What is it that they say about the third time around?
It’s a “charm, right?”
I agree, but only if by charm they mean that the third time around is a testament to your sanity.
Because when I say it’s my third time, and a charming one at that, I am, of course, referring to potty training.
My first two disasters experiences were with my boys whom I was told, given their gender, would be more difficult to train. After surviving the literal shit-storm- twice-I can honestly stand here and tell you it would have been easier for me to eat some coal and poop some diamonds than have those two just go on the toilet. After months and months with Joey, I sat with him in the bathroom one day and said, “We’re not leaving until you poop on the potty. I’m prepared to sit this one out.”
Three hours later he yells “Mom! Mom! I need a Pull-Up or a diaper! The poop is gonna fall out!” Had this kid even been listening to what this process was all about??
As for boys being more difficult than girls, I cannot say for certain whether this is true, or if my other Mom friends at the time saw the defeat in my eyes and heard the underlying desperation in my voice, and therefore told me all boys were a challenge when it came to potty training in order to make me feel better. Perhaps they didn’t want me to feel like a mother of a failure…because I did.
As I begin this transition for the third time, I pray that boys are harder than girls. This means I should be having an easier time with my 22 month old daughter…but so far I’m not. Cecilia just started potty training, and when I say that I mean she is still in diapers 24 hours a day, pees and poops only when diapers are on, and prefers potty time to be a place to be read to and sung to while she sits bare-assed on the toilet for what seems like hours at a time. On occasion she’ll take a break from books so she can dip her hands into the big toilet or unroll as much toilet paper as she can before getting caught.
Ashamed, becuase I should be a veteran at this by now, I turned late one night to the internet. Surely, Google would discretely refer me to some parenting websites that might offer some clue into unlocking the potty training secret, or something that would shorten this process and allow me to keep my sanity, at the very least.
So I sat in my living room, logged off of Facebook and Twitter, and quietly typed queries on Google in the dark of my living room praying for a cure (is that the right word?).
It was there in the dead of night, quietly tapping away on my keys that I discovered some of the worst products for potty training. But this, THIS is exactly how they get you!
You’re desperate!
You’re tired!
You’re knee deep in someone else’s crap when suddenly you see these products and think, “Hey, maybe it’ll work?”
“It’s just got to work!”
“Please, dear God, let it work!”
There, in that moment of sheer desperation, you take out your credit card and before you know it you’re the proud owner of:
Potty Time Gets Plush
These are plush toys- one is pee and the other (you guessed it) is poop. Two things: 1) I am not encouraging my kids to play with poop or pee whether it be plush or not AND 2) If my kid owned this, it would be THE toy they couldn’t live without and I’d have to explain to people why my kid’s “lovie” was a plush turd
Shit or Get of the Pot
This is not a game. I repeat, this is not a game. Changing diapers is bad enough, I have no desire for my kid to use and then drive their poop and pee around on this toilet on wheels. We can’t get through an hour without someone spilling juice, let alone a dirty, full potty- Gross!
I’m Speechless
That’s right, with Poopy time fun shapes, you insert the applicator, and sit back and let the fun begin. You’re kids will love crapping hearts & stars! Because nothing will give them a positive bathroom experience like you shoving a plastic tube up their anus.
Are you in the trenches with me? How’s potty training going? Have any products that are worse than these? Do you own any of these? Leave me a comment!
I’m right there with you. I have a little 2.5 yr old boy. We’ve been slowwly transitioning for about a year..lol. But I swear I bough my last pack of 140 diapers this weekend. We’ve got a sticker book and we’re sicking to it
He gets so excited when he pee’s in the potty. But he also likes to play the game of “Jayden has to pee pee on the potty” when it’s time to go to bed, walk out the door, brush your teeth, etc” Even though we just went through the whole process and put his stickers on his chart. and of course i’m not going to say “No, Jayden, you can’t pee on the potty….this kid’s smart!
and obviously you can tell i’m exhausted from all the toddler games from all of the typos
I hope this was your last pack of diapers! Although, I know I’m no where near the end of this joyous adventure. The only thing getting me through this time is knowing it’s the LAST time for me! Hope your son has a potty break through soon…one day both of my boys (after MONTHS) just decided to start using the potty all the time…may your day be today!
