Last month all three kids celebrated their birthdays. Joey, my oldest, is now six years old and is eager (for the time being) to get back to school and start first grade. Jake, who turned four over the weekend, is finally out of the dreaded toddler stage (for the most part). And Cecilia, dear, sweet, baby Cecilia…where did you go and who is this loud, demanding, fit throwing little girl calling herself by your name?
Cecilia, who has been two for a month, started blossoming into a toddler probably about seven or eight months ago. Being the youngest and having her brothers to model after (God help me), she did most milestones months ahead of the boys. She was walking at nine months, running by ten, and even speaking in some full sentences around 16 months. It was also around this time that she started with some of the toddler-esque behaviors, which coincidentally, is also when I began exhibiting some of the signs and symptoms of being the parent of a toddler (again). Sometimes it’s obvious, other times you don’t even know it while it’s happening (which I believe is the brain’s way of defending itself and preventing a meltdown/breakdown scenario).
Don't let her sweet exterior fool you, Nature made the toddler cute for a reason. My daughter, my third and final toddler, is giving me a run for my money (and sanity).
So here they are…
10 Signs you might be the parent of a toddler
1. You ask your child, “Hey, I wonder what Elmo’s World will be about today?” and you mean it.
2. You find and pick up a random raisin off the floor, only that’s not a raisin…
3. In an effort to keep public tantrums to a minimum you do things such as the “Hokey Pokey” in the middle of a busy Target store as a means of pleasing and entertaining your offspring
4. Potty training makes you question your worth as a parent, adult and human being
5. You find yourself unintentionally singing songs from The Wiggles or Yo Gabba Gabba even when you’re alone (“There’s a party in my tummy! So yummy! So yummy!”)
6. You thought once the midnight feedings ended you’d be able to sleep again (WRONG), and you’re sure you could have written books like Adam Mansbach’s “Go the F#ck to Sleep” (which reading by the way makes you want to laugh hysterically and cry incessantly)
7. You can no longer take a trip anywhere (whether it be 5 miles or 50 miles) without having to stop and use a public restroom, bush or roadside ditch for someone to go to the bathroom
8. You feel like a detective from CSI trying to determine the substance and splatter pattern of sticky foods on your floors, walls and ceilings (how does jelly get on the ceiling?)
9. Your purse is empty of the usual cosmetics and is now filled with crayons, hand wipes, and Goldfish crackers and the like
10. You’re certain that you’ve seen your child’s favorite movie more than any other human on Earth, and that watching it just one more time might make you start sucking your thumb and rocking back and forth in a fetal position in the corner
Just know, Moms and Dads, especially if you’re just experiencing toddlerdom for the first time, that eventually it does end, and despite the tantrums and potty training there are some pretty remarkable milestones and moments. Just buckle up and try to enjoy the ride.
What are some other sure signs that you’re the parent of a toddler? Leave me a comment and let me know!
And while you’re here, give a tired Mama who has now had at least one toddler at a time for the last four + years a break by taking a quick second and clicking on the link below. Just one click will cast an automatic vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs! Thank you!
So true. I know where every bathroom is in every store, in every city/state/province/country we’ve ever been to! LOL
Ain’t that the truth! lol
HA!! My hubby and I partake in # 5 all the time! I think we love Yo Gabba Gabba more than my son does….
One thing I can say for that show is they have good guest appearances…I haven’t seen quality stars on shows like that since the Muppets in the 80′s.
Do I have to be a parent of a toddler for some of these? I have a 6 1/2 year old and I have 3 & 4 year olds as a teacher at a Mother’s Day Out!
Unfortunately, not all behaviors stop at the toddler years! i think some things my 6 and 4 year olds are doing too….like the jelly on the ceiling. WTH>?
This post is SO spot on, thank you for this in reminding all of us parents of toddlers that we are not alone and that we’re in the trenches together!
One more that I might add is you realize that it is a Class 1 Emergency when you realize that you’ve left the house WITHOUT wipes in your purse!!
