Jun 112011
The truth hurts. This is especially try when the truths I speak of are about what my body is now like after three kids and rapidly closing in on my 33rd birthday. Sure I could exercise, but I could also just as easily sit on my couch whining about my girth while shoveling down a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream. In most cases you get out of it what you give, and I’m okay with where I’m at…that doesn’t mean I don’t have a whole lot of room for improvement, or that I can ignore the truth about what’s happened to my body.
Here are some of my inevitable body truths as they stand today:
- No matter how hard you try, you cannot suck in “back fat”
- Driving in the car with the windows down and my arm up may result in severe under arm skin flapping (similar to that of a large gummed dog with his head out the window of a moving car).
- My boobs look like they belong in National Geographic.
- Due to the sheer size of my thighs, running in corduroy pants is not advised. This may result in sparking and unintentional fires.
- Muffin Top. Get used to it.
- Forget college funds, I need to start putting money into a Laser Hair Removal Fund. Either that or begin tweezing my eyebrows twice a day and hope that Tom Selleck Mustaches come into fashion soon…for women.
- I wish I could go back in time and kick my twenty year old self right out of the tanning bed. Instead I’m left applying creams, doing facial exercises, and considering pawning some jewelry to pay for Botox.
- With my hair’s natural tendency to form an afro, and now the number of gray hairs sprouting up, I am beginning to resemble Don King from a distance.
- Many areas now have the consistency of Jell-O
- Due to fat deposits, cellulite, and some random broken veins, shorts have been removed from my wardrobe. Capri or cropped pants are now a more flattering choice of attire, and they also do not tend to give me a front wedgie which forms when my thighs try to swallow the front of my shorts.
- Laughing, coughing or sneezing may result in peeing your pants
Have you noticed any changes since getting older and/or having kids? What inevitable truths are you living with? Leave me a comment!
uhh… I’m just going to stay in denial.
lol…A perfectly acceptable strategy. This isn’t for everyone
I’m with Jennifer… live in denial.
It’s a sad part of aging… *sigh*
I’m not judging….I just have to many to ignore. So I figure, the hell with it, I’ll post it on the internets!
HAHAHA! Perfect! I am trying to think of any to add, but let’s just say, the “front wedgie” almost had me peeing my pants. I have National Geographic boobs too! In fact, I am thinking about posting a pic of me where my right boob looks like it just might swallow my face because I am upside down on a slide. My friend said, “Sexy Mama” when she texted me the pic. I texted her back, “more like National Geographic than pornographic, don’t you think?” She tactfully failed to comment back.
LOL…true friend! And yeah the front wedgie is also what I call, “When thighs attack” …poor shorts never see ‘em coming. Just walking along and *Wham* swallowed whole by my thunderous thighs!
The only thing I can add is – when I lie down flat my boobs end up going into my armpits and when I roll over they make a clapping sound! Sexy!
Awesome! I suffer from this too! I call them my magic disappearing boobs….now you see them (raises arms) …now you don’t! Ta-da!
OMG I’m giggling so bad I peed a little! For every year older I get, my pants get an inch shorter. I’m at capri’s now. I’d better let my 86 year old Mom know now that I’ll be taking her polyester stretch pant hand-me-downs.
And if I turn my head too fast, my chins jiggle. Just sayin’.
Yeah, shorts are a thing of the past…these (super pale too) Mom legs just aren’t what they used to be.
Ah, double chins…love how they show up in all my photos!
And at this point, just about everything jiggles! lol
Love your list. Too true. I am pushing 50 this year. Bad news, it keeps going down hill. Now I still need glasses for distance (have since I was about your age), but I also need different glasses to read.
I could probably use glasses, but I’ve never been to an eye doctor….but keeping my vision slightly bad may help improve some of these “truths” …may ease the blow a little bit!
I’m with Rhonda (just turned 50)….so I have all of those things, plus add “hot flashes” which I thought were supposed to replace my monthly visit from Aunt Flo, but instead I get both! Woo Hoo. Oh, and what my sisters and I have been dreading we inherited from our great Aunts…’very close veins’, which are a lovely shade of blue and no cute pedicure distracts from the fact that our feet are turning into old lady feet.
Hey! I PMS for a week and Menopause for 3!! Life gets rotten for hubby on a daily basis around here LOL!!
HYSTERICAL! Here’s one I don’t think you have yet, as I am a SMIDGE older than you!
