Welcome to the unofficial start of summer. I, and thousands of my fellow beach lovers, took to the roads Friday and headed down to the shore. Although the drive for me is only around 70 minutes, I bore witness to multiple driving offenses on our way south. I was actually ready to kiss the ground by the time we pulled into the driveway.
Yesterday the brief five minute commute to the beach was again stressful and the language coming from my husband was rather colorful. Then, on the way home, less than a mile from the house we were almost hit by FIVE rolling tractor tires that seemed to come from nowhere. After a few seconds we realized some idiot had these huge tires unsecured in the back of a pickup truck and they all rolled out at once while he was driving. Thankfully, my husband was able to stop as they rolled across the road and into someone’s yard. If we had come around the corner just a few seconds later we surely would have been in a serious accident. I was so pissed I called the police.
So as we kick off the unofficial start of summer with my Delaware roads swarming with out of state drivers, and I narrowly avoided quite a few accidents this weekend already, I’d like to repost some old tips and some new ones in a letter I wrote to our visiting drivers who evidently have a different set of driving laws where ever it is that they hail from:
Dear Non-Delaware Driver:
Welcome to our Small Wonder! We aren’t quite the smallest (thanks Rhode Island!), but don’t let our size fool you; we’ve got plenty of attractions that we know you’ll enjoy! Come do some fabulous tax-free shopping at some of our malls and shopping outlets, visit Dover Downs for some Nascar Races, take your chances at our slots and casinos, watch a minor league baseball game, go to the zoo, and perhaps most popular of all, take a trip to southern Delaware and relax and unwind on our beautiful beaches!
Due to our small size, you can even enjoy some of our northern and southern attractions in the same day! Route 1, which is primarily a freeway, runs through all three counties and takes you from north to south in as little as an hour and a half. We are happy to have you visit our state, but do ask that you follow Delaware State Driving Laws while you are here.
For example, here in Delaware, the left lane is for passing, and as the posted signs clearly state in English all along the roadway, slower traffic should remain in the right lanes. It is not okay to drive 15 mph under the speed limit or drive the same speed as the car next to you. Pass the other car or get over; you are causing a significant traffic jam (I’m talking to you Maryland!). Additionally, when you are not utilizing the left lane for passing please stay in the right lane to allow faster vehicles to pass you. This is nothing personal, they may just want to reach their destination before Labor Day. You may also find this would be an appropriate time to use your automobile’s cruise control feature. It is not appropriate to pass someone going 80mph, then to have them pass you minutes later while you are going 60 mph (in the left lane), and then repeat this process several times. If you then see the person at a gas station, do not say, “You again!” and laugh or you might have to listen to a driving lesson and cruise control tutorial at a gas pump. No, I’m not laughing, and yes, I am talking to you, New Jersey!
Here in Delaware we also advise that if you feel the need to pull off the road for any reason, that you pull as far off as possible, and then when re-entering the road, utilize your turn signals and wait for traffic to clear. New York, it is not appropriate for you to pull into traffic moving 65 mph+ without a turn signal and without warning. You may not have realized this, but we all have the right away. You have the right to kiss my …
We also kindly ask that you refrain from reversing down the highway. Should you miss your exit, Pennsylvania, please use the next exit to turn around head the appropriate direction with the flow of traffic. You may find that reading our clearly marked and strategically placed road signs will help you navigate safely and efficiently to your destination.
Lastly, just this weekend we’ve observed the following and ask that you please immediately not do the following while driving here in Delaware:
- For the love of God, please do not make a U-Turn over concrete medians in the middle of the highway a quarter mile from the nearest light. Traffic on the other side of the road does maintain the right of way in this situation and the people driving 40 mph behind you will not be anticipating this type of jackassery and may run into you as well.
- Please do not seat passengers on lawn chairs in the back of your pickup truck and drive around. We welcome you, West Virginia, but would prefer not to scrape you off our pavements.
- There is no need to drive in a Serpentine Pattern in holiday beach traffic without turn signals. No one is shooting at you and no one is getting anywhere fast.
- If you observe a large red octagon with the words “Stop” it means just that. It is not opposite day, ever.
So there you have it, just a few differences we’d like to point out so that we can all enjoy a safe and happy holiday. We hope you shop at our stores, enjoy our beaches, and remember we’re now a “hands-free” state (so put the cell phones down)! While you are here, just make sure you buckle up too (it’s the law) and we also request you remove your head from your ass before operating a motor vehicle.
Thank you in advance for your ongoing cooperation.
Gratefully yours,
Delaware Drivers
*All opinions here are my own and do not actually represent all Delaware Drivers (although I bet most would agree). The bad driving examples were real and have been witnessed by me of actual people driving with said state license plates, however, they are generalizations and I do not think that all drivers from those states are “bad” or totally inept…except maybe New Jersey. Just kidding….kind of.
I hope you’re all having a safe, happy and healthy holiday weekend and please don’t forget to honor and remember those who serve our country, especially those who have made the ultimate sacrifice, this Memorial Day!
So what are some of your driving pet peeves? See any horrible holiday driving this weekend? If you enjoyed the post and you’re happy I lived to tell the tale (no thanks to the Maryland driver hauling the tractor tires) then please give me a quick vote on Top Mommy Blogs by clicking the link below, and leave me a comment too! I’d love to hear from you:
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As a fellow Delawarean, I could have written this myself! Though I do have to say, that lawn chair thing, I think I’ve seen some Lower Slowers pull that trick. But I will assume they are transplants from Rising Sun.
