it all over the floor all around your house. When you ask them to pick up their stuff they ignore you, say something “smart,” or begin crying. You end up picking up their personal belongings.
20. Someone tells secrets, lies, or personal information about you to total strangers. For example, they could answer your door and tell the UPS man that you are unable to come to the door because you are currently busy pooping. There’s no good reason for that.
As I said, this list will surely grow with time…anything you feel should be added? Agree? Disagree? Leave me a comment, I love hearing from you!
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I gagged at the boogers one and laughed at the coughing. Wee ‘Burb has a terrible cold and the other day came up like she was going to kiss me. I lean in and *COUGH* right in my face!!
Sorry for the unintentional gag…that one actually was NOT one of my kids! Not at least that I’ve seen anyway! And you’ve gotta love the cough to the face…I never wonder why I’m sick anymore. When the kids are spraying my face with germs, my immune system has little chance of coming out clear. Hope that Wee ‘Burb feels better and you stay healthy too!
How about when a person pees on the floor of a department store while hiding in the middle of a circular clothing rack? Toddler or asshole?
LOL!!! I remember this story! Lucky he was such a cute little bugger! Love that boy!
Whatever happened to classy, tasteful women? You don’t seem to have any respect for yourself when you’re using such foul language so easily
Hi Michelle,
Thanks for stopping by with your white wig to judge my strictly humor/entertainment blog. I am sorry to say I see no correlation between cursing and self respect. I am however, fascinated with anyone who has the time and the dedication to troll the internet looking for websites, authors and curse words they don’t approve of….good fucking luck with that.
As for me, I never claimed to be tasteful, but I have been told I put the ASS in class! (Ba-dump- bump!)
susan, your awesome. your response to this troll was great! thanks for the chuckle!
Thanks, Lori!!
I appreciate the positive vibes & glad you enjoyed the post/responses! 
That Michelle needs to go F herself. How’s that for self respecting.. If you don’t like what your reading…..here’s a thought Michelle..THEN GO TO A DIFFERENT WEBSITE. It’s called freedom of speech for a reason. Susan you keep those laughs coming!!
Holla! <—I've been using that word a lot today! I guess that's what I'm so confused about- why take the time to comment if you dislike it….apparently "Michelle's" Mama never taught her the rule about if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all….and Good, God. Why is she wasting time here….I don't even curse in every post….you think she'd have bigger fish to fry…what do you think she thinks of porn if cussing shows no self respect?? LOL
Thanks for the love, Staci!!
i totally agree with lori! and yes, you do put the ass in class!
Holla! Thanks, Amy….I think so too
I’ve always felt that the response to cussing was overrated. For me, it’s the lack of control that should be admonished, not the words. Who cares if you say “frickin” instead of “fucking”? Both show that you couldn’t think up a better way to express your frustration. That being said, I cuss like a long haul trucker, as my husband says, and do not judge others for their foul language. I just think it’s silly to have a problem with the words when the issue should really be lack of imagination and self-control.
I mean, I could say “bloody” and “shite” all day long, and no one in the US would gasp in horror, but in the UK, there would be shock and awe.
Words don’t hurt. Babies/toddlers twisting nipples while nursing (or in line at the grocery) hurts.
I think it’s even more absurd that people get mad about the “written” word. I guess I understand that people may not want their kids to hear the language, but some people even freak when it’s in a post. Who cares? I’m actually a little more reserved here on the blog, but in real life I drop F-bombs like it’s my job. It makes me feel better, kind of a stress relief.
And you are correct- words don’t hurt, but baby purple nurples do!
I feel better when I hear other moms curse! Makes me feel normal since I like to use the f-word alot!
I find it’s way better than holding it in, hitting my kids, or stressing out. If an occasional “f-word” makes me happier than oh well!
This is coming in real late, but I just wanted to say that if I have to stop and think about what words to use when I’m really stressed and wanting to blow off steam, that takes some of the force out of the steam, as it were. I lose my momentum. The stress is not blown off and just sits and simmers.
Whereas if I go ahead and swear, presto, I feel better.