I just LOVE the lines in my face. The crows feet have feet. And they are DEEP! I have to warn people not to get too close to my face without a harness because they might actually fall into one of these babies. ECHO, ECHO, ECHO!
My lines are fine at this point…but they’re trying hard to graduate to cavernous wrinkles. I’m terrified. I also hate myself for all my years of fake-baking in tanning beds. Now I apply SPF 100 to my face and sit under plywood to avoid the sun. I can literally feel them deepening…do you know anyone who needs a Kidney? Willing to trade for Botox.
I would give my children for Botox but my stupid husband says no. Sometimes I wonder if he cares about my happiness at all.
Sometimes I wonder what they’re thinking…or if they’re thinking at all. The nerve!
You can’t suck in back fat………………there’s no butts about that one.
Unfortunately not….
LMAO! Number 10 and 11 are me! So sad but so true.
The truth is many things….one of which is sad (especially # 10 – when thighs attack). I miss shorts. And not peeing in them.
OH MY! I am EVERYTHING but 7! But instead, I have to embrace my roadmap of veins showing through my tansparent skin!
Don’t feel bad….I left out that I’m super pale (nearly transparent)…and this is no “general list” …this is all me! LOL Gotta rock what you got! That’s my motto!
I am 35 and was trying really hard to stay in denial about aging until this year when it became impossible to ignore. I can’t jump on the trampoline with the kids anymore because they might laugh at me when I pee my pants. The other day, one of my daughters said to me “when you take off your bra, your boobs are floppy”. So apparently, I have “floppy” boobs to go with the crow’s feet, the grey hairs, and the no longer flat tummy!
Ah, from the mouth of babes! Sometimes I wish they’d keep their comments to themselves!
At this point I embrace it as my battle scars. I earned this muffin top- three times over!
And I did forget jumping….laughing, coughing, sneezing, jumping (and heavy lifting too)…battle scars, I tell ya!
I’m a substitute teacher and do gym some days. I say throw on a pad and jump away. Except that when I was pregnant and peed my pants and had to run to Walmart and buy new panties at lunch. Nice! The jumbo pads the school nurse has are great for that. Where do they buy those gargantuan monsters anymore? Are they right next to the sanitary napkin belts? (shudder)
Well, I don’t have kids but I have noticed that things just are not where they used to be. I wish I could go back and kick my super thin, unlined, perky 20 year old self in the ass too. Now, I spend my time at the gym (I know, easier to do with no kids) and pray for a million dollar lotto win so I can nip, tuck, and smooth all the little things I notice suck on me.
This aging thing sucks but it is all we have…. make the best of it.
P.S. I am 37 so I have 4 years on you.
Seriously, I wish someone would have told me. I want to serve as a warning to others. I’ll stand outside of tanning salons and say in a sppoky voice to all the tight skinned brown girls heading for another fake bake, “This could be Yoooooooooou in just ten yeeeeeaaaarrrrrss!” And point to my face. If I can save just one girl from premature wrinkles, I’ll have done my job.
And you’re right, I’m not banking on the lotto, so it’s gonna be what it’s gonna be at this point!
Hysterical and sadly relatable!
Sorry you can relate, glad you can at least laugh at it though!
Oh, I forgot one really positive thing…since my hair is sooo thin,
it takes just seconds to dry and gone are the days of needing alot of rollers…3 or 4 and I’m done…
Silver lining is a good thing! My hair is super thick and I have to get up extra early just to wash and dry! If it were thinner & dried quicker I could sleep an extra 40 minutes…that’s HUGE!
OMG I had to change pants twice yesterday from peeing on myself. (sneezing, laughing) I also have 3 kids, though mine are a bit older than your’s (12, 9, 7) and I think I have the bladder of Smurfette!!!
LOVE the blog–I found you through the circle of moms contest. You are going through so many things I have been through, and continue to go through daily…
Thanks, Caroline! Glad you found me! And I look to you all with the older ones for a glimpse of what’s coming next…I like to know what I’m in for!
And seriously, no one ever told me my bladder would be shot after kids. I heard that could happen in pregnancy but boy was I surprised after #2 when it never went away! It should be one of those “The more you know” public service announcements! lol
absolutely , try the body at 40 after last baby turned out to be babies, love the front wedgie!!!
dont giggle sneeze laugh or try to “wait”
You know you may be an thirty/forty-something mom when . . . your kids navigate by reading your spider veins like a map (and the veins are almost as reliable as the GPS).
