Winning

 Posted by at 8:38 pm  Uncategorized
Dec 292011
 

Winning is in the eyes of the beholder.

We had two large family parties for Christmas and both had a White Elephant Gift Exchange.  We basically all bring a wrapped gift with no tag who it’s from, put it in a pile and all draw a number.  We then each choose a gift in order from the pile, or you can choose to steal a gift that has already been opened. Each gift can only be stolen twice so the third person that gets it is the “owner.” You know, because nothing says holiday spirit like taking nice gifts from your family members.

As always, there are a few real gifts that are stolen the max number of times, and also terrible (but funny) gifts you couldn’t give away if you tried.

This year we were 1/4 with gifts we could actually use; my husband snagged a gift card to a bagel shop, but other than that we got some fabulously bad Christmas gifts.

Thanks to my Uncle, I got not one, but TWO fire extinguisers. In his defense he didn't mean for this to be a bad gift. He's been living in third world countries for a number of years, and he's also a big Costco shopper. After a few holiday cocktails, he begins to get an accent and said, "What? Dis is not a bad gift! Your house on fire? Here, now it not burn down!"

The fire extinguishers were actually my second pick after a “Polska” scarf, perogies rug, perogies ornaments and perogies string lights were stolen from me. I actually really liked the Polish scarf (this is from my Polish side of the family I should mention). Even if I wasn’t Polish, who would want to pass on such fine Polish food decor?

I always loved Perogies...well, maybe not this much.

My Dad ended up stealing the Polish Perogi paraphernalia back from my uncle and trading me for the fire extinguishers…partly because he’s an awesome Dad and partly because he’s big on safety.

The other side of the family we scored real big too.  My husband is a quick learner and I hope he picks this up fast:

My husband was the big winner of the Belly Dancing Kit! Thanks, Aunt Terry!

I know, I know. You ladies are all jealous, but you’re significant others can learn belly dancing too. What a great gift for the guy in your life this Valentine’s Day!

And finally my other gift.

Really, this one is probably just what some people call karma.  You see, last year my gift to an unsuspecting family member was a giant throw blanket with my picture on it.  So this year, maybe it was fate that drew me to choose the gift that my cousin Bob had custom made:

Thanks, Bob, for the awesome throw pillow! It's beyond words!

Yes, Bob had a fabulous pillow made with his mug on it!  And apparently, I have one of you to thank!  Bob said he saw the website from a comment one of you left on a post about turning pictures into pillows.  So a big thanks to Bob for the lovely throw pillow, and a big thanks to whomever shared that wonderful website!

So there you have it. Another holiday come to pass…and this year, again, we were fortunate to be winning yet again!

Did you get everything you wanted this holiday season?  Get any stinker gifts?  Leave me a comment and let me know what goodies you got this year!  And while you’re here, click the link below to cast an automatic vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs. Just one click is all it takes! Thank you!
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Get that boy some coffee

 Posted by at 8:42 pm  Uncategorized
Dec 222011
 

There are several traits I always hoped that I would not pass on to my children.  Some are physical characteristics, some medical ailments, and others that are just parts of my character.  As any parent would probably tell you, I hope that it’s the best of me that passes to my children, and that the bad would somehow end with me.

For example:

My hair.

“Sweet infant Christ,” I would pray, “in your mercy and love, hear and answer me.  Please spare my unborn infant from the constant sorrow and debilitating nature of my cursed curly head.  I pray you might intercede and bless my baby with straight, natural hair. Amen.”

My wheat intolerance/Celiac’s/general irritable stomach issues.

I’ve been allergic, or intolerant, to wheat for the last nine years.  I’ve spent nearly a decade learning, often the hard way, to read labels, ask about ingredients, and pass up on dishes that I once loved.  Thankfully, my kids were not born with any food allergies, and I hope they don’t inherit my late-onset digestive woes.

My inability to fully awaken and function like a normal human being prior to 10am.

I’ve always been more of a night person, and as most parents will tell you, sleep is probably the first thing you lose once you have kids.  I’m able to get by most mornings now that I’ve had six + years to adjust, and I can even complete the necessary tasks like dressing myself and my offspring, feeding them breakfast, and dropping off Joey at school.  I drink 1-2 cups of coffee, but even with the caffeine, I don’t usually feel much like myself until around 10am.  By no stretch of the imagination am I a morning person.