Oh em gee. Good god I am horrified by the last product. How is that ok??! As for my experiences, I just let it ride with my daughter and I plan on doing the same with my son. My daughter decided on her own just before she turned 3 that she wanted to use the potty (after talking about it but no pressure for months) and it was never an issue. I kid you not, it was that easy. My son is 2.5 now and has no interest in actually peeing or pooping on the potty. He’ll sit there for as long as you want him to but nothing happens. And I just don’t care enough to push the issue. So we’ll see. I’m not guessing he’ll decide before he turns 3.
Good luck to you. The Elmo Potty Time video got my daughter excited about it so maybe try that?
The last product has to be the worst invention ever….and how did they even come up with that? What’s the inspiration- Play Doh Fun Factory? It’s POOP!
And I just let my oldest go then he was 3 1/2 and would pee on the potty and crap in a Pull Up. He’s big for his age too, so they were too small for him. So I went from letting it go to “Oh my God, you’ll have a driver’s license before you poop on the potty if this keeps up!” My younger son started a full year ahead of his brother….and the ONLY reason I’m starting this early with my daughter is because she showed interest. I hate this stage. I really, really do.
OMG!! I laughed at the plush turd and your comment about why lovie is a turd. The riding potty, I actually thought might help me. (lol You’re right! I’m desperate!!!) But the poop shooters…..I don’t know who came up with the idea, but they need their head(s) examined!!! Who would have thought to put Play-Dough parts up their kids’ behind and let them poop shapes? I just don’t get what’s wrong with people! lol
Can’t you just picture a little three year old running around in public with a plush turd?! Come on, people! How is this a good idea : ) And you must be desperate if the port-o-potty on wheels looks good- it’s how “they” get you! I’m happy the last one wasn’t appealing though- that’s when you know that you’ve lost it!!
ewww, the last one makes me want to vomit. WTF? Who ever thought this was a good idea?
Seriously, I think this has made me lose all hope in humankind. Holy shit. Seriously. WTF is right!
Ok, wait a minute…you stick it up your butt and stars come out? And then what do you do with it? Like is it dishwasher safe or something? I have a 2.5 year old boy, and although these size 26 diapers are getting a little embarassing, I am not sure I would be willing to try this, however, do they come in other colors than red?
Yeah, my oldest was practically in Depends by the time he finally started going on the potty. And I love that you buy the biggest pack of diapers for 60.00 and it comes with 14 diapers. gee, thanks.
As for the poop shapes, I can’t imagine my kids would let me try it (NOT that I EVER would)….They wouldn’t care if I said if I put this up your arse you’ll shit a real live unicorn. Plus, the mess must be astounding. Not to mention the tube looks small….and I would think you can damage their insides….and what if it was diarrhea? And where do you store it….there’s literally nothing good that can come from this. ever.
Wouldn’t D.H.S. consider If child abuse at shove a plastic toy in the bottom just at make poop shapes?
That last one can’t be a serious product, can it? If so, it’s creator should have some rod shoved up its ass and then told to poop and see how he feels.
It is real…I googled it in the hopes it was a joke….and it’s not….and I agree with you. This may be one of the seven signs that the end is nigh.
W.T.F….. that’s all I can say…. really how the hell are you supposed to shove a probe up a kids ass and do that. Horrified doesn’t even explain how I’m feeling right now. I feel really strange for even seeing that a product like that exists. Also the poop mobile is real great too. Like what a terrible collision that would be! I would have two boys covered in excriment if I owned that thing. You find the greatest products! Lol!
Ps. George won’t go on the potty either. We even play the “poop on the potty song” google that. Its a real treat! Lol!
Nothing about this seems like a good idea, right? Even if this was a magic poop rod that would make the most stubborn child potty trained, I still wouldn’t use it….ever. It is horrifying. I’ve had nightmares. YUCK!
And I’ll have to try the song- LOL Can’t wait!!
Hello:
The POTTY PARTY is a tried and true suggestion that should save any child from using shape-shitter (may I say that?) inserts. At it’s simplest, a “potty party” is bribery, body-mind-soul bribery. You can achieve this level of “positive reinforcement” in a few easy steps:
*Make simple fanfare like a large, colorful, joyful sign.