I seriously stopped just to buy them when I realized there were none in my bag or car. Oh and dum dums, none in the bag or car, and cannot go out without them.
i always say…its not you might be a redneck….its you might be a mommy if you have to sweep legos!!
It’s not on as much anymore, but I used to know what time it was by the number of Clues Blue had found. “Oh, we’re only on clue number 2. I still have 15 minutes left!”
Not only is there a party in my tummy so yummy so yummy, but hip hip horray, super readers save the day!!! I have yet to listen to the entire Lady Gaga album that I was so excited about, but I do know every line of every Wiggles Song, all the Yo Gabba Gabba songs (don’t bite your friends, totally one of my faves!) and the last concert I went to? The Wiggles! Yeah Boy! Don’t be jealous! Now, excuse me, I need to go find some super letters…
OK, I have FOUR demons.. I mean CHILDREN.. ages 21, 12, 9 & 8… and YES, they have the SAME baby-daddy (married to him for 23 yrs) & YES I did lose my mind for about a 15 year period… my youngest 3 are girls, beautiful, sweet, infuriating girls.. did I mention the eldest TWO are presently going through PUBERTY?? Oh yes. Yes they are.. Some of the things you failed to mention are as followed:
1. So far as the having to stop to use the restroom, it’s not just the kids, it’s you also because having 85 kids just RUINS your abillity to “hold it” until you get home… not to mention that you may have “leakage” issues any time you sneeze, laugh, cough, etc… due to the fact that you had to push something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon… I don’t care WHAT ANYONE says, you are NEVER the same after that.. Sorry new moms.. reality sucks.
2. The reality of having a “toddler” is that they become evil/crazy/whatever for about 18 months. I do believe it’s a contest devised by the universe just to mess with us to see exactly HOW MUCH we can take without snapping or turning to hard drugs.. They scream at you like you are a ghoul, get into absolutely EVERYTHING (especially crap you didn’t even know you HAD), stomp their feet, throw tantrums, jump around and act the fool (ESPECIALLY when your in-laws are there), beat the CRAP out of their sibling yet blame it on “I. Dunno” or “Waddn’t Me” and throw themselves onto the floor screaming like you’ve just beaten the beejeezus out of them when you’re in the grocery store… that’s a SHORT LIST by the way…
3. The BEST part is when you use a friend or family member as a babysitter and you come back frazzled just KNOWING that you’re gonna hear how little Sally & Joe were horrible & the sitter says “Oh they were just angels for ME! I just don’t know WHAT you’re talking about, they are WONDERFUL!!”… like I said.. E V I L
4. Being able to hold a diaper bag, purse AND a baby while using a public restroom.. THAT is when you KNOW you’re a REAL MOM…
4. You know you have a toddler when you leave the house without brushng your teeth, changing out of your pj’s or brushing your hair… THEN run into either your high school ex boyfriend or the ex-cheerleader PTA Mom that you want to punch for being so damned cheerful
5. Now, I have the benefit of having a 21 year old so I’ve gotten pretty much all the way through this whole parenting thing and even though the “toddler” phase and quite honestly EVERY OTHER PHASE after that is HARD, it’s ALL WORTH EVER SINGLE SECOND! I LOVE being a mom. Hearing them laugh, I mean a good hard belly laugh (yes, even the 21 year old), makes up for EVERY single struggle, every single pain. Being a mom is life.
OK, I’m gonna shut up now… hang in there ladies!!
omgosh Love Love Love your comment. Paragraph # 4 is something I may write in peoples baby shower cards from now on ( if I ever find time to go to another one!). You should really know this stuff is gonna happen before it does. I really could have been better prepared by my family and friends, lol! Maybe I wouldnt think Im a bad Mom because I cant take my 5 1/2 yo D, and almost 4 boy girl twins anywhere in public without one of them drawing some kind of completly unnecessary attention to us.. And #3 just seemed to cement ‘well, I must be the crazy one’ thought! Thank you taking the time to comment on the post!