Neither is my son Joey.

Since Joey was a baby he wanted to be up later at night and would always, given the opportunity, sleep later into the morning.  With school, my biggest problem has always been getting Joey to fall asleep at night and get him to wake up and actually get out of bed in the morning.  Every morning I make him stand up before I leave the room when I’m trying to end his slumber.  This gives me better odds that when I come back in five minutes to get him breakfast, he won’t be sleeping again.

Since Joey is six, I let him choose his own clothes the night before and I lay them out for him to get dressed in the morning.  Today is his Christmas party and sing along, so I had him choose from one of his button down oxford shirts to wear to school.  In his defense, he typically only wears shirts like this for pictures, parties and holidays, so maybe that’s why he got confused.  Although, I think it’s more likely that he’s got his Mom’s mental capacity in the morning, and the poor kid just needs some more sleep.  Check out how Joey dressed himself and showed up for breakfast:

Still sleeping...?

When I told him he had his undershirt over his oxford, he looked at me and said "I don't know WHAT you're talking about, Mom." Like there was something wrong with me. I love his expression here too. It says, "Yeah, it's how I roll, Mom."

Can anybody tell me when I can start giving this poor kid some coffee??

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I used to have nice things…then I had children

 Posted by at 4:22 pm  Uncategorized
Dec 212011
 

nice things

I change my decorations seasonally, but I have the most Christmas decorations by far.  It’s also my favorite time of year to decorate.  Coincidentally, it’s my children’s favorite time of year to mess with my stuff.

I learned a long time ago, not long after my oldest child began walking, that if I had something nice, something that was worth keeping nice, it had better be out of reach. This keeps my stuff -and my sanity- intact.

I have a few pieces that are expensive and a couple others that have been passed down and carry a lot of sentimental value.  Those items are visible but only behind locked cabinets.  Maybe one day they’ll make it to a more prominent location, but for now, that’s where they are safest.

My kids love to help me decorate, and especially at Christmas, I let them help as much as they can.  They also love to un-decorate, to move my decor around, oh, and they especially enjoy using my decorations to change up their play time.  Their favorite toys, by far, are the play sets they have, but playing with the same castle/fort/hero’s hub day after day can get old.  When that happens they like to incorporate the decorations into play time.

Here are just a few example of Christmas decorations turned play-things:

A scene  from Toy Story 4?  No one seems to hear me when I say, this is Mommy’s Italian No-Touch Nativity (and by Italian, I mean expensive) Set

Did I mention my kids have their own Nativity that my Aunt bought them from Hallmark? Well, they do, but there’s been some not so normal nativity nonsense afoot at the old stable.  Baby Jesus seems to be in peril, but thank God Joseph is a good Dad and is battling the great white shark trying to eat the poor helpless Christ Child.  Tigress from Kung Fu Panda has also put herself in harm’s way to protect our newborn savior, and someone called the cops.  Not sure who’s side the robot is on, but it’s probably best to stay back and wait until law enforcement works this mess out.

I noticed that there was a huge gap in the front Christmas tree where several branches were pressed down.  As I approached I heard a noise too. Squirrel?? No, someone had just placed a remote controlled tarantula in the middle of the tree.  Given the height of the spider in the tree, I’m guessing this was one of the boys, but I’m not ruling out Cecilia throwing it in there either.

I’ve found things down in my hurricane glasses often enough that I always pick up the candles and look inside before lighting them.  Sometimes it’s an army man or two, maybe a couple of crayons, or a Happy Meal toy, and not as obvious as the deep-sea shit our friend Diver Dan is in at the moment.  A lit candle would be the least of this guy’s problems right now.

Nothing says, ‘Season’s Greetings’ or ‘Welcome’ like a live door wreath infested with Velociraptors.

Really, this year, I’m counting my seasonal blessings.  With a new puppy and a 2, 4, and 6 year old we’ve only lost about four tree ornaments, the train for under the tree was broken, and one piece of a collectable house.  A Christmas Miracle? Maybe…

What items, Holiday or otherwise, do your kids like to mess with constantly?  Have you lost any household items to play?  Leave me a comment!

 

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