*Decorate your bathroom, and approach to the bathroom, with recognizable party items such as streamers, balloons, perhaps a red carpet for the approach?
*Place a large container of wrapped bribes, or “prizes”, where the child can see (but not necessarily reach)
*Make an huge, exuberant, enthusiastic deal of the child using the potty. Singing and dancing are encouraged.
*REWARD each success on the potty. Post hand-washing, allow your new potty-user to choose a prize from the container for this wonderful new skill. NOTE: Prizes should vary so they’re not predictable and, of course, shouldn’t break the bank. Each item should be wrapped separately. This way the prize container is full of different shapes and looks festive.
In our case, the “prizes” lasted for at least a week, but the training took TWO DAYS with no diapers or training pants at night. Late August will mark the two year anniversary; we’ve had three accidents in that time.
The potty party was an amazing success for my family. I am not alone. According to the neighbor who suggested the idea (I didn’t do my own research), it is a recommended method for older kids with developmental problems. I Hope it helps you or your other readers.
.
Kind Regards,
Amanda
PS: It’s late. Please accept my apologies for any typos
Amanda, THANK YOU for the suggestion. THIS is what I was hoping to find when googling “Potty Training” ideas….not the Poop Factory Shapes! I can’t wait to give this a try! Seems like something she’d enjoy too! And now I can stop looking…after that last item, I was afraid of what I might find.
A pleasure to share. Hope it’s a great partay!
Your blog is a pleasure. I’m thinking of starting one and am enjoying the research so much. Thank you for it.
Kind Regards,
Amanda
OMG! I am completely blown away by these!!!! Who comes up with that crap?
They literally are crappy products. I don’t even want to know!
Um, please tell me these are fake. I actually thought the last one was an ice lolly mold. Imagine coming to dinner at my house…:-)
LOL….I actually saw this on a website that claimed this could be used as a last resort….after some digging, I’m happy to report, I now believe they are fake….THANK GOD!
i don’t think i’ll ever be the same again after seeing those poop cookie cutters! WTF???
BTW I love your blog, you are hilarious!
Thanks so much! Glad you’re enjoying it! And I saw these products a little over a week ago…I was dying to do this post. Just the IDEA is enough to scar me for life!!
That was the funniest blog post I’ve ever read.
Thanks, Heather! Glad you enjoyed it
@ the poop-cutters: I am SPEECHLESS. I think that should be illegal.
If these are real, I agree! It seems like child abuse!
wow. that is aweful. you did not find my horrible potty training device. while not quite as bad as the shaped poop extruding dies…. but here it is:
http://www.sophiasstyle.com/teamson-children-s-bug-themed-potty-rocking-chair.html?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cse&utm_campaign=TEAMS-W-2334B&gdftrk=gdfV23099_a_7c918_a_7c2726_a_7cTEAMS_d_W_d_2334B
i received this as a baby shower gift. who the f*ck wants their kid to sit on a rocking chair and go to the bathroom?? and the little pan falls out just sitting there let alone when they are actually using it! this gift went straight into the closet, never to be seen again.
Makes you wonder about the people gifting these! The rocking chair, which is expensive too, is another AWFUL potty training item for sure! I’m glad you had enough sense not to use it! LOL Thanks for sharing!!
First off this is the funniest thing I have ever heard! 2nd I loved the whole comment about the turd luvie. LMAO!!!!
I wish you luck. My daughter is about to turn 2 but we are going to be making a big move here in a few months so I’m going to wait until we move before I start trying to really potty train her. Shes interested in it and goes on the potty sometimes but I’m not going to force the issue until after our move.
Glad you enjoyed it! And I’m telling you, if my kids had a plush poo, that would be their favorite can’t-live-or-sleep-or-travel-without-it toy. No thank you!!
The only reason we’re starting training with my daughter now is cause she’s interested. Otherwise, I would have waited! Good luck with your upcoming move and even more for the potty training! Hope both are smooth transitions!
I would like to buy a million of the poo dolls to keep in my car to throw at people who piss me off when I’m driving.
LMAO!
LOL! So they are good for something!