I have a 3 yr old and a 14 month old, but instead of (or should I say ‘in addition to’) knowing where all the bathrooms are, I also know the resting location of every single visible vacuum cleaner within viewing (and non-viewing) proximity. For some reason, my 3 yr old prefers the 23 vacuum cleaners in the cleaning aisle over the millions of toys a few rows down… oi…
My oldest is 5 and is into tires. We go down the tire aisle in every store that has them. For the longest time when he was 3 he was infatuated with washers & dryers. Should have taken advantage of that one while I had the opportunity!
You start to think The Cat in the Hat is kinda sexy and might be fun to date…”Your husband won;t mind at all if you do…” ;P Some shows I love, especially the rapping fish on Bubble Guppies. I want to strangle whiney-ass Cailu. And where the hell is Ruby & Max’s mother? She lets her boss him around and take him places on the bus? Seriously?
You can wipe a toddler’s but on the toilet, hold a baby and talk on the phone at the same time. Every generation of baby gets more evil than the next. I have been a nanny for 18 years and this one might kill me.
I thought 1) I was the only one who hated Caliu and 2) If Ruby and Max had a mom. We should really call child services about them, God know how long they are alone for.
OMG Caillou drives me nuts, and i think they only made 10 of them. I get so excited when they add new ones on demand.
p.s. my hubby just said “how pathetic is this, I think Caillou’s mom is hot”
pretty pathetic, we’ve watched this entirely too much!
I am also a mother to a “Nature made her cute for a reason” toddler. She’s 18 months and nothing like her sweet, polite older brother. Which brings me to my addition to the “10 signs you might be the parent of a toddler.”
11. You haven’t eaten out in a restaurant for as long as you can remember and instead live on carry-out/delivery for the simple fact you’d rather eat pizza than listen to your toddler scream for no reason in the middle of a Texas Roadhouse.
Hilarious! I have a 4 month old so lets see what he turns into!
First of all, your daughter is gorgeous. Second of all, based on that photo alone, you COULD have been responsible for the self-sabotage of my birth control pills. But then I read the rest of your post. And I remembered. Time for my pill.
1. You know EVERY line of ALL your kid’s books by heart, and proceed to cite them aloud, even when your kid is not around.
2. You don’t remember the last time you saw a movie in the theater!
3. When someone asks you, “How are you?” you honestly can’t think of anything else to say except, “Tired.”
bwahaha im so so so glad to know im not the only one that answers that way!!!
yea tired is my reply to
Tired, crazy, just a sigh or better yet on THOSE days, I just laugh at that question!
HA! Thats ssssoooooo true!!! My daughter just turned two, I have no idea why it is called the terrible two’s (should be called the Insufferable 18 month old out to kill you for months on end phase) because she has been gearing up her attitude and temper for months now. And suddenly, sleep is impossible, she refuses! And the whole “just let her cry it out” thing is a joke, unless there are peole out there who can ignore screams and wailing for hours I MEAN HOURS on end…Tired, yes Tired is my first name these days : )
Tired! Yes, always! I have a wild 4 year old, in day care thank heavens, and boy-girl 23 month old twins. They drive me crazy, they are all so different. Baby girl is so clingy and needy, whereas her twin brother is a huge easily frustrated daredevil. These 2 are infinitely more calm than their big brother at least. Sarah, my girl will cry for hours too because she hates to sleep in her bed alone all of a sudden… SO glad I found this blog to read and to know other people are going through the same things.
Great Post! Your daughter is just beautiful
I know I’m the parent of a toddler because I find myself saying at least once a day…”Can I pleaseeeee go to the bathroom(potty) by myself”
i just want to shower alone!!!!!! or sleep without feet in my face,back, ect
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA I have to say that to my almost three year old and 16 month old daily i feel so powerless when i have to beg two wtddlers to let me go to the potty alone lol..
I *almost* miss toddlerdom. My baby…my four. year. old. baby. goes around singing “Baby, Baby, Baby, oh” among other random lyrics from the song.