I’m considering simply painting the rest of my legs blue — would be easier than trying to hide the network.
Painting them blue is genius! I was also thinking of tattooing a “You are here” right above an intersection of veins.
UGH – it’s so depressing….Especially since I go to the gym at least 3 times a week – and still everything in your list is true for me…..im going to go eat some cake now
I do walk and garden regularly. Plus hauling kids and laundry baskets up steps 100x a day. I did, however, give up on the gym a couple years ago. I wasn’t seeing enough difference. It is what it is at this point… Plus I too love cake. Enjoy!
I don’t have kids or grey hairs yet (I’m 30), but I’m noticing things aren’t quite what they used to be. For example, when did these dark circles and under eye bags appear on my face? Also, shouldn’t the acne be gone by now?
The acne helps you look youthful….at least that’s what I tell myself. lol
You just made my day, at least I’m not alone!
Far from it, Amanda! Welcome to the worst club ever!
Hilarious! In addition to almost everything on your list, I have a “special” muffin top. It’s very fancy… decorated with super deep stretch mark scars, courtesy of my kids. Looks like Freddy Krueger’s neck, LOL. Upside is I don’t have to worry too much about looking decent for bathing suit season ’cause unless I magically get enough money for a tummy tuck (and boob lift, who am I kidding) that just ain’t gonna happen. Yay for board shorts & tankini tops!
LOL…at least you can look at the bright side! If it wasn’t for board shorts & tankini’s I’d be in a moo-moo.
Laughing hands down!
Glad you enjoyed it
I am giggling. I have resorted to yoga capris (just had no. 2 three months ago) for my ‘still-a-little-prego-leftover-belly’ look. Along with super white legs, which my husband lovingly pointed out this weekend that they are six shades lighter than my arms. My nieces look at old pics of me and tell me ‘you looked different’ (tactful girls), I always reply ‘that’s what babies do to you!’
I think I’ve lost pigment in my legs….it’s awful that they’re in the worst condition of my life and are powder pale to boot! WTH?
And you should remind your nieces they said that in 20 years
HAHAHAHA you just described me to a tee!!!
Ill take the mint chocolate chip ice cream thank you.
Amen to the mint chocolate chip, Hillarie. Amen.
I swear that I made the National Geographic comment about myself yesterday!!! LOL
The aftermath of breastfeeding is a b****
And what an aftermath it is! lol
Lol my 30th birthday is in August so I guess my 20′s are over but after my second baby( I have a 12 year old and a two year old) I gained 25 pounds discovered spider veins on my legs and you know those giant cupcakes you see on t.v. ? thats my “muffin” top. I have jiggly bits in places I wasn’t aware could jiggle and I apparently “used” to be hot but now I look like a mom. Uh excuse me but what the heck does that mean and why is that so insulting? Oh and the boobs God the boobs they clap when I jump up and down pancake when I lie on my side. Sigh hubby felt sorry for me when I teared up after catching a glimpse of what he sees when we were doing the do and promised to buy me some new boobies if I would just stop ruining the mood with my blubbering.
It used to make me sad too…I think after the third kid and now that I’m in the last year of my early 30′s, it is what it is. But you can bet your ass if I hit the lottery, I’ll be doing something about “the girls”
Enjoy the last few months of your 20′s…and if there is one thing that I’ve learned from my guy friends is that we’re the only ones who care about they way we look. They don’t care! 
So funny! So true!!! The peeing while sneezing! Yeesh! I’m thirty-one. What’s going to happen to me when I’m eighty?!
Seriously! I’m so terrified about that! I figure I’ll just be in diapers 24/7 by that point….
You forgot hemorrhoids.
I have one thick hyphen that splits my forehead in two.
Fine lines. Fine, wrinkles.
My ass fell down to somewhere behind my knees.
My boobs are empty sacks of flesh that can now be tucked into the waist of my Grannie Panties.
How did my teeth suddenly get crooked?
Why am I always squinting now?
Since when did I start talking about the weather all the time?
LOL…and by LOL, know that I’m laughing with and not at you. I love “Fine, wrinkles.”
No hemorrhoids for me…yet. That was like the one bad pregnancy thing I didn’t get. I had everything else from hypermesis (excessive vomiting) to diabetes to blood pressure issues. God must have known the hemorrhoids would have pushed me over the edge.