My first child is a boy and the summer he turned 2 years old I put him in training pants. We spent a lot of time outside in the yard and after a few times when he peed down his leg he started to tell me when he had to pee. The nice thing about boys is you can tell when they have to pee as their penis gets stiff. I didn’t use a potty, he peed directly into the toilet, I used to have him stand on my feet in front of the toilet or else he stood on a low stool. Bowel movements took a little longer but I made sure I put him on the toilet about 1/2 hour after a meal and that seemed to work.
My second child is a girl who was born in the winter, I waited until the summer after she was 2 and did the same thing again and she was trained in about 2 months. My third child is a girl and again she was trained in the summer after her 2nd. birthday. The third child is a girl and imagine my surprise when she told me when she was 20 months old she was “far too old for diapers and could use the toilet” which she proceeded to do and never had an accident. Toilet training wasn’t a big concern for me as I knew by the time they started school they would be trained. I never pushed it and it seemed to happen
I didn’t push with my oldest and that backfired…then my middle one started on his own, and now we’re only doing it this early with my daughter b/c she’s interested. All three of mine have been totally different,…but this is my least favorite stage for sure! I’m not pressing the issue with my daughter and hoping it just comes on it’s own. For now it’s more like potty time shenanigan and no potty progress, but it is what it is….
You can’t make this shit up…pun intended!
I’m dreading this phase. Mine is 17 months old and as you’ve probably read, isn’t even walking yet. So, I have very little hope in the vein of potty training. I’m sort of accepting she’ll be going to college in adult diapers.
Very punny
And don’t worry, a child being slow in one stage may not be an indication they’ll be any faster or slower in another. Joey walked at 10 months. He started pooping on the potty three months before he turned four. Maybe she’ll immediately start walking to the potty. She may surprise you!!
This was the funniest thing I’ve read in so long. The blog combined with the comments. I really was Laughing out Loud. I’ve had four kids and I think I wet myself laughing. First child-girl- started training sporadically at two-done totally by 2 1/2, with no setbacks. I thought toilet training was a breeze. *snort* Than my second child a boy- pee trained at two. Poop wasn’t happening until almost 5. That’s right folks. 5! Took him to his doc. She said it was normal and that no one talked about it. He would wear underwear and could hold it for days and days until he’d cry, I’d cave afraid of impaction and he’d get a pullup. Bribes, threats, toys, partys, rewards, positive reinforcement, cut the bottoms out of pull ups and sat him on the potty,NOTHING worked.Then I had his brother be born and told him thats it pal, I can’t lift you up you HAVE to go on the potty. I fed that kid a pound of grapes and pears daily. 6 days he held it. Belly distended, crying, shaking, with me in tears and feeling like a horrible parent, begging and pleading that he PLEASE just do it, he finally let it go. We had a party, called the relatives, gave him prewrapped awaited gifts, heaped praise on praise and that was it, it was done.
Now I have a 2 1/2 year old boy and a 16 month old girl who as it is becoming warm will start training together. I have no idea what is in store. I can totally relate with having a sore butt from sitting on the edge of the tub waiting, singing, reading, pleading, praising, encouraging and watching the kid fall asleep they sat so long. As desperate as I was and may become I can’t see that last product EVER being thought up and the fact that there is a market for that? I never even got to the suppository thing (suggested by his doc) as I think shoving something up their bum would terrify them and be a set back. Kids whose parents use that will be in counceling… That pee toy is sort of cute. Could be a drop of lemonade, maybe a little drop of sunshine. The poop one, well gahhhhh. Thanks for the laughs. I wish you *ahem* a shitload of success!
Sansoona- Thanks so much for your comment! I’m glad you enjoyed the post! First, you’re a brave, brave woman training two kids at once. Although if you can get two birds with one stone you’ll be one happy Mama, I’m sure! Sorry to hear about the troubles with getting the one to poop. Joey was almost four and I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter. I thought I was going to have three kids in diapers! And my trouble with my own son is part of what stresses me about the other two. Jake went well and I’m hoping Cecilia surprises me soon and just starts going.