I’m now a grandparent and I laughed so hard reading this cause I’m going thru this when my grandchildren are with me..this bring back the memories. Let me tell you..you still wake up during the night but instead of feeding time its to go to the bathroom and instead if them going to the bathroom every store now its you!
First, that picture is so cute! I can’t imagine that she’s not as sweet as she is cute. Ha! I can’t even write that with a straight face. My S will be 2 at the end of the month and is a moody, shreiky, hitting, screaming thing in S packaging. I don’t know how it happened, but I want it to end. And today I reached into my purse for my ringing phone and put my hand into a damp glob of unidentifiable toddler snack food sodden by leaking sippy cup of milk. I just want my dignity back.
dignity? i must have left mine in the maternity ward because i have not seen my dignity since i delivered number one almost 6 years ago…..
dignity hah that disappeared by 4 months into the first one and my kids well my boy can be really sweet 16 months most of the time but when he is doing something he is not supposed to he ignores me and pretends he went temp deaf to mommies voice and my daughter hahahaha… shes is very colorful lets just put it that way that girls gonna make a great ceo one day but i wouldn’t change anything about her, just can’t believe a 34 month old can be SO manipulative!!!! so when people say how adorable they are are my reply on a good day is ahh thanks …….trust me they know it on a usual one toddler screaming the other one jumping out of the carriage while number one screaming is grabbing the apples and throwing them across the store.. well that reply goes like this huh ..yea thanks…. as in i’m beyond exhausted i know there adorable i swear they have to be that cute for all the trouble they get in to ,,, even then so totally worth it
Ugggh. I’m having post-traumatic stress disorder reading this, only it’s not post. So it’s like anticipatory traumatic stress disorder.
Recently we have entered TANTRUM CITY. Population: 20 month old Wee ‘Burb. Frankly, half the time I resort to the pacifier b/c I’m just not strong enough to endure. I thought Crying it Out would be the longest time I could deal with a non-comforted child’s hysterics. But when she goes full force, there is NO calming her.
I can’t even bear the idea of potty training.
in potty training stage now with one its not to bad the bad part is the 16 month old boy want sot sit on the potty adn pee to.. so how the heck do you teach a boy to pee when daddys not around!!!
i am at work, in my lunch break reading this, and i want to weep. not just a little i can feel body wracking sobs coming…
ps i have a two and half year old little boy, who at times is the light of my life, at other times i theaten to sell on ebay!
today was one of my crying days as well
I catch myself breaking out into “Fruit salad, yummy, yummy” several times a day. Even when my daughter is out somewhere with my husband and I’m alone in the house. *le sigh*
She turned two in April and while she was tantrumy even before then, her toddler meltdowns have gotten more frequent. I’ve heard that 3 is worse than 2 and by then I don’t think even wine will help. Perhaps a morphine drip would do the trick.
#5 i’m ok with. The Fresh Beat Band is amazing! #7 drives me bat sh*t crazy, she will make it a point to pee in every store we go into. WTH!
Somehow my oldest skipped the terrible twos, and we got the terrible threes instead. Time to hone my hokey-pokey skills…
It’s time to go-go-go-go on an adventure!
I have a board book and a pair of socks in my purse. Doesn’t everyone?
A friend just told me that I need to stop commenting on pop culture and current events by using Sesame Street references. I’m thinking maybe I’ve crossed a line…
1. Yo Gabba Gabba songs have added a jingle in my head to almost all of my daily tasks (I question whether i’m getting wiser with age or just a bit dumbed down)
2. No outfit is complete without ketchup on the sleeve
3. In comment to #6, you wonder at one point if you will EVER sleep again.
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Oh and let me not forget:
- Get the dog toy out of your mouth!
and – Goldfish with baby spit on them taste best, (at least she shares)
my son is nearly 2 and he JUST started watching sesame street. what’s funny is, I LOVE That show too!! it’s actually pretty funny. I tend to share too much sesame street trivia on my facebook page. my friends sotra stopped interacting with me because of it, LOL..