And weather is my favorite.
I had Hyperemesis with my daughter from before I was even pg enough to get a + on the stick. That was good times, because the Zofran I took to not puke made me not poop for 8 months. Also fun.
I think my favorite was the contact dermatitis I had, making me allergic to my own body secretions. Very sexy stuff.
I have thought about writing a post similar to this but about being pregnant. I think it would make a lovely PSA for all the horny teenagers this summer. I could be singularly responsible for bringing celibacy back in vogue.
I have 13 years on you. I try not to look at myself in a full length mirror. Hell, I try to look at only the part I need to check at that time.
I’ve banned full length mirrors. Indefinitely.
Briliant!
I was not familiar with the “muffin top”, (pure ignorance, believe me, I do have one). Anyway, I had to look it up and there’s some pretty good educational material, this is my favourite visual:
You learn something new every day! So glad I could be the one to introduce you to such an endearing term! And I LOVE the commercial- I hadn’t seen it before, thanks for sharing the link!
OMG…I’m sitting at my desk at work reading this and laughing out loud.
I can relate to most of these. Thank you for posting what I’ve been thinking for so long.
Glad I could bring some laughter to the work day, Barbara! Thanks for your comment!!
So funny and SO true. I JUST caught the visual of my “wings” in the side view mirror this weekend. I happened to be in the passenger side of the car with my arm out the window and when I looked in the mirror I couldn’t believe I had sprouted wings! I was lucky I didn’t fly right out of the car! And of course this must have just happened over the winter, right? It couldn’t be from not exercising right? And I have twin toddlers, how can I not have jacked, Kelly Ripa arms from picking them up all the time? Humph…..I’m have recently started a blog and have loved reading yours, it is so funny and so real. Thanks!
LOL. If it makes you feel any better, I look like a damn flying squirrel. It’s ridiculous.
Can’t wait to check out your blog!
I’m gonna keep telling myself “I don’t have back fat”!!
The nice thing about back fat is that you don’t have to look at it. It’s my favorite kind of fat
I’ll be 33 tomorrow. I’m noticing my skin is going through a nice puberty part deux phase wherein I am breaking out constantly. Also, the wrinkles don’t go away when I stop smiling. Also, no matter how many core workouts I do, there are some parts that aren’t going to tighten…EVER.
Hope you had a great birthday!!
And I feel you on the breakouts. Pimples give a youthful look, don’t you agree?
And I came to the same realizations about some parts NEVER (as in never-ever) will be the same again ( at least by exercising).
*Sigh*
What do you mean you can’t suck in back fat? And all this time I thought I was pulling it off….sigh…
The greatest part about back fat is it’s location. At least you don’t have to look at it. I like to pretend it’s not even there most of the time.
I see someone else already mentioned hemorrhoids, but they deserve mentioning again because they are quite a pain in the a$$! (Ha ha!) I got these gems after having my second baby. I saw you said you did not get them and how lucky you are! Let me tell you, nothing has made me feel quite as elderly at only 32 as walking down the Preparation H aisle in Target, in search of relief in the form of butt cream! Then I find out I can’t use anything because I am still nursing the baby who gave them to me. And now I know my boobs are going to look like deflated balloons when I do stop nursing her. Oh, and can I mention that my belly button looks ridiculous after bearing 2 children?
LOL….I am counting my blessings for sure!
And the belly button was an afterthought. Mine is like a cavern. lol
I would like to tell you that it gets better! I just approached the the big 5-0 and realized unless Willard Scott announces my birthday on the Today Show in 2061, I’m closer to dead. My new fun trick? I can pull my eyelids completely over my eyes! It’s a fun trick at dinner parties!
Would love for you to stop by my blog. Looks like we have the same sense of humor.
Julie
Fromthemudroom.com
Wow! Awesome party trick! I think I’ll be able to do that long before my 50th though!
Can’t wait to check out your blog…thanks for your comment!
I am now 63 and I stopped gazing at myself with my glasses on long ago! I recently made a fantastic discovery: Put your pants on backwards! The stomach fills in where the butt used to be! Results? A great fitting pair of pants! No more baggy butt!!!! LOL!!!!