Good luck to you this summer! I wish you a *ahem* shitload of success as well!! Thanks again for your comment!
ok, my dd of 4 was a complete nightmare. we did the stickers/rewarding with smarties (10 for a poo, 5 for a pee) everything! she constantly had accidents even though we put her on toilet every hour to “try”. when she turned 3 and half we found out that she had a major kidney infection! so realistically the dr. said she could have been developing that for over half a year (since we started potty training.) i felt so guilty had i pushed her too much? doc said no, but at the back of my head its still there. she then developed 3 months later a bladder infection…what the cause was from all the infections….she was constipated! doc said just cus she doesnt strain to push it out doesnt mean she cant be constipated. she now takes a laxative, and goes to physio to try and strengthen her muscles so she can go all night without a pullup. but what has really helped us the past 3 weeks is an app for my android smartphone. its from huggies i think. called i go potty. she loves it. it sets of an alarm (you can decide if every hour or 2) then she is allowed to touch the option i go potty and it plays a wee tune. at the end she clicks one of 3 options. i went potty, i tried but nothing and cant remember 3rd cus havent used it. if she cliks on i went potty she gets a fanfare and a “sticker”. she can clik on her progress and see all her stickers for one day. she absolutely loves this app!
Another reason I need a smart phone! that sounds like an awesome app! Especially as much as my kids like playing with my phone (which isn’t even that great!!).
Sorry to hear about your daughter’s troubles, but at least you have a doctor that was able to identify the issue! God knows that’s not always the case! Sounds like you handled it well though – like potty training isn’t hard enough as it is!
Thanks for your comment…and the app suggestion!
My son was a late talker, a late walker, and an EXTREMELY late potty trainee. My friends with boys said it would probably take until about age 3. At about 2 1/2 I would periodically put him on his cute little training potty to go pee and poop. You would think I had a live crocodile in the thing the way he reacted! So, he and I decided he would do it when he was 3. The day of his third birthday I reminded him of our agreement and put him on the potty. Another crocodile reaction. After trying a few more times after that, we agreed that when he turned 4 he would go in the toilet. On his fourth birthday . . . guess what? That darn crocodile showed up again. I decided this WAS a crock, went out and bought some of those thick, cotton, old-school, training pants. I put them on him, put plastic pants over them, and he was trained in one day. Why didn’t I try THAT two years before!
Don’t blame yourself! Hindsight is a real bitch! Always makes you feel bad! At least after all that time you had a quick solution!! There’s always a balance in the universe! And I may steal that idea (cause mini-diva would HATE that)!! thanks for your comment!
Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. Notice the Poopy Time Fun Shapes are only for ages 3 and up. By that time anything goes. And if they are going to ride around with their toilet on wheels while holding their plush poop wouldn’t it be prettier if the poop they spill on the floor is in the shape of hearts? If it looks pretty it’s no longer gross . . .
My daughter could be wearing Pull-ups under her wedding dress and I still wouldn’t try those. Maybe the poop plush though. I could threaten to make her carry it down the aisle if she doesn’t use the potty!
Ahhaha!!! Everything is better if it’s shaped like hearts & stars….even poop! I hear it makes it look like unicorn poop without the sparkles. And when all else fails, make embarrassing threats! Thanks for your comment!
I was really hoping the last product was a joke – and not a very good one either. But -OMG. As for the real issue, I resorted to a bribe. In our case it was a treasure chest of Barbie princess dresses. When it arrived I told her what she needed to do to get a dress, and it worked. The good news, in a few years you wont remember any of the drama, only the funny bits.
I can’t say for sure, but I think it’s a joke…God, i hope it’s a joke! And I love the trunk full of princess dresses. My daughter, despite having two older brothers, loves the dresses, shoes, and of course,princesses. Bribery only works when you use the right kind of bribe!
Thanks for the comment…and encouragement! I need it!
I wrote a potty training “guide” on my blog a while back. And my 3 boys were all easier than my girl.
http://minnesotamamma.blogspot.com/2008/09/potty-training-booty-camp.html
Really, the best advice is to wait until they’re ready. My daughter took NINE MONTHS to be done because I started her on MY schedule.
Tara I agree 100%!!! The kid needs to be ready to do it…and the ONLY reason i’m entertaining her bathroom shenanigans is becuase she’s showing interest. I hope interest turns into results soon though!
Thanks for your comment!
I did the desperate google search as well hoping for a small bit of enlightment, but no just a bunch a crappy products. The plush “pee” and “poop” dolls is about a low as it gets. Knowing my bundle of hellacious joy he would carry that little turd all over the place. The only solution to potty training that I discovered is lots of ripping out hairs and vodka martinis.
