Well, back to school is in full gear and that is partially my excuse for my lack of posts over the last week. My son Joey is loving First Grade, and we’re really happy with his teacher and so far he seems to have a really nice bunch of classmates. My son Jake started his second year of preschool and is also adjusting well which we expected since he’s got all but one of the kids from last year’s class and the same teachers.
September has really been kicking my ass though with the early mornings, busy afternoons, and exhausting evenings. The kids and I both are trying to get back into a better sleep pattern, and I’m still having some issues with my diet and overall health.
In my Drop Dead Diva post I told you all a little about what ails me…at least medically speaking. I did finally go to the doctor’s office, received a scolding for having stayed away so long, and my doctor, whom I trust totally, ordered a barrage of tests to see if we can get to the bottom of what’s casing my symptoms.
I’ve had a CT scan already, which for those of you who have never had one requires that you drink a chalky barium solution (two large servings approximately the size of two Medium soft drink containers from a fast food restaurant) within thirty minutes. Then for my scan, after choking down the solution, which in addition to having a horrible taste and texture, really does very little to help ease an already nausea stomach, I was then injected with radioactive dye via IV for the scan.
Thankfully I had a really nice technician, received a blessing from a fellow patient that was a nun, and managed not to puke all over the exam room. When I got off the table I also noticed that my gown was caught in the table before I tried to walk away which prevented me from either falling or being naked…or falling naked. Either way the scan went as well as I could have hoped and it was all clear except for a hernia (guess I’ll have to give up my weightlifting).
I also went early, as in 6am early, to a lab to get my fasting blood work done. Thanks to my shitty insurance company, that’s you Aetna, I couldn’t go to the lab right down the street (that also was the same scenario for the CT scan), but rather had to drive 30 minutes to the closest location. So after getting up at 5am, getting ready and waking up, I drove 30 minutes to one of the dirtiest labs I’ve ever seen. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought based on the condition of the building and the other clientele that I was actually in the Department of Motor Vehicles. The staff was really nice though, and I actually felt bad for them having to work there every day. In fact, some of the other people may have just been homeless squatters looking for a place to come in out of the rain. I base that assumption on the smell and crazy talk that was coming from not one, but two other patients.
After delousing and taking a scalding hot shower when I got home, I felt better and continued to feel good for about three days. Then I was hit with a ton of nausea and other unpleasant abdominal symptoms. I’ve lost another three pounds, and officially have no clothes that fit. Good news is that most of my blood work was normal and my cholesterol is way, way down from what it last was. Bad news is that I still don’t have a diagnosis…
My doctor actually ordered several more tests that I was hoping I was not going to have to complete. I prayed for a disease or disorder to show up on the CT Scan or blood work, not because I want to be sick but because I need some answers. I’m officially sick of being sick.
At this point I’m disappointed but will be getting a chest Xray (I have no clue why he ordered this one), a colonoscopy which is scheduled for the beginning of October (I’m not happy about this one at all), and to put the icing on the cake I have to return back to the DMV Lab with a bag of shit. Yes, I’ll be turning in a stool sample.
I’ve literally been traumatized by the collection kit they sent home with me. My instructions were to write my name on the outside (check), put the specimen in each of the four containers but only up to the red line (not check) and anything over the line is not usable. WTF? These containers are super small and have an opening the size of a United States Quarter.
Holy shit, people. Holy shit literally.
I mean, are you kidding? There’s no instructions or anything, and I’ve been having nightmares over the executuion of this process. I may need some Xanax to get this done…
I’m also not even going to worry about the colonoscopy, and what that entails, until after I figure out how to complete the lab’s stuff.
I should probably also apologize for this, but you all need to remember, this is my free therapy. Feel free to comment with your own shitty problems. Whether that be figurative or literal, I’ll listen 🙂
So bear with me folks, I’m hanging onto my sense of humor, but with the kids back in school and my health issues I may just be a little sporadic about posting here on the web (nothing too crazy but if I’m absent a few days, just picture me crying, curled in a ball, rocking back and forth while staring at those bottles).
I promise I’ll make up for this post…picture me in some of the worst Fall Fashions…it’s coming soon and while you’re here, please do me a favor and click on the link below. JUST ONE CLICK casts an automatic vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs! Thank you!