I understand science is beginning to bear this out, too. People who swear are less stressed. What’s more important, my health or someone’s outdated sense of propriety? If they’re stressed out by my language they can always cuss too.
Mind you, I’m still careful around people I’m not sure about. I don’t want to cause out and out offense in someone who hasn’t earned it.
I’m sure the white-wig wearing pearl clutcher is still mortified by your post…I ran across it today and laughed my ass off! I just finished the blog regarding your son Jake’s visit to the doctor and his confirmation regarding the regulation number of balls a boy is entitled to carry in his boxers.
Keep on keeping on…you made my day…never stop swearing or telling it like it is–you make people like me feel in good company. Thanks for always making me laugh.
This is class act stuff!! All of it!!! So honest and truthful about being in this war that some women pretend is so easy. Children are hard we only have one child and it is tough. For the 1st four years I wondered what I had done to deserve this torture…..if I had more than One I would just drive by the house and throw food out because this S.H.IT is war and it the childrend ver the moms and assholes!!! I luv this blog!!! So if you don’t like the verbage don’t log on!!!
Thanks, Nikki! I appreciate the comment and I’m glad you agree…don’t like it, don’t read it! Seems simple enough, right?
And It can’t be easy as they say it is….I used to think I was crazy….now I think they’re all liars or medicated. This shit is hard!
Oh my, I just got my morning maybe only laugh today!!! Love this list I have to say my 2 assholes well they meet everyone of these. My youngest has moved from just telling me I have pretty boobies to giving me a rub down in the grocery store checkout yesterday with some old asshole watching!!! Love following your momventures. You deserve to win funniest mom blog!!!
I’m with you on the above comment WTF!! I have plenty of “self-respect” but I still curse like a college student!! Hell you have to when your surrounded by fucking assholes all day
Tiffany, either you have no self respect or a sense of humor! LOL I could have deleted the comment from Michelle, but it was SO friggin funny I had to post and reply. Seriously, being a Mom is a hard job, the hardest I’ve ever had….so if I choose to curse here, or in real life, does that really make me unclassy? I just wish I had the kind of time to troll around looking for bad words to wag my fingers at….oh, how glorious that kind of free time must be!
And I spit my coffee when I read about your grocery store rub down! LOL! Gotta love the little buggers! Better from a toddler than an adult though!!!
HILARIOUS!!! I am dying laughing over here.
Thanks, Christine! Glad you liked it, sorry if you can relate!
OMG!! Thank you for putting how i feel into words!! i died reading that!! i live with 2 assholes and one in training!!
Feel free to follow me at mamaof3cuties.blogspot.com
LOL…..sorry it’s easy for you to relate to, but glad you’ve got a sense of humor about it. Don’t know about you, but it’s what’s helping me get through the day….
I must admit, I so love your blog, and sense of humor.
Thankfully, my little one is still too young to do anything too embarrassing , other than loudly fart while on my lap and look up at me, but I do so enjoy the stories of my best friends two year old daughter loudly walking through stores and yelling ‘Oh mommy/daddy you poopied!’ and/or walking past their rear ends and pretend sniffing and screaming EW. haha.
I fear for my own turn, haha.
Thanks, Jessica….and it’s okay to laugh now….in fact, I’d laugh while the laughing is good. Your time will come, and hopefully you’ll be able to keep on laughing. Aside from the wine, it’s one of the only things getting me through! I’ve been dealing with “terrible two’s” for four years!
omg. i love these. you are hysterical and just what i need when my kids are driving me bonkers. the new additions made me laugh so hard tears came to my eyes. (the farting contest really got me, as did the laundry one lmfao)
as for the cussing? a mama’s gotta do what a mama’s gotta do. you’re awesome, don’t change a thing!