I’ll try to rip out the gray hairs…which coincidentally is caused by potty training (among other childhood phases). And the vodka martini sounds just like what the doctor ordered. In fact, just in case, I should probably have two.
I can’t even comment on that last product. I wish I could erase it from my mind, from the universe actually. I’m right behind you with the potty training. S is almost 21 months and is totally aware when she pees and poops. She will sit on the potty for a lark. Loves to dip her hands into the big bowl, unravel the tp, and even put the insert from her little potty on her head like a hat. She is not at all interested in going on the potty.
When it gets warm, I’m sending her outside naked and will invite her back in when she’s trained.
Yeah, we’re all play no business with the potty. I think you may be on to something with the outdoor toilet training though….we’ve got a little club house. I’ll leave some sippy cups and a big bowl of cherrios and we’ll see what happens.
p.s. I wish I could erase that image from my mind too. Real or not it’s terrible!
You could have been talking about my youngest son, Connor, when you were talking about Joey. We had many nights of sitting in the bathroom for hours waiting for him to poop. I mean, logically, he pooped in his diaper or pull-up every evening after dinner so I should be able to sit him down on the potty and the magic would happen. Yeah, NO! He held it. And screamed. And cried. Finally, it was bed time. This happened every night for what may have been years (actually about two weeks). As soon as we put him in the pull-up and put him in bed, you guessed it, he pooped. Then we went cold turkey no pull-ups (put the washable pad on the bed, no sheets, small blanket). My then 3 1/2 year old decided he was NOT going to poop at all, for a week. Called the pedi, did miralax and two hours later, we had a child who peed and pooped on the potty. The rest is history. I know how it feels to be a smart, educated person who feels defeated by a small child and potty training.
It’s good to know you’re not alone in this stuff. I mean, this is my third time around, but it feels like the first all over again. I’ve tried logic before too with no avail. And defeat? That’s commonplace these days! Thanks for your comment though! It’s always good to hear about others who made it out alive!
The poop chute? I’m horrified and busting a gut laughing all at the same time!
I have a 3yr old daughter who FINALLY figured it out. It took several tries and postponements. I didn’t start training until after baby sister arrived and after she turned 2. A year of false starts. Ugh. It took 3 very stinky poop diapers in one day to get me committed. I took that diaper off. She wanted it back on and I told her to put it on herself, which she couldn’t figure out, so she went nude. Then setting the timer every hour. One turd on the floor. Two wet spots on the carpet. A half dozen puddles on the tile. And we’re trained. She still wears a diaper to bed but it’s dry in the morning 9 times out of 10. The worst part is the 3am calls for potty assistance which we could all do without. But, hey. At least I’m down to only one in diapers. During the day anyway.
I’ve only started since she’s interested…and I have a sneaking suspicion we’ll be in for many more months of false starts too….and my three year old is still calling at night for assistance too (usually 4am-6am). It’s a great way to start your day!
I have learned from my kids, three trained and one to go, that they enjoy shitting and peeing in the house, their pants, and the car. So, I spend more time teaching them to find clean clothes, locate the dirty laundry bin, and use common household cleaners, than I do trying to get them to crap on the pot. They are slow learners.
This is how my first two experiences went. This is why my third time is such a charm. I think I’m a slow learner too.
I’m right there with you. It took me over 8 months to potty train my now 3 year old son. I felt horrible. Like I was really failing him as a mother because he just refused to get the hang of it. I am now in the process of potty training my 26 month old daughter and she is as stubborn as a mule. She’ll sit on the potty for what seems like forever and you’ll think she’ll either pee or poop but NOPE she just sits there. Then once I get her up she tells me she needs a diaper and THEN she pees or poops. I’m at my wits end. You’re definitely not in this struggle alone. I am right there with you and definitely will be following to see what solutions you find.
I wish you luck in your potty training journey, cause I know I’m not even close to being at the end of mine…and I’m right there with you…my daughter sits and sits and sits some more…then the diaper finally goes on and then she goes. this happens all day long….so hang in there- hopefully you’ll be coming soon to the end of it!
