A few weeks ago, even without trying, another one of my attempts at being crafty totally backfired.
There are probably quite a few words people would use to describe me, as a mother and otherwise, and I’d bet a million dollars that not one person who actually knows me would ever utter the words, “Susan is so crafty.” I have no discernible artistic ability whatsoever and had come to terms with that, but I felt a little guilty when I had my first child. What if he was the next Michelangelo, and his talent never blossomed just because his un-artsy mother cannot even draw a straight line with a ruler?
Driven by my guilt, I went one day to my local craft store, loaded up on all things crafty, and tried (and failed) at multiple art projects with Joey back when he was toddler. Joey never seemed to interested, and even today doesn’t really like to draw or craft as much as he likes to build and create with blocks, legos, etc. My guilt subsided and my failed crafts faded from my mind.
In my designated craft drawer, however, many of these items still sit, barely used, and serving as nothing more than a reminder of my failure to be a crafty Mom. The drawer is now mostly filled with things I can handle like crayons, markers, scissors, glue, coloring books, pads, paper and paint.
One of my long forgotten items showed up a couple weeks ago, dumped in a pile on the dinning room floor topped with glue:
In this moment of exasperation over yet another unnecessary and ridiculous mess to clean up, and even though I knew what the pile was, I yelled out, “what the hell is this mess?!”
A few seconds later the two boys came running into the dinning room. Both had on their best innocent faces, and Joey casually replied, “Well, Mom. I’m not sure, but I think that looks like unicorn poop.”
Four years after I bought the glitter (of which there were three containers/colors that I’ve now tossed in the trash), it’s come back to remind me how uncrafty, and also how apparently stupid I am (who buys giant containers of glitter, anyway?)…and now that’s it’s been nearly three weeks, I can tell you that I’ll be reminded for years to come because no matter what I do, I’m still finding glitter everywhere. It’s on my feet, it’s on my clothes, and even been seen on the my daughter’s ass when I change her diaper. We’ve found it inside of books, in the kid’s hair and I found some today on my baked potato. Apparently, glitter stays in the environment forever…and ever.
Although each of my three children were repeatedly questioned, no one has cracked and confessed to said mess. Each remains a suspect, and I just hope to catch them in the act the next time…and knowing my kids, there is always a next time.
And even though I had the best of intentions, and it’s pretty, sparkly and pink, unicorn poop, no matter how you spin it, it still a pile of poop.
What’s the most ridiculous mess you’ve had to clean up from your kids? Leave me a comment! And while you’re here, take a quick second and click on the banner below to vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs! Just one click is all it takes to cast an automatic vote for me! Thank you!!