The farting contest, thank God, was the other one (aside from the boogers) that was not my kids…the laundry one is ALL three of my kids, and with as much as I HATE laundry, they’re all lucky that they are so cute…they like to dump and sit in the baskets. I like to leave laundry sitting in baskets. The only thing worse than folding is putting the clothes away
And Thanks for the kind words, and you’re right…gotta do what ya gotta do…
Ironically, my husband fulfills number 8 to a T!! He will purposely go from inside the house to the outside, JUST to pee…I’m like WTF?? Seriously?? LOL Oh well, what can we do…
Thanks for the laugh today!!
I wanted to include in the post, but it didn’t “flow” as nice, that I know SEVERAL asshole/adults that do this too….husband, uncles, friends. I always pray the neighbors aren’t looking. *sigh* I wonder where the little ones get it from?
you may wonder where the little one gets it from, but at least ya know why the roses are dyin…
OMG! Who the fuck is Michelle? I mean AHEM who is Michelle? By the way I TOTALLY agree with all of the swearing being a really fucking poor reflection on you, Susan. Do you kiss your mother with that fucking mouth? Seriously, class it the fuck up would ya?
I know. I’m a fucking disgrace.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me a classless whore. Or something like that…
Bahahahahaa!!!! Oh, shit! That is fuckin’ priceless! I love a nice limerick in the afternoon…
She can’t kiss her mother with that mouth! That would be considered lesbianism. And if Michelle can’t take the heat of letters combined together to form an expressive word, then she definitely can’t handle to females mouths combined together!
I never did understand why people are offended over language. IT IS JUST WORDS!!!! So lame! I think I am going to start getting offended over people being offended. Yup you can no longer be offended because that offends me. lol For christs sake!
Someone reaches up in the middle of the grocery store, in front of God and everybody, and bounces your tits together. Toddler or asshole??? How about some weird combination of both! Great post, dear, and wonderful way to handle that fukken classless/assless troll!
LOL…titty bouncing in public is rarely going to be a good situation!
And thanks …I could have just deleted the comment, it was in “moderation,” but I was too tickled not to approve it.
I seriously can not stop laughing. This made my night. Thanks for coming up with such a funny and creative topic. Don’t be discouraged by the hater, she obviously has no sense of humor. I look forward to reading your blog! I just started blogging – http://www.winecheeseandbabies.blogspot.com – I’m not nearly as witty though ( :
Glad that you have a sense of humor and can see the obvious jokes here…I’m hopeful I’ll keep getting new visitors like you, Celina! Glad you enjoyed the blog so far, hope you come back & visit again…just signed up to follow you…I hope you keep it up, I enjoyed reading through a few of your posts!
I found you here through Celina! I was reading the list aloud to my husband and had to stop to wipe the tears from my eyes. Just today I had to carry my almost 3 year old under my arm to the car after he went limp on the sidewalk. Why? Because the other option was to walk holding my hand. I know, I ask so much of my children! He also has the assholish (is that a word?) habit of making comments about his penis in public. “My penis is itchy, can I scratch it?” At least he asks which is more than his father does! I forwarded your blog onto other friends with toddlers and I’m sure they’ll love it as much as I do! Thanks for the laughs!
I’m so sorry you can relate so easily, Caroline! I am glad you’re enjoying it though!
And you ARE lucky that he at least will ask to scratch. My boys are not so polite! LOL
Loved the blog. However to all of you Young Moms. The days are LONG and the years are QUICK. Enjoy every minute of your little Toddlers. Mine are 29 and 25, I only wish I could have a Toddler vs A#$))#s day once in a while.
Judy I’m sure that the day will come, long before 25 and 29 where I will be wishing for these toddler days again! I KNOW you’re right! I just choose to pretend it’s not happening
First off, my assholes are bigger assholes than your assholes. Can you please change number 1 to taking chewed food out of her mouth and forcing it into yours? And you forgot that a real asshole doesn’t think anything of going into someone else’s home and emptying all the drawers in the kitchen, rifling through personal papers and smashing pie tins together…at 4am. hee hee x
Okay, chewed food being stuffed into your mouth is assholish for sure and definitely beats getting it just spit into my hands! And maybe not at 4am, but boy do my kids like going through other people’s stuff. I’m thinking of keeping all three on a leash from now on. A real short one.