All of you moms complaining about your 2-year-olds not yet using the potty, this is for you. My boy is 3 months shy of turning 4 and he will do ANYTHING to keep from going in the potty. We’ve had more stubborn vs. stubborn matches than I care to recount and he always wins. He’ll sit on that damn potty for hours and pee or poop the second a diaper is back on him. Or I’ll finally let him off the potty and he’ll just pee on the floor where he’s standing. Potty training = nightmare!
http://www.toulouseandtonic.com
(see “How to sabotage the 3 day potty training method in 2 days or less”)
Hell yeah, it is a nightmare. A nightmare that lasts for some for days (I wish), months (in my dreams) and years for others (me). My oldest, who currently holds the title for being the “most difficult” to train, was also (and is still) stubborn. In my mind, pooping on the potty was the last thing he controlled. It irritates him that he is the boss of no one. Whatever the reason, perhaps I’m being punished, potty training is shitty, shitty business. Forget positive rewards for the kids, I’m throwing myself a party when the third one is done!!
Oh my god that is disgusting. Why would you want your crap in different shapes, who cleans that shit?? I’m assuming this has to be a terrible joke.
Good luck on your potty training, I wish I had advance beyond the whole reward system. It worked for us, but my son is very motivated by gifts!
I say if the reward system works- go.for.it. Unfortunately, no system works for my kids…at least not right away or consistently. *Sigh*
And seriously, I’m still not sure if this is real or not. I thought for sure it was one of the signs of the Apocalypse if it’s real!!
WTF? what is all that crap? first of all, you CRACK me up! you are sooo funny, but this potty training stuff is nuts!
Boys are NOT easy to train in any aspect of life. I have 3 boys, 9,6,4. my 9 yo (let’s call him #1) should be potty trained, right? He doesn’t have any developmental delays, isn’t missing any limbs, has never had a stroke. He should know when AND where to take a dump. About a month ago, my smother was visiting. I was in bed with a ‘migraine’ (I can’t imagine why) and i heard her arguing with #1.Then he came upstairs and asked if he could lay down with me and I asked him about his discussion with my mom.
#1: “Um, well, I was outside and I couldn’t control myself and i pooped”
Me: “You POOPED in your pants?”
#1: “Oh, no. I pulled my pants down.”
Me: “WHAT? You pooped in the yard?”
#1: “Oh, no. I pooped on the sidewalk.”
me: “go to bed”
then I go to talk to my mom …
me:”what happened”
mom:”I was outside and i stepped in dog shit but i was on the front sidewalk where the dog can’t go. So I smelled my shoe and I thought that doesn’t smell like dog shit. I came in and said ‘who pooped on the sidewalk?’ and #2 & #3 said #1! WE SAW HIM DO IT!”
Then the next day while i wasnt home, my mom made #1 clean the poop from the sidewalk with the special brush my husband uses to clean the chrome wheels on his BMW Z3 M Roadster.
Now isn’t that some shit. I had to clean underwear, my mom’s shoe, the sidewalk, buy a new brush, listen to my mom bitch about how i can’t raise my kids right and listen to my husband bitch about what a pain in the ass my mom is.
I feel your potty training pain. unfortunately it never goes away!
this was my toilet training blog post …
http://guesswhathappened2day.blogspot.com/2010/03/and-now-i-need-new-rubber-gloves.html
best of luck to you!
kj
This is seriously the funniest thing I have ever read in my life. FWIW, it sucks that it happened… but seriously – you NEED this story in your life! What a riot!
When it gets warm, I’m sending her outside naked and will invite her back in when she’s trained.
this shall be my approach now! thank you.
OMFG! The poop shapes? Are you kidding me? I am so grossed out now it isn’t even funny. The inventers of that should be burned at the stake!
If it makes you feel better, my oldest didn’t drop a dues in the potty until after her 4th birthday…and that was just last month! My second just turned 1 and I’m hoping it goes smoother the second time around!