Walking around the house, even while the kid is napping, and finding yourself humming, “La la la la, la la la la, Elmo’s World.” Argh. I have actually slapped myself in the head!
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Purse??? Haven’t been able to carry one of those for years! My new purse is a pink Under Armor back pack that I carry. It has all of the essentials…change of clothes, wipes, snacks, juiceboxes, etc. Don’t forget (I do all of the time) kids make you lose your mind…if you don’t write it down when you think of it file it away in the “lost cause” folder. I have a 5yr old son and a 3yr old son, I love them dearly. But I cannot wait for school to start just so I have a 2hr period of quiet time to myself.
Also, I am sure many of you ladies out there feel me on this…the adult men in our lives are no better than the tantrum throwing toddlers! I many times tell people I have 3 boys…a 5yr old, a 3yr old, and a 28yr old. I get many chuckles from this statement and many women agree with it! I am just impatiently waiting for the tantrums and such to fade away! Good luck ladies =)
My precious baby girl turned 2 in May. I was so not prepared for her, even after having already gone through the toddler girl phase with her older sister (now 5). Now that Baby J has words and can speak in sentences, I get charming responses to my requests. As in, “Can you pick up that fruit loop that you dropped on the floor?” “No! YOU pick up dat fwoot woop.” and my favorite is when she says, “I not happy.” This is her warning that unless you bow to her whim and fulfill her demands, there will be no peace. She has impeccable timing with this one. On the way to the grocery store, restaurant, friend’s house, etc. is when she chooses to give warning, but it’s upon our arrival that she unleashes the fury.
I laughed out loud when I read your post. I loved your quote, “No, YOU pick up dat foot woop.”. I get the same thing from my two year old and can totally relate.i also get warnings of feelings too. “Mommy, I sad.”. “Mommy I cold” translate to I’m tired and want my blanket to go to sleep.
#11. You hide in your bedroom “making a grocery list/planning meals” but really online checking out the mommy blogs while hubby & kids are distracting each other..
i also have 3 kids and the 3rd is my worst you are right in so many areas people say oh how cute or how precious i warn them to fear her the most when she looks the sweetest because that’s when she is doing some bbbbaaaaadddd stuff.
Hahaha you always make me laugh lady!!!! As a mother of 3 as well, 5, 4, and 2, I completely relate to almost everything you say, and I enjoy reading each one of your blogs (even though I usually do it with screaming, fighting children in the backround)!
Yeah, that’s us. We’ve got two of the monsters- twin girls turning 2 in exactly a month.
And those favorite movies? The worst of it is the ’70s-tastic “Free To Be You And Me,” thanks to which my husband and I can be found in the middle of grocery stores and (God forbid) Sam’s Club singing, “Parents are people, people with children…”
My six year old son wonders where Max and Ruby’s mom is. I’m just thankful that he nor his older sister ever got into Barney. I call them the loves of my life and the bane of my existence. They think it’s funny I watch Victorious and iCarly when they’re not around; hey Sikowitz and Spencer are hot. I love you and your blog. Nice to know they’re are others out there. (And now I have, “There’s a land that I see, where the children are free…” running through my head.
What? It’s not normal to carry around random peices of candy or crackers in the bottom of your purse?
11. You regularly drop whatever you are doing, to make a mad dash toward the very quiet toddler, because you know that something very bad was about to happen and you manage to stop it.
Mom of 3, I found that only my firstborn followed the ‘terrible 2′ stage…middle daughter was worse at 3 & awful at 4 (their mouths & bodies are stronger, much stronger)…my youngest son, well…is 5 still a toddler??
Should I add to your list:
11. You regularly cry, sobbing “what happened to my sweet little baby?? I took care of you from before you were born, sang to you, fed you, rocked you, bathed you and now you scream at me because (insert example:) I’m helping you with your zipper?”
12. You find random bruises, thanks to your kid.
13. If you have a boy, when they enter the ‘I’m a T-Rex’ stage, you are constantly apologizing to other kids and their parents for him ROARing in their faces, usually making them cry.