LOL!!! I love the silver lining! I’ll have to give that a go next time I’m putting on my pants
Great idea, Valerie! I’m 64 and also have no more butt but a perfect bowling ball pot! I’ve thought about seeing if cosmetic surgery could just rotate my middle 180 degrees, but your solution sounds cheaper! Just have to avoid pants with a “front zipper” cause I’d never get around to unzip in time to follow up on those coughs and sneezes LOL Ain’t getting older a bitch!
Because of all the fat, I’m constantly hot so capris are pretty much a no go (except in the winter time, when normal people wear real pants). My saving grace has been men’s shorts. Not only are they long enough to not get eaten by my thighs, but they have enough pockets (that are actually big enough to use) to actually be useful. Plus, they are usually cheaper than plus sized women’s shorts.
I’m sitting here nursing my third child and watching you. I nearly peed my pants!
Definitely number 11, oh so true.
My 4 year old frequently tells me it looks like I still have a baby in my belly. His sister came out 9 months ago.
Lord, I thought the peeing was bad enough, but I too have noticed a significant increase in flab where I distinctly remember not putting any. I kick myself now for all those Butterfingers I ate as a kid, which was my own fault – but of course, I blame my children for my wonderful new gift of flatulence and hemorrhoids.
That extra flabby stomach skin after 3 kids. No matter how many situp or crunches, that stretched out skin is there for good. Stretch marks on my thighs and shoulders and who know where else too on my body. Let’s not forget about the double chin that never went away.
There have been a number of changes (for the worse) in my body. But the worst part is that something changed hormonally or chemically in me when I had my kid…AND I CAN NO LONGER GET DRUNK ENOUGH TO FORGET THE TERRIBLE CHANGES IN MY BODY.
It’s wrong. It’s just a crying shame.
all those have happened to me. i have pancake boobs, forget sneezing and coughing too, i got bat wing arms (i tell my kids they are remenents of my cape) pale legs and spider veins, yup. i have brown hair and my greys have a mind of their own they are wavy and stick straight up so i have a grey halo. hasn’t happened to me yet but you forgot where the but deflates and flattens out to a dissapointing point where your thighs meet. (my kids call it the momma flat butt)
Love it! After my first daughter was born, and we were done with breastfeeding, I mourned my once perky breasts. So, I thought I’d head to Victoria’s Secret to snag myself a pretty bra or two to make myself feel better. Ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaa! The 19 year old sales girl who measured me couldn’t sympathize…I’m sure she thought I was some old hag with saggy boobs. I said, “I NOW know why your padded lift bras are such big sellers!” Oy!
OMG…I’m glad I’m not the only one wondering what the hell happened! I have 4 boys…two teenagers, a 3 yr old and youngest is going to be 1. After the first one I bounced right back but after the second one…forget it! The last one really did me in-he was over 11 lbs delivered via c-section….my stomach is never going to be the same…I think my muffin top has a muffin top…I can totally relate to everything on the list…and was laughing so loud the girls here at work probably think I’ve cracked up!!! Love it!
Hahahah I know that feeling too. I have 4 kids ranging 11, 9,6,5 and my undies have a muffin top and so do my pants. I feel like a walking poster board for these teenagers walking around in shorty shorts and tank tops.” Have sex your body will look like this after kids.”
Sad, but true. My poor boobs just about need their own zip code. Let’s not talk about the C-section “dewlap” – it’s too painful.
Hey! Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I’m twice as old as you and I have to tell you, it doesn’t get better! I now don’t have hair where I always had lots of it, and am getting hair where I never had it before! I think at a certain age everyone becomes androgynous.
So did this cheer up your day? LOL
I love, love, love your exercise video! Of course, in order to do it ‘d be necessary to do dishes, laundry, windows, etc (not likely, but my husband would be in favor) and I always thought there was great potential in using a baby as a dumbell or medicine ball. Strangely, when I asked my neighbor if I could borrow hers to use as exercise equipment, she turned me down. What’s with that?
I plan to copy your routine to a flash drive, tho, so I can sit next to it, or maybe on it, while I snack and drink. Which do you think would be more effective?