Have a great holiday weekend!
LOL! I actually assumed they were locals until I looked at the tag! For this post, I decided to try to stick to just offending people outside of the state and not breaking it down by counties too (I grew up in NCCO and live in Kent now).
Thanks for your comment & have a great weekend as well!
One summer I saw five (FIVE!) separate incidents of Pennsylvania drivers driving the wrong way on roads between Rehoboth and Ocean City. And I don’t mean that they were backing up. They were headed the wrong way on the road.
The sad thing is that I’m sure that’s NOT an exaggeration.
It’s an adventure to drive down here from May-September.
Hope you have a safe holiday! And I hope you don’t have a repeat of that summer!
Oh boy, I need to write one of those for all the people visiting Nebraska this summer!
Oh, wait…
lol….I don’t know; if there aren’t a lot of tourists, that sounds pretty nice to me. In fact, I think I need to be in a less populated area in general.
Minnesotans have no ability to merge. It’s like some weird thing that maybe they don’t teach in driver’s ed? Or maybe they do teach it along the lines of “when reaching a merge sign, please make sure to go 20 miles slower than the roadway you are entering. Put on your blinker (you know, in case the people don’t realize you are going into the ONLY LANE available for you) and then ride the access lane as long as humanly possible before jerking into the lane to your left. Take at least 3 miles to get up to highway speed.”
Stephanie, I should do a separate post on Delaware drivers (just to be fair)….people in Delaware have two issues that drive (no pun intended) me crazy….most cannot merge and many have a real issue yielding. We have a few spots where there are multiple yield signs posted on either side of the road (almost in an attempt to say “You need to yield here…pretty please?”) and yet they blow right through it into traffic that has the right of way. And since we seem to be in a perpetual state of road construction, I can tell you that the merge is something that makes me cringe.
Something that we have in common with Minnesotans!
I’ve only lived in Charlotte for 2 years and for the first year, I thought Charlotteans (they call themselves that. Pronounced Charlotte- EONS) liked to decorate each and every one of their four way intersections with colorful broken glass and plastic. It was a conclusion based on the fact that every intersection has this “decor” all day long, every day.
Since then I’ve realized that Charlotte just can’t clean up fast enough from every accident on each of these corners. The minute they clean up from one accident? BOOM BASH SLAM (Those are my accident sounds…also my “Drummer” sounds. Don’t ask…I’m a wannabe) there is another one!
I wonder if it’s Charlotte of if it’s just the state of the world today with everyone being so distracted…listening to music, texting, calling, eating, applying make-up, and whatever else they are trying to do all while driving a car.
Personally, I would NEVER do more than like 4 things at a time while operating a vehicle. You HAVE to know your limits! And yes, I’m totally driving right now.
I think I draw the line at shaving. Well, at least shaving your lady ha-ha while driving. Did you see that news article? Imagine the cops surprise when he pulled this lunatic over and she was shaving her pubes. Besides the fact that it’s not safe, what’s she doing with the hair?? And shaving lady parts with no shaving cream or water?? I can’t even think about it. Come to think of it, that lady may have been from Charlotte…
Sue, I thought Delaware was bad with out of state drivers, but Florida…I’m surprised the state don’t require driving with helmets and pillows taped to your car with duct tape lol .Going on US19 is like a rat race..you have to be alert,alert,alert….I was going down the road and a motorcycle was attempting to make a u turn in the media strip and came to a complete stop, the guy in front of me decides at 55 mph to make a complete stop…I wasn’t even following close to him and came within inches of hitting him…you know that feeling you get when something almost happens, when it’s over your body goes into shake mode and you look up in the sky and whisper to god…THANK YOU..it funny..whenever I pass that sight..it still sends shivers down my spine..
Some days I think we need the pillows and helmets too! But I have been a passenger in a car while in Florida and that was enough for me…our cab driver was doing 90 mph in Miami and I kept saying, “We’re not in a hurry” and blessing myself! Be safe, kelly!!
Remember… in the USA the left lane is simply the left lane.
Most Americans have NO idea that there is actually a designated fast or slow side of the road!
For a real take your breath away experience, come visit Florida and try driving with the near dead on the roadways!
Mary, I think I’ll pass! I’ve been to Orlando and Miami and it was crazy down there! It was bad enough taking a taxi in Miami, I don’t think I’d be able to deal with driving with what appeared to be a mix of crazy people and the elderly!! Be safe down there!
The beach seems to be a popular theme this week! I just posted something about my beach adventures too! Great post!! very funny
Wow! You hade Divine protection missing those tires! It is really quite freaky to go out for longer drives in heavy traffic. There are just so many drivers out there who should just stay home or take a bus. Thanks for this post
True Story!!! Love it.You hit the nail on the head for each State. Hallulooya
You totally hit the nail on the head with ALL the drivers. Hilarious!! I’m linking it up to my Sunday Stars post and sharing on Twitter and Facebook. I live in Bethany Beach and get to experience the awesomeness of the touron drivers {as my hubby likes to call them} frequently. Love, love, love this post. Thanks for making me laugh!
I’m sure that you can appreciate this much, much more than I can!! Thanks so much for sharing & I’m glad that you enjoyed it (although I’m sorry you can relate!)
I have to show this post to my husband. He’ll love it!
You must be local
Hope he likes it!