10 Bad Father’s Day Gifts

Well, after the Horrible Holiday Gift Guide and Bad Mother’s Day Gifts, it seems only fitting that I found some equally awful gifts for the Dads in your life.  This, of course, is especially true if you actually received any of the products from either of those lists.  So if you’re looking to get back at someone, want to show someone how little you care, or are perhaps looking for gifts to avoid, please enjoy the following:

1. Kleen Stride Shoes. Did some jerk buy you Mop Slippers from the Mother’s Day Gift Guide?  Well, here’s the male version of those shoes! Have him do some sweeping of his own and apparently there is even an attachable plow.  Purchase on Amazon for under $10!

Kleen Stride Shoes for the douche Dad that bought you “Mop Slippers” for Mother’s Day

2. Head Spa. Just like Mom deserved something more than a serial killer “rejuvenating” face mask, Dad should get something better than this too.  The head spa is, well, ridiculous.  If Dad deserves a massage, you can probably get one at a nice spa for the same cost as this poorly rated item. Plus you’ll save him from looking like a tool, unless that’s you’re goal, and if so, purchase here on Amazon.

Dad looks so relaxed in his new Head Spa.

3. Flair Hair Visors, Bandanas, and accessories. Is Dad suffering from hair loss?  Or should I say, are you suffering from your favorite Dad’s hair loss?  Do you miss his lush locks?  Do you love visors and bandanas? Well, allow me the great pleasure of introducing the Flair Hair Visor and Bandana. Now Dad (and you) can enjoy thick, natural looking hair in the latest styles (as seen in The Jersey Shore). Purchase right from the Flair Hair website.

Looking good, Dad!

Hell yeah, Dad! America!

4. Sex for Dummies book. Okay, buy this book for the father of your children and you’re just a bitch (especially as a Father’s Day gift)…but you got balls if you do!  This may, however, make a great gift for your ex.

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

5.  Beer Belt. For Dads who love beer and hate getting up to get a refill.  This fashionable belt holds bottle OR cans. Bonus!

Stylish and convienent.

6.  Chest Hair Toupee. There’s just something about a hairy man that drive (some) women wild.  But what if the father of your children is one of those hairless varieties?  Should you rub his chest with hair growth creams?  Maybe, but that could get expensive.  Try the Chest Hair Toupee…can also be applied to backs (if you’re into it).

“Yeah, baby!” said in my best Austin Powers voice.

7.  Wiener Roasters. Maybe I’m being presumptuous, but I don’t think Dads are gonna dig this one.  Personally, I think it’s funny, but I can’t picture my husband firing up the grill and roasting some wieners on these grill accessories (UPDATE: Thanks to Toni R who found a web address to purchase these http://www.roastmyweenie.com/Roast_Your_Weenie/home.html):

Cooks wieners to perfection

8.  Denim Underwear. Thank you(?) Jezebel for bringing this gem to my attention.  Maybe instead of the “Sex for Dummies” book you can spice up your love life with a pair of these…and why not? Men buy women lingerie all the time!  Or maybe the father of your children likes to go commando in jeans. OR maybe you can’t afford a vasectomy and you’re tired of the man fathering children with you. These denim wonders are sperm killers fo’ sho!

Nothing says sexy like denim boy short underwear. Nothing…

9.  A little privacy please! Dads need some privacy too, and just like Mom, this is not what they are talking about. At least I hope it’s not…but if it is, apparently it comes with a matching hoodie- cool!

Top Secret.

10.  The Sweat Heart Sweet Shirt. You love the father of your children and you just can’t stand to be apart.  Well, snuggle up with your sweetie in the sweat shirt built for two!  How romantic!  Dad.will.love.it.

For the romantic Dad…or the Siamese Twin Dad…either one.

I hope this list will inspire some fabulous gifts for Dads this year.  I know it’s a little early, we still have a few weeks left, but women (unlike men) tend to shop early.  I didn’t want any of you to miss out on these unique gifts!

For more bad gifts check out the Bad Father’s Day Gifts from 2012 & 2013 - or all the terribly awesome bad gift lists.

What do you think?  What are you getting Dad this year?  Leave me a comment, I love hearing from you!

