Last month all three kids celebrated their birthdays. Joey, my oldest, is now six years old and is eager (for the time being) to get back to school and start first grade. Jake, who turned four over the weekend, is finally out of the dreaded toddler stage (for the most part). And Cecilia, dear, sweet, baby Cecilia…where did you go and who is this loud, demanding, fit throwing little girl calling herself by your name?
Cecilia, who has been two for a month, started blossoming into a toddler probably about seven or eight months ago. Being the youngest and having her brothers to model after (God help me), she did most milestones months ahead of the boys. She was walking at nine months, running by ten, and even speaking in some full sentences around 16 months. It was also around this time that she started with some of the toddler-esque behaviors, which coincidentally, is also when I began exhibiting some of the signs and symptoms of being the parent of a toddler (again). Sometimes it’s obvious, other times you don’t even know it while it’s happening (which I believe is the brain’s way of defending itself and preventing a meltdown/breakdown scenario).
10 Signs you might be the parent of a toddler:
1. You ask your child, “Hey, I wonder what Elmo’s World will be about today?” and you mean it.
2. You find and pick up a random raisin off the floor, only that’s not a raisin…
3. In an effort to keep public tantrums to a minimum you do things like the “Hokey Pokey” in the middle of a busy Target store as a means of pleasing and entertaining your volatile offspring.
4. Potty training makes you question your worth as a parent, adult and human being.
5. You find yourself unintentionally singing songs from The Wiggles or Yo Gabba Gabba even when you’re alone – “There’s a party in my tummy! So yummy! So yummy!”
6. You thought once the midnight feedings ended you’d be able to sleep again (WRONG), and you’re sure you could have written books like Adam Mansbach’s “Go the F#ck to Sleep,” which reading by the way makes you want to laugh hysterically and cry incessantly.
7. You can no longer take a trip anywhere (whether it be 5 or 50 miles) without having to stop and use a public restroom, bush or roadside ditch for someone to go to the potty (even though you just asked them if they had to go before you left the house).
8. You feel like a detective from CSI trying to determine the substance and splatter pattern of sticky foods on your floors, walls and ceilings (and how does jelly get on the ceiling anyway?).
9. Your purse is empty of the usual cosmetics and is now filled with crayons, hand wipes, Goldfish crackers and the like.
10. You’re certain that you’ve seen your child’s favorite movie more than any other human on Earth, and that watching it just one more time might make you start sucking your thumb and rocking back and forth in a fetal position in the corner.
Just know, Moms and Dads, especially if you’re just experiencing toddlerdom for the first time, that eventually it does end, and despite the tantrums and potty training there are some pretty remarkable milestones and moments. Just buckle up and try to enjoy the ride.
What are some other sure signs that you’re the parent of a toddler? Leave me a comment and let me know!
You might also enjoy, Toddlers vs. A$$holes (don’t worry, it’s not as bad as it sounds).