My Mary Jane’s clicked and clacked against the cold marble floor as we slowly moved forward. I stood in between my parents, holding my mother’s hand as my father held my bulky winter coat. My Mom reached down and adjusts the barrette holding my hair back from my eyes, and I fidget in the idle moments, distracted by the abundance of Christmas decorations, the festive melodies echoing off the high ceiling, and the other children all around me.
I can’t see what’s ahead of us, but I outstretch my free hand in hopes of grabbing the red velvet rope hanging just to my right. My mother’s grip is tight, and I can’t quite get my hands around the plush rope. My arm tires quickly and falls back to my side. I instead run my hands along the pink corduroy Oshkosh overalls I’m wearing and begin to fidget again .
Before I start getting really agitated, my father scoops me up, and I lay my head on his shoulder as he rocks slowly to the Christmas melodies that fill the air. It doesn’t take long for me to calm and close my eyes.
Somewhere between being awake and stepping into a dream, I feel that we are now moving forward, no longer to the beat of the music, but I don’t care. Still warm and comfortable, my eyes remain closed as we now seem to be ascending.
Suddenly, without warning, I’m pulled from the safety and comfort of my Father’s embrace and I feel an unfamiliar arm around my waist.
Oh, God! Where’s my Dad? Where’s my Mom?
I struggle to sit up and free myself.
I yell out, “Mama!”
I hear a deep, gruff man’s voice reply and I scream knowing it’s not my father.
“Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”
There are a thousand other voices around me, no one more terrifying than that of the man who now has ahold of me.
Bravely, I turn to face my captor.
I take one look at his strange face, totally unshaven for months it seems, with his gruff voice, unsympathetic and sarcastic jolly laughter, and his breath smelling of cigarettes, whiskey, and defeat… I panic.
My young eyes search for my parents, but another stranger stands in front of me obstructing my view of the crowd behind him.
“Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,” the music continues to echo off the dome shaped ceiling despite my cries for help.
Fight or flight kicks in and I choose flight.
I struggle harder against his grip this time.
I begin arching my back.
I kick my feet, swing my arms wildly and scream for my parents. It’s a cry for help that comes from the very fiber of my young being; a plea for help born from my young soul.
Then I hear a muffled familiar voice off in the distance.
It’s my father.
“Just take the picture…”
Wait? What the..?
Ho, ho, ho!
- This is me, in all my Christmas glory, with a mall Santa circa 1979.
Have I mentioned my fear of Mall Santas before? As in, they scare the hell out of me to this day…well, it doesn’t take a genius to figure this one out.
Do you do this to your kids? Been a victim yourself? Feel free to share in the comments. You’re safe here. We’re in the tree of trust. No one, including Mall Santa, can hurt you here.
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Its a bit bizarre that we tell our kids, over and over, don’t talk to strangers! And yet we then tell them to sit on some strangers lap, whisper secrets in his ear and accept candy from him.LOL
I have that same picture from 1969! No… I didn’t do it to my son.. we’d go to the mall (he is now 21) if he said no.. we didn’t do it, in his whole childhood I have one picture of him on Santa’s lap, let me correct – its me on santa’s lap and him on mine…he thought he’d be brave.. not so much….
I used to take Owen every year then I had George and then I stopped. The whole idea of waiting in line for them to possibly scream just to get a picture with a mall Santa. It’s really kind of weird when you think about it. We have a Santa that comes on a fire truck and the kids love it. They love fire trucks and forget all about how scary Santa is and go right up to him! Also we are supposed to trust and talk to firefighters right? Just works out better for us anyway. I always hated mall Santa too!
My younger sister had a deep fear of Santa when we were small – not Mall Santa the big man himself! She would have so many nightmares leading up to Christmas every year because the thought of this strange man coming into our house and bedrooms in the middle of the night petrified her, despite the fact that we were getting presents from him. We laugh about it now but at the time she really suffered!
I laughed out loud when I read this. I could so picture this happening. Somewhere is a photo of me, circa 1966ish, in a lovely dress, crying my eyes out while sitting on ol’ Santa’s lap. I need to locate that photo…
I cannot recall seeing a mall Santa as a child. Either we did not have them in my small country town, my mother did not take us shopping at that age, or she strategically avoided mall Santa so we would not nag her for a photo.
childhood trauma number 8751 averted. thanks mum.
I don’t make the kids pose with a fake Santa. They do choose to hang with him sometimes, but one of the twins, savvier than the others, aims a healthy dose of stink-eye his way. Even after he gives her a candy cane. Attagirl.
I don’t do it and I won’t do it until she asks. She’s 2 years old. I’m going to be doing other things (totally without realizing) that will probably send her running to a therapist. This one I’m going to avoid! Thank you so much for posting this because it really reaffirms where I stand.
Totally agree with you here, I have never taken any of my children to see Santa .. Why would I make them sit on a complete stranger’s knee? It’s bound to be terrifying!
I was ok with the idea of Santa but not with his noise. That ‘ho, ho, ho’ really threw me for a loop. Around age 4 or 5 I told my mom I didn’t want to sit on Santa’s lap b/c he would say that awful sound. So she talked to Santa and said he wouldn’t ‘ho, ho, ho’ til I was done. We have a great picture of me on the old man’s lap. Then we have a second picture of me kicking him! Turns out when I started to walk away he said his normal chant. I yelled to my mom ‘you promised he wouldn’t say it’. POW!!! Poor Santa didn’t know what was coming. I never had to get a picture with Santa again. Man I was a brat! LOL
I have only done that to my oldest, and honestly it wasn’t my idea. The husband of the daycare owner dressed up as Santa and the Easter Bunny every year. And they would get the kids pics with him. Emma did OK with Santa. But the Easter Bunny was a catastrophe. She was OK until some of the other kids got scared and ‘Pops” took his head off to try to show them it was alright. Talk about trauma! LOL.