I think you must be mistaken….these behaviors are exhibited by my husband…are you sure you aren’t talking about him?
Is he an asshole? Or kind of an asshole? Some adults, many of whom I am directly related and/or married to, have also done some of these things as well. They can’t use the “toddler” crutch because they are 30-40 years too old….the worst offense from my group of adults? Peeing in the yard.
OMG…this had me laughing so hard!! Can I just add to #14…as an especially nice touch when you are out in public, they go limp and start screaming at the top of their lungs OUCH OUCH OUCH MY ARM!!! so that you fear someone is about to call CPS on you, for simply trying to get your child to the car/out the door/wherever you are going.
Or, as happened to a friend of mine, yelling “Stranger! Stranger!” at her own Mom!
Glad you enjoyed it, sorry you can relate 
Laughed so hard I had tears rolling down my face. I actually googled “why are toddlers assholes” and found this blog (yes I was having that kind of day). I can relate to the simliar toddler assults you guys are talking about.
Great post!
First, let me say I hope today was a better day for you…..second, take solace in the fact that you are among dozens of other Moms and toddler or asshole caregivers that Google that and find me. I read my stat report and I laugh my ass off at how many other parents google toddlers and assholes. We’re not alone!
Glad you appreciated the post, sorry you can relate!
Thanks for making me laugh until I cried – my boys are 3 and 4 and I feel confident in saying I have experienced pretty much everything on your list! This is the first time I have visited your site but you are now in my Favorites folder. I found you through the TopMommyBlogs site. Thanks for finding and sharing the humor in everyday life!
Sorry you can relate so easily..but glad you can see the humor in it too! I hope you come back and visit again & thanks for your comment!!
Ah, number 4…I actually know several adults who have done number 4. I even dated one of them in my 20s.
Here’s one for your list, though fair warning, it’s gross. Someone who turns toward you to throw up, even though you have put a large pot in a handy spot right next to them.
The above actually happened to me while I was nannying several years ago. It was not pretty. Instead of leaning over to throw up into the nice, handy, clean pot that I put beside her, just in case, my little monkey sat up, turned toward me and said, “I think I’m going to thr…..rrrrrbbbllkaaakkkkuuuughgh.” Here’s a handy tip. Do not ever try to verbally comfort someone as they are projectile vomiting in your direction. That’s never a good time to have your mouth open. Not only was I covered in an unbelievable amount of barf, but I also actually choked on some! I don’t know how I managed not to get sick myself, especially since I had this uncomfortable feeling in the back of my throat all day. However, later on the way home I was telling my hubby the story and the horror of it all finally hit me. I yelled, “Pull over” and proceeded to vomit myself. It was even worse when I saw a little chunk of carrot, which I hadn’t eaten (but she had)! Eeeewwww!
Okay, that was awful…and the worst part was, it wasn’t even your kid! Ugh! And the carrot! I am so sorry that happened to you!!!!
Yes, it was awful, but within a few days it was hilarious. Once I got over how gross it was, it made for a great story, especially when it can be told with visual and sound effects.
LOL….at least you have a sense of humor about it….otherwise you’d probably be scarred for life!
Someone who thinks it’s cool to repeat their asshole remark/question over and over and over again until you yell at them.
http://www.toulouseandtonic.com
Amen!
I Loved reading this cracked me up to no end. Totally loved the humor could read you blogs all day. The cursing just makes it that much better in my opinion
Thanks so much Traci! I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog so far! And I’m glad you can appreciate a little cursing now and again
Brings some feeling into it!
Holy crap, this post made me laugh hysterically! Fantastic observation and comparison, as I live with two “assholes” (one is three, and the other is thirty one…) and one of them thinks that flying pizza around like an airplane is appropriate in a restaraunt and the other I have to convince that wearing pants is NOT an option in some situations! (I’ll let you guess which is which!)
Thanks for making my day, and for reassuring me that I am not completely nuts nor am I alone!
