Well, after the Horrible Holiday Gift Guide and Bad Mother’s Day Gifts, it seems only fitting that I found some equally awful gifts for the Dads in your life. This, of course, is especially true if you actually received any of the products from either of those lists. So if you’re looking to get back at someone, want to show someone how little you care, or are perhaps looking for gifts to avoid, please enjoy the following:
1. Kleen Stride Shoes. Did some jerk buy you Mop Slippers from the Mother’s Day Gift Guide? Well, here’s the male version of those shoes! Have him do some sweeping of his own and apparently there is even an attachable plow. Purchase on Amazon for under $10!
2. Head Spa. Just like Mom deserved something more than a serial killer “rejuvenating” face mask, Dad should get something better than this too. The head spa is, well, ridiculous. If Dad deserves a massage, you can probably get one at a nice spa for the same cost as this poorly rated item. Plus you’ll save him from looking like a tool, unless that’s you’re goal, and if so, purchase here on Amazon.
3. Flair Hair Visors, Bandanas, and accessories. Is Dad suffering from hair loss? Or should I say, are you suffering from your favorite Dad’s hair loss? Do you miss his lush locks? Do you love visors and bandanas? Well, allow me the great pleasure of introducing the Flair Hair Visor and Bandana. Now Dad (and you) can enjoy thick, natural looking hair in the latest styles (as seen in The Jersey Shore). Purchase right from the Flair Hair website.
4. Sex for Dummies book. Okay, buy this book for the father of your children and you’re just a bitch (especially as a Father’s Day gift)…but you got balls if you do! This may, however, make a great gift for your ex.
5. Beer Belt. For Dads who love beer and hate getting up to get a refill. This fashionable belt holds bottle OR cans. Bonus!
6. Chest Hair Toupee. There’s just something about a hairy man that drive (some) women wild. But what if the father of your children is one of those hairless varieties? Should you rub his chest with hair growth creams? Maybe, but that could get expensive. Try the Chest Hair Toupee…can also be applied to backs (if you’re into it).
7. Wiener Roasters. Maybe I’m being presumptuous, but I don’t think Dads are gonna dig this one. Personally, I think it’s funny, but I can’t picture my husband firing up the grill and roasting some wieners on these grill accessories (UPDATE: Thanks to Toni R who found a web address to purchase these http://www.roastmyweenie.com/Roast_Your_Weenie/home.html):
8. Denim Underwear. Thank you(?) Jezebel for bringing this gem to my attention. Maybe instead of the “Sex for Dummies” book you can spice up your love life with a pair of these…and why not? Men buy women lingerie all the time! Or maybe the father of your children likes to go commando in jeans. OR maybe you can’t afford a vasectomy and you’re tired of the man fathering children with you. These denim wonders are sperm killers fo’ sho!
9. A little privacy please! Dads need some privacy too, and just like Mom, this is not what they are talking about. At least I hope it’s not…but if it is, apparently it comes with a matching hoodie- cool!
10. The Sweat Heart Sweet Shirt. You love the father of your children and you just can’t stand to be apart. Well, snuggle up with your sweetie in the sweat shirt built for two! How romantic! Dad.will.love.it.
I hope this list will inspire some fabulous gifts for Dads this year. I know it’s a little early, we still have a few weeks left, but women (unlike men) tend to shop early. I didn’t want any of you to miss out on these unique gifts!
What do you think? What are you getting Dad this year? Leave me a comment, I love hearing from you!