Joey had a half day from school yesterday, is off today for parent-teacher conferences and again tomorrow for Veteran’s Day. I have conflicting emotions when the kids are home from school. On the one hand, there’s no morning rush, no fighting to get kids up and dressed and out the door. On the other hand, on a day like today, where it’s cloudy, foggy, and drizzly and we’re stuck inside, it’s another battle all together to keep them entertained without watching all day TV or playing video games and fighting with each other.
“Mom! He won’t stop looking at me!”
“Mom! He’s chewing loud on purpose!”
“Mom! He breathed on me!”
“Mom! She drew on my face with two markers!”
All this by 8:30am.
What’s worse is that I’m sick. I know, I know. I’m not allowed to be sick, but I am. I have some sort of respiratory funk that prevents any breathing through my nose, lots of coughing, and virtually no sleep. *Cue the violins*
So instead of getting out the arts and crafts, reading books, or going to a museum, I’m ready to curl up on the couch and let the kids rot their brains with hours of Netflix and/or Wii today.
First I asked them to be good. Then I tried making them feel bad.
“Kids, Mommy is feeling really sick. You know how you guys were feeling bad? Well, now I’m sick too, so can you please be good for Mommy? It will help me feel better.”
That worked for about 3 minutes and 37 seconds.
“Susan! I want to play with them too! They said no to me!” (Did I mention I’m on day three of my daughter calling me by my first name?)
At one point, after Jake threw a Transformer down the steps, hitting Joey in the back and nearly causing him to fall, I just cried out in a raspy voice, “What the hell do I have to do today to make you kids be good for more than 10 minutes?!”
Blank stares.
Then silence for a few minutes before the boys went upstairs to play and I returned to watching Toy Story 2 for the second time today with Cecilia.
A few minutes later the boys came back downstairs and handed me a piece of yellow paper. They were both smiling, looking very proud of themselves and for a moment I felt really bad for losing my temper as they had clearly drawn me a picture to make me feel better. Perhaps it was a ‘Get Well Soon’ card. What sweet boys I had, I thought, as I smiled and read the note:
So there you have it. I’ll be bribing them with movies, video games and candy while I nurse myself back to life on the couch today.
Feel free to vote for me for Mother of the Year, clearly, I’ve got it in the bag for 2011.
What kinds of bribery have you resorted to when you were sick, busy or having “one of those days?” Leave me a comment!
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Priceless!! Please keep that for when they are sick as adults with young children and they call Grandma for help. Dig it out, come over love up the kids, glue that to the fridge door and leave, laughing maniacally the whole way home!
It’s called Karma!
Try being sick on a school day off in a daycare! Scenario – Forty-five child daycare, twelve kids are school-age, Toy Story 3 is out and on their schedule for afternoon field trip, school van takes a dump and Ms. Nikki is pulling her hair out. Me – the director – has the Blue Gumboo (I’m sick). “Go to Blockbuster, rent whatever the hell they want and buy 12 Slurpies and don’t come into my office unless someone is bleeding or unconscious.” At the end of the day I get a big banner that says “Ms. Brenda Rocks!”
CANDY! That is what I am missing! Why didn’t I think of that! I have been fighting the funk too and have watched every episode of Yo Gabba Gabba with my little man to keep him quiet and occupied while I take drugs and veg out on the couch trying to feel better… Now I will throw candy into the mix!
Well, at least they are honest. LOL
Soon, it will be money. That’s where we are. But, they have to pay me back when they do bad things. So, it all works out.
hahahahaha!!! that is jest sooo cute.
you did ask them: “What the hell do I have to do today to make you kids be good for more than 10 minutes?!”
you got their attention. they stopped and thought about your question. and answered innocently: sum candy will keep us good for more than 10 minutes.
i jest luv that!!! your ‘Get Well Soon’ card is definitely a keeper for when they is older.
DOODLEBOPS!!!!! How bad is that?!?! I listened/watched it from 8am and am still listening to “let’s get on the bus” right now and it is 6:45 pm. I must really be sick!!!!!
Oh, that’s too funny! Hey, you gotta do, what ya gotta do.
Doodlebops- OMG those things gave me nightmares!! LOL
One of my mom’s fav stories of screaming/flipping out on us kids- she’d just fussed at my middle sister for slamming doors because someone was going to get hurt. We were 2, 4 and 5 years old. Said she no more than got back downstairs, heard a door slam and me scream my head off. She ran BACK up the stairs where I’m holding my finger and screaming, grabbed my middle sister thoroughly warming her backside. When I caught my breath and could talk again, I told her I’d done it myself…. She sat down and cried with both of us.
Funny story but how low you feel at times being a good mom, haha
LOL! That is too cute!
Love that you’re a real mom – real person – hope you get feeling better! Love Love starting my day with a giggle!!!! Here’s to bringing on the kit kats and netflix!!!!!
Love it!! Glad to see I’m not the only mommy to resort to bribery. Netflix, DishTV, nintendo, Wii, whatever works + CANDY. Should be able to let you rest for at least a couple hours!!
If I’m really sick, I’d be willing to bribe them with sum crack (yes – I’m kidding).
Yes! At my house, I never run out of M&M’s! It’s the perfect bribe for my toddlers – I’ve learned to buy the mini M&M’s, so I can give them five that equal about one normal size.
Do what ever you have to – to make it through the day. One day of tv and candy won’t kill them!
Cash. Cold hard cash. And trips to Gamestop. If those don’t work, I leave the house for a Mommy time out. Hell, they are old enough to babysit themselves now, and if one of them kills another while I’m gone? Well, there IS a reason I have THREE boys. I mean, they are pretty much all the same
Hey, at least they are honest, so you know what you have to work with. It makes it easier than having to wade through what was said and analyze the heck out of it to get to what was really meant. Hope you feel better.
Thank you for the laugh. (I’m laughing with you) I just have one guy but some days it feels like three. I love there honesty, no beating around the bush for them.
I hope by now you are on the mend.
My kids LOVE movies… I don’t let them watch too many but when I’m having one of those days… it’s movie time!!! I get an 1 1/2 hour break. They’re happy – I’m happy! It’s a win-win!
I think you might have the funniest kids on the planet…lol! Hope you feel better soon
Hope you are feeling better! It’s a long time since I was in that position, since my son is 19 and living away from home at uni (in fact, now it would be good to have him around when I’m sick!).
But I was lucky that my mum lived round the corner and therefore would help out when I fell ill. If she wasn’t available, it would be cartoon TV and lots of cake!
Love, love, LOVE your blog. Your kids remind me sooo much of mine. Crazy days, but looking back (my oldest is now 33) –we had soo much fun. And smart? Honey, there isn’t a dumb one in the bunch. Those skills will take them far.
Hey, as long as it’s candy and not motorcycles, you can count yourself lucky. Loving your blog, you write so well about life’s little challenges.