Ahahaha! Don’t you love when the adult and the toddler are interchangeable?! And sorry it’s easy for you to relate, but glad you can see the humor in it! And you are most certainly NOT alone. My favorite part about this post is that my reports show that a ton of people are finding and reading it by searching “Why are toddlers such assholes” on Google!! LOL Join the club
OMG !!! This is sooooooooo totally true, as the mother of 2 young boys, aged 4 and 6.5 i can totally relate to ALL of them!!! I was laughing so hard i was crying by the time i got to number 20. Thank you soooooo much for such a great laugh on Mothers Day!
I’m so that this was easy to relate to, but I am glad you can see the humor in it too! A good laugh until you cry is good for you and I’m so glad this post did it! Thanks for your comment & hope you had a great mother’s day!
OM Freakin G!!! This was HILARRRRRRIOUS, i havn’t laughed so hard in i cant remember how long. I had to go and get another box of tissues i was just dying. So needless to say i have one Asshole (Mr4) and another on the way, well i guess i should say i have three as im sure my husband does many of the above items.
I am just so bloody relieved to see that i am not the only one with a little asshole when all my other mummie friends seem to have ‘angels’ and only mine is smelly, naughty, loud, rude one..
Oh please don’t ever stop blogging, this is such gold that ive now decided to read a little each day, i swear you make me laugh so hard im going to pee myself one day. I love the comments too and am just so bloody happy im not the only one out there!!!
Someone pees in the display toilet & quickly runs out the door (that was my older brother when he was being potty trained)
Someone wipes their snotty nose all over your shirt/couch/pillow without hesitation
Ahhhh…the snotty noses on the cough is awful…and something I am all too familiar with!
One more…. a person that takes food from a strangers plate at a restaurant & thinks nothing of it
I agree….and I did that as a kid! What an asshole I was (am?)!! LOL
Numbers 13 and 17 made me laugh out loud.
Is it bad that my kids have maybe done 1/4 of these things, but my exhusband did at least HALF of them?
Anyone can be an asshole
That’s my motto…and the kids have to get some of these from somewhere, right?
Ha Ha! Love your blog. My little asshole loves to go up to any obese woman and ask if there is a baby in her belly and don’t forget chasing down anyone in a wheelchair to ask for a ride. LOL he is the reason I never get embaressed.
At least it doesn’t embarrass you….my kids like to keep the bar raised high too
My 2 boys have exhibited all of those between them! In fact my 2 year old just threw all the washing I had just finished folding. I called him an arsehole under my breath! And said two year old also coughed in his fathers mouth Tyne other day. Dad now has a terrible “man cold”!!
Not the “man cold!” That just adds another kid to the house for anywhere from 3-25 days depending on severity of the “man cold!”
And the folded wash is one of my biggest annoyances with the kids….mostly because I hate, hate, hate laundry!
Love it…so true!
My youngest son was such a perv until he was about three(it was easier to potty train him than it was to break this habit). He would only let well endowed women hold him and would cry if some skinny flat chested female tried….the reason for this was as soon as said large breasted female got him in her arms(this happened frequently as the little asshole was absolutely adorable…according to his victims…I live with him and disagree) his little hand would go inside her top and start rubbing her boobs through her bra. I would apologize profusely and turn so many shades of red…I am also aware that this is gonna happen again in just a few short years…
Holy crap, I’m sitting here reading this trying not to wake a sleeping 3 month old who is laying on me. I am shaking the hell out of her because I’m laughing so hard. Also as I read this, my two year old poured a box of triscuits on the floor next to me and I did nothing about it because of said sleeping baby. Oh and by the way, I’ve told my husband more than once that my two year old is in fact an ASS HOLE!!!!
Had to laugh about the peeing outside… my 4 year old does it all the time…and I know it’s totally inappropriate but I also have a 2 year old and 10 month old (thats inappropriate too but not where I was going…) and I find myself peeing outside sometimes too…it’s just easier than dragging the non trustworthy ones inside. Love this post!
Love the name of your site! And my kids are now 6,4 and 2 so I feel your pain! lol
I actually encourage outside peeing! I figure any pee not in my laundry or on my floors is GOOD pee!