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Comments

  1. says

    I’ve got to say though, #8 would be perfect for Never-Nudes like Tobias Funke.

    Wow. Those are some spectacularly horrible gifts.

    • says

      I saw #8 on Jezebel yesterday and I had already jotted a few of these down. The denim undies were the inspiration to get the list done. They are just begging to be shared :)

      Glad you enjoyed the list! Thanks for the comment!

  2. Danielle says

    Alright, so my husband was sitting next to me checking out the list, and he thinks the head spa looks cool…HELP ME!! Needless to say my gifts are usually either extremely practical or extremely irritating why in the world would you get me that type of gifts.

    • says

      LOL…well, If you choose the latter, this list could help…as far as your husband and the head spa goes, as indicated, you can help him not look like a tool, or for your personal amusement buy it and take his picture!

  3. says

    Thanks for the laughs. I so agree with you on the BBQ accessory. I found it hilarious, but there is no way hubby would be using them. LOL – love your list.

    • says

      Thanks, Rhonda! I found the BBQ thing last summer and loved it! i might have to get one…the hotdogs appear to be cooked just right! Thanks for the comment!

  4. Alicia Chandler says

    OMG! Laughing my butt off! Every time I’m hurtin’ and in a bad mood, I’ve just gotta head over here to get some guaranteed laughs!!! Thank you for never disappointing!!! :)

  5. says

    Omg I just spit coffee all over the table laughing so hard. I personally loved the BBQ thing. And oddly did the bf. ( is there something he isn’t telling me, jk) we are big practical jokers in our house. I think the best worst list ever. Thanks for the laugh.

    • says

      Sorry about the coffee, but glad you and your bf enjoyed the list! Sharing a good sense of humor is key! These gifts can make great birthday and holiday items too!

  6. GrandeMocha says

    I want the Wiener Roasters. I can’t believe you don’t have a link. :) I found this list on Twitter thanks to @Jillsmo. Very funny!

    • says

      I’ll see if I can find it….I saw these last 4th of July and saved them for a rainy post. They were perfect here, at least i thought so! And @Jillsmo is one of my favorites (I don’t know if I’m supposed to have faves, but she’s one. Seriously awesome!). Thanks for the comment, glad you enjoyed the post!

  7. says

    Ok, seriously? The chest hair and bulging jean underwear are making me gag. At the same time? I am digging out my credit card because I MUST have them. I’m so conflicted.

    • says

      Several people have mistaken the chest hair for a merkin, and of course, as mentioned you can use it on backs too, so it really is very versatile. The denim underwear left me a little speechless. You know how rarely that happens. But i do know what you mean….and they’re available on the market, so I’m sure the people selling this junk are hoping for that kind of feeling too.

  8. Heather says

    Doh! The name of #10 alone awful! It’s the “SWEAT-heart SWEET-shirt”. That’s just lame! (Is it bad I actually had to read it 2 or 3 times to be sure I was spelling sweat & sweet right???)

    Also, showed the hubby the weiner roaster and he thinks it pretty awesome, too!

    Heather

    • says

      Heather, isn’t #10 THE worst!!! Come on! When the hell would that EVER be a good idea?? AND $80! They’ve got to be kidding, right?? I am a fan of the wiener roasters though!

  9. Tiffany H says

    IS it wrong that I really would buy the Kleen Stride Shoes for my hubby, he’s a landscaper so dirty shoes come with him. And he “thinks” he’s king of the grill so he’d get a kick outta the Weiner Roasters that’s too funny!! Thanks for my morning laugh!

    • says

      Thanks for reading and for the votes (seriously, I really appreciate it!)…and you don’t get a confirmation or anything when you vote, just click on the Top Mommy Blogs button and that’s it. You can vote once every 24 hours! Again, thank you!! :)

  10. megan says

    the weiner roasters are hysterical! i want to buy them just because they are ridiculous!

  11. Rae says

    The weenie roasters are the best! I think I’ll make him watch me eat one right from the roaster!!

  12. brandon says

    As a father I can tell you I would wear the beer belt when the kids went to bed every night I had off!

  13. Rose says

    hehehe my husband actually has the fake hair and visor thing. His mother bought it for his birthday a couple years ago. She can’t stand that is he mostly bald and then shaves the rest of it…

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