Can I just say I love this site, and your facebook page, too damn funny. I have a brother three years younger than me, and smart one I am I got preggers at 18 (yay me). Anyway, about a year after my daughter was born my little brother and his friends were talking about girls at school, which ones were hot and who they would “do” and the like. So I walked in and handed one friend my 1 year old (who was sporting a fresh shitty diaper) Took off my tee shirt and pants.. yeah I stood there in bra and panties in front of 5, 16 to 17 year old boys.. and asked them how sexy it was. My stomach was done for 6 months into pregnancy, stretch mark heaven.. I had the after baby belly flap kicking like no ones business, my once awesome boobs now needed ugly giant granny bras.. and my thighs looked like they were rolled in cottage chesse.. I even madee one smell my hair and neck, I’d been puked on three times so far that day.. I’m proud to say that not one of those boys knocked a girl up in high school, only one actually has a kid now, with his wife. Hideous awful life lesson that works.. umm winning.. maybe we should do that at high schools instead of letting MTV show 16 and pregnant…
I fit most of that.. Especially #11…
Let me see I have 3 kids… I just turned 29 and I have found gray hair, a little bit of joint pain in my hips, my boobs have deflated
and my gap jeans won’t go over my hips:( which tells me my butt has spread a lot in the past few months since my youngest was born…
I totally love your articles!! Unfortunately they are so true. We all seem to ‘mother’ the same way. Our bodies just do their own thing. Of course, with the right amount of money — great changes can be made (I’ve only heard about this)! Thanks so much for sharing, I like your ‘lemonade !!!’
As the 41 year old mother of four boys I have found that my IQ dropped with each birth and I need name tags on the kids to be sure I am hollering the name of the child who is indeed in trouble(seems to lose some of the punch when you have had to go through the whole roster before you get to the right name and they are all rolling on the floor laughing while you sputter for the right one)
LOVE your list! One thing i can add is that i noticed my butt has flattened. I used to question where the nice small but plump booty went and then i realized one day that my buttocks didn’t flatten, it’s that my waist disappeared giving the full flat backside effect. Marvelous! lmao
HYSTERICALLY FUNNY AND TRUE ALL AT THE SAME TIME! *LOL*
I might get fired for reading this at work because I’m laughing so loud and may have just peed in my office chair! I just have to say, I do not have a muffin top. At 35 and 3 kids later, I proudly sport my “baby belt”. It most certainly wraps all the way around my midsection and pushes more clothing out or down than it holds in or up but you can’t by this at any store! It is truly one of a kind and it took well over 27 months of human baking to style so perfectly! (Yes denial is my style!)
LMAO…I can relate to all of these but #7…I’ve always stayed out of the sun…red hair & freckles,,,moot point! Everything else applies though…TOO WELL! Thanks for putting it in perspective! Even my teenagers agreed!!!
Let it go. Except for the whole corduroy pants thing, most of it is a non-issue. This comes from someone who has experienced all those things and come out unscathed. Mostly. Wear short sleeved or sleeveless shirts. You’re entitled to stay cool on a hot day (or during a hot flash). I like capris better than shorts. Most days. If I’m away from home. And by the time you reach this enlightenment, you’d rather have a “girls’ weekend” than laser hair removal. For those who criticize, I say, “Screw ‘em if they can’t take a joke!”
I am fighting it tooth and nail, however!!!! I might have some extra flab- but I don’t have to be a total Beluga!! I am a tad past the Men-o-pause too, and WHAT the *&%$(&@ is up with the facial hair now? My legs barely have any hair anymore, but now I’ve got to wax the upper lip! Can’t win.
Girls, I will tell you that avoiding the sun PAYS OFF. I get compliments a lot on my skin. I never was a sun-worshiper. Boy what a difference it makes. In my 40′s- I also decided that hats were going to be part my outfits, whenever I was out in the sun.
What made me see how bad the sun is for you is all the farmers round here… oh my gosh! Apple people. My own husband included… he’s no farmer but he won’t listen to me about his health. Our kids all remark that he looks ancient and I don’t ! LOL
Stay OUT of the sun!
Oh, you’re so funny. However, I can relate ;o
I love your blog. I stumbled across it and needed the laugh today! I felt just the way you do when I was your age, however, I must say… I am now 59 yrs old… and you you ain’t seen nothin yet! Gravity is NOT OUR FRIEND!!! The issues you describe actually get worse!! LOL I find the best weapons are a sense of humor and attitude!
Love this post! (and most all of them) Shared it to twitter!
Love your blog. One I didn’t see is stretch marks. Mine resemble little craters mainly on my belly, oh and what I like to call the kangaroo pouch, which formed very nicely after my second daughters birth. I never had a completely flat belly but now I have this little pouch I could hide stuff in if it opened lol.
Oh My! These are just too great! I have nothing to add, except ‘thank you SPANX!”