Thank you for the compliment! I’m new to the blogging and I really am enjoying it. It gives me something for myself and my family and friends have been so supportive. The kids keep me laughing every day and it makes me laugh all over again when I write stories about them!
Is it bad that my husband meets 6 of the above ‘asshole’ criteria? I won’t bother you with which 6. Now the kids (4 boys) … they’ve met them all at any given time/age. Little assholes indeed!
New blog reader here … might be falling in love with you and/or concerned you’re following me around blogging my life, lol. Parenting is not for the faint of heart.
Thank You for the laughs .I have a 10 yr old and twins who are 19 months old. I can relate to it all. I laughed so hard i was crying !!!!
I have only just come across this amazing website…where have you been all my life!!! I’m a well educated, well traveled person and mother of 2 assholes, I have NOT stopped laughing at this blog and it has made me feel so very human…thank you so much for reminding us to laugh everyday whilst attempting mothering thing…
How about pooping in a public display toilet, instead of telling you they need to use the restroom? My mom informed me when I was a child I did that to her.. She was humiliated. Good thing my kids haven’t done that to me.. yet..
How about when they come in your room screaming they cant get it out…after they have put nail polish in their hair..silver even!
I just love this list and everyones comments about it!!!! I am a little in awe that I can finally let go of some of the guilt of thinking my kids are assholes sometimes. And let go of the guilt that I must be nuts to even think that way. Everyone says oh kids will be kids, but they never said acting like idiots was part of the deal. I really didnt know some of this shit is not only normal stuff but just regular ole stuff that happens when you decide to bring children into this world who look so ‘angelic’ in my facebook pictures, but act like knuckle heads when we step into a public place sometimes! …….my addition to the list among many other thoughts is this: when they totally and completely ignore you like they must infact be partially deaf, but mention something about chocolate in the same sentence as get your pj’s on and all of sudden they can hear! I took twinlet #1( almost 4 yo.boy twinlet #2 is his sis and his other sis is 5 1/2 ) to Dr’s to have hearing tested. I was shocked when they said he passed. lol The doc either missed something or my son already has the man-ability of not hearing me when I call his name. Its frustrates me and I always felt bad that it did. thank you so much. I really am gonna think on this now. I guess the people who tell me Im to hard on myself might be right! uh oh, =-)
Someone who will not let you have a conversation with another person in their presence – either on the phone or face to face – without interupting you every 20 seconds. Toddler or asshole?
Someone who demands you put the baby down and attend to them that second. …Todder or asshole?
Someone who decides they would rather poop in the register of the floor rather than use the toilet in the bathroom and you keep wondering why their room smells horrible but just can’t figure it out…toddler or asshole?
That last one is a friend’s son who was doing it – I can’t take credit for that one but I think it takes the cake. Who does that??
While feeling done with the world of mommy-hood and opting to stare at Facebook and pretend my house isn’t a wreck for a few more minutes (hours) I stumbled upon your Facebook page. The green sun suit seems totally reasonable to me and so I checked out your blog. After reading and enjoy many entries I came across this and laughed so hard I was reminded of another post you wrote regarding the reality of my body at age 33. Now that I am back from the bathroom and wearing dry underwear I just have to let you know how much you brightened my day. I’m not saying I’m so inspired I’m gonna loose my mind and clean or anything….but I’m sure to have a much better attitude while tripping over kid toys and wiping butts for the remainder of the day. Thanks!
My job here is done! Thanks for reading and I’m glad I could brighten your mood today!
Hysterical Post!!!! Sad but true with so many of the musings, with someone in my life. Blessings!!!!
How about your 6yrthe old asshole tells your 5yr old asshole to quit being a pussy in the middle of the movie theater right before the movie starts and its nice and quiet…I almost died!!!
I nearly peed I laughed so hard! I also totally get the poster who had the grocery store rubdown. How’s this for an asshole: not only am I forced to brush his teeth for him, but I get a good boobie fondling at the same time. Awesome. Also, he likes to announce at church that momma likes beer. I’m actually a wine drinker but whatever.