My gift to my mom on my 18th Christmas was FINALLY getting a photo of me on Santa’s lap.
He skeeves me out and I never would sit on his lap (or anywhere NEAR that dude) as a kid. Or the Easter Bunny (don’t even get me started on that freakazoid).
OMG, I have that SAME pic of me in 1979!!!! Going to have to beg my mom to dig it our and scan it for me or something. I also have one of my son doing the “Santa scream.” I might even have that one right here on my computer. Love it!
Wow – poor little Suzi, I just want to give the little you a big hug and apologize for loving this picture so much! My kids both have a deep love for Santa and want to see him each year. Have your kids ever wanted to go?
I don’t really remember my mall Santas. I know my sisters and I would always beg my mom to take us when Santa was there. But what we really wanted were the free candy canes.
Low sugar household
Here we have this totally different experience called Kringle’s Inventionasium. You make reservations so there is no waiting in line, and you go through 4-5it different stations where the kids get to help Mr. Kringle invent new toys and such. By the time you get to see Santa”Mr. Kringle” the kids are just over joyed! Best experience ever!
I have a couple pictures with Santa from my childhood, and there are three of my own kids with Santa too, and none are unhappy or scary. Honestly it’s all about approaching it right. If THEY want to see Santa I let them, and I stay in sight of them also, never had a problem. However of the dozen Christmas seasons I’ve had kids there are three photos with Santa. I’d rather avoid that whole scene, but if we’re there and they ask, I don’t say no.
I have never been frightened of a mall Santa. What can I say I like to sit on stranger’s laps. My son so far agrees, I’m hoping this doesn’t last him past the childhood stage.
Nope. I’ve never forced my kids to show emotion and after the first few years of them just walking up and shaking his hands (there is no faster way to make the mama bear in me come out than for someone to try picking up my kids and forcing them to do something they don’t want to do) they lost interest. They’re now in the “too cool” phase (ugh, 13 and 11 year old boys!) so they act disinterested in anything to do with christmas or pretty much any holiday….. until a couple of days before the actual day
I don’t remember ever sitting on Santa’s lap! We got a picture once…with our first, Lillian, who is now four. It was her first Christmas and it was the most aweful picture ever. She had on this red dress with the tightest scalloped collar… she should never wear a collar like that again…I think at the time I thought it was cute and now I look back and can’t believe I actually showed anyone the picture
Santa was at our mall BEFORE thanksgiving! I just let them go up and hang out with Santa whenever we are there. They can talk if they want…or not… but at least get the free candy! We also have Santa come around on the fire truck and they collect for toys for tots. That was great to have the kids bring out toys for other children. Our youngest pulled Santa’s beard right off. Oh well….
I just went through this with my 2 year old. I got a photo of her that looks a lot like mine when I was her age. But I was determined we were getting a photo no matter her reaction. I did feel bad though, we had to pry her out of my husbands arms to get the photo.
just went out and bought my boys (6 and 3) matching shirts for their annual santa photo. I am aiming to feature in ‘Awkward Family Photos’ sometime in the future. 6 year old cannot wait. 3 year old is happy to follow his brothers lead, for now. i am predicting major santa meltdown when he gets up close. mwah ha ha ha.
Just went through the annual ritual with my kids… my little guy was wary! I don’t have a photo of myself with Santa but my hubbie has one – and it’s hilarious – perhaps I should post it on my blog.
Way back in 1981, just after I graduated from high school, I worked as an elf during the Christmas season. I had the job of putting the child on Santa’s lap, stepping aside as the Head Elf took the picture, then getting the child and escorting them out of Santa’s workshop. The only thing worse than the mother’s yelling, “Don’t worry! Just take the damn picture!!” over their screaming child’s objections, were the kid’s than weren’t afraid of Santa yelling, “I don’t wanna leave SANNNNTTAAAA!” as they were dragged away. I vowed there and then I would never put my child through that so we have zero pictures of them with Santa, not to mention none taken with any mall Easter Bunnies (that always look insane anyway).
Although one time after Santa’s break, one of the kid’s said that Santa smelled funny. Yep, Santa had gone to lunch with “Mary Jane.”
Ha ha ha! This post cracked me up because I have been there with my kids crying on Santa’s lap. I don’t even bother forcing them for the yearly picture. I decided when they are ready to be comfortable with the man in red then they can ask me.
With regards to “danger stranger”, I have taught my kids about that. Here is a little self defense training that we do:
http://ichoosehappynow.com/2011/12/06/family-relationships/self-defense-for-five-year-olds-teaching-my-son-survival-skills/
Cheers,
Louise
That is one of the funniest stories I’ve read!
In my son’s first photo with Santa the jolly man with the beard is sitting on the floor behind him. It was a concession to the fact that even at 7 months old, he wanted nothing to do with sitting on Santa’s lap. In the picture my son is happily smiling in a sled and is oblivious to the fact that Santa looks like he just wandered in through the side door and decided he was too exhausted to go another step.