I liked your blog. the i couldn’t believe the potty training “ideas” you found. the last one is disgusting by far. my son is 2.5 he’ll be 3 here in November. we’ve had an open door policy with him. unless it was pooping then he usually came in the bathroom with me unless i was home by my self. and we’ve never pressed the issue of potty training. figured once he was ready we’d start. he was about 1.5 i think when he started showing signs. like wanting to wash his hand, and flushing to toilet. and then at one point trying to help me wipe my self. then this past Easter i decided to buy a potty for him. after a month or so i finally decided to start having him use it. all’s i did was let him run around naked.
he only had a couple of accidents while being naked, but he soon learned when he had to pee. then my sister was down one time and she got him to poop on the potty. took him a little long to poop on the potty. and since i was at the time of starting to train him i was a working mother. so he wouldn’t be naked unless i was home. and then he father was home for a few days and actually had him naked as well. and he decided to poop on the potty while he was home.
he not poops and pee’s on the toilet because one day he decided he wanted to pee on it and has been ever since. while naked he is fully trained. being naked. when he is in a diaper or pull he’ll still go in there but has at times showed when he need to use the toilet but either hitting him self in the front area for having to go pee or patting his butt for poop. i’m also expecting another child in nov. so i am hoping he’ll be fully day trained out of diapers before he is 3 and baby comes. i decided to buy big boy underwear and just going to put him in those during the day hoping he’ll learn to pull them down and off because of the way he sits on the toliet. as for being trained at night that is going to take a while yet.
my mom told me with my brother that he was trained and understood the thing. he just was sorta lazy because he was in pull up and just used them like diapers, then one summer he was at his dad and came back fully trained. so i say it all depends on the child and if they are ready or not. hope all works well for ya. sorry for the long post.
i should point out that if i was home by my self even while pooping i left the door open. and that i never let him help me wipe my self..
i do how ever still have the open door policy. and hes kinda funny now. lol if i’m using the bathroom he’ll ask me if i’m going poop and if i say yes he’ll attempt to look and then go ew yukie.
This has got to be one of the funniest blogs I have ever read. I was drinking my coffee and now I have sprayed the entire table (well almost) with coffee laughing and choking over this post. I potty trained two stubborn boys and YES it was a real trial. The day my 2 year old took off his cloth diaper and said, “Here mom, flush my poops” I knew he was smart enough to train….it took 10 days from start to finish, but it was a fiasco! I can sooo relate. Thanks for the great post, I shared it with my friends.
I’m amazed that some people don’t get that the Poopy Time Shapes is a joke. Let’s be frank here: turds are formed by the anus and no enema or insertable device is going to affect their shape.
But – coming from a family cursed with constant constipation, I always say when this joke gets revived – if pediatric enemas were packaged like this would it make them seem less threatening to the kids?
Rougier have a “child-friendly” package for glycerin suppositories.
[...] Holy Crap. [...]
And people wonder why I don’t have children….
As a follow up to my previous statement, I love my nieces and nephews dearly and would do anything in the world for them. I particularly love to spoil them beyond belief…and then send them home. To their friends, I am that “crazy aunt” who lets them do anything they want while under my care. (As long as it doesn’t result in blood, tears or a visit from our local law enforcement.) To my nieces and nephews, I am a god!
Laughed so hard I’m crying reading this! My third kid is 2 now and does not like the potty. My oldest is 10. I actually took my moms advice on potty training. “Theyre not going to go to college in diapers.” Meaning they’ll do it eventually, when they’re ready. It’s true, my other two have been potty trained for years.
So I’m not pushing it with this one.
That was my problem with my youngest – I saw the light at the end of the tunnel and tried to push the potty too soon. The result? An epic battle of wills which I lost (has anyone ever won a battle of wills with a toddler?)…All my kids are born in July, each two years apart, so the 6 years of consecutive potty training blinded me from what I should have done…and granted, it did happen – a full 14 months after I wrote this post though!
oh my god. I am more skeeved out than ever to start potty training the twins. I can’t believe some department of child services doesn’t hunt down that anal probe company and shut them down!
I didn’t have a horrible time training the first kid – but she was my only at the time and she was going to full-day preschool and *they* did a lot of the work.
I am home all day with the twins and I just can’t bring myself to get started. We brought out the little potties and I spent all day for 4 days in a row gathering up all the pieces of the potties and putting them back together and explaining over and over what the potties were for – NOT storage for toys, NOT an extra cup to pour cereal back and forth with your bowl, NOT for eating out of or standing in! The little potties are now locked up in the bathrooms they have no access to because every time they go in there it’s “water fun” in the toilet. Which is funny when The Hubs has to clean it up -but still gross.
I just can’t do it yet – and they will be 3 in March!