Jan 252012
 

My kids have all taken turns sharing a respiratory funk over the last few weeks that I was lucky enough to catch as well.  Of course that’s what happens when a sick toddler tries to put one of her boogers in your nose.

I was down and out for most of last week, and I swear I looked like Gweneth Paltrow in Contagion.

contagion

Someone said, ‘at least you can pull off Gweneth Paltrow,’ which let me know they obviously hadn’t seen the movie.

Now that we’re right in the peak of cold and flu season, most of us have fallen ill at least once thanks to a nasty virus or bacteria. I’m certainly not alone there.

While at the doctor’s office last week, I was amused by a poster for ‘Avoiding the Flu’ which featured helpful tips for staying well.  Posters of this nature do offer some sound advice, but when you have small children, you really need to be very specific when trying to teach them these wellness tips.  As a parent, you may also find that these suggestions may need to be tailored to suit your own needs.

General Tip #1: Wash your hands frequently, especially before preparing or eating food.

Specific Kid’s Tip #1: Not all water is the same. When your older brother is at the sink, it is best to wait your turn instead of soaping up your hands and rinsing them in the toilet.

General Tip #2: Most cold and flu germs enter your body through your mouth, nose or eyes. Therefore keep your hands off your face which should help prevent germs from entering your system.

Specific Kid’s Tip #2: Having your sibling pick your booger for you will prevent germs from spreading from your finger into your nose; however, it will not prevent your sibling’s germs from entering your system. Please use a tissue in this instance.

General Tip # 3:  Get a flu shot if your doctor recommends it. Although it isn’t a guarantee, getting a flu shot each year is one of the best ways to prevent the flu.

Specific Kid’s Tip #3:  While you are waiting to get your flu shot at the doctor’s office, try not to catch the flu by licking the glass door which is covered in flu-ridden fingerprints.  This defeats the purpose of our visit.

General Tip #4: Eat healthy!  Foods like fruits and vegetables that are rich in antioxidants can help strengthen your immune system to keep you healthier.

Specific Kid’s Tip #4: Just because the United States Congress said pizza is a vegetable, doesn’t make it true.  Fruit snacks don’t count either. Eat your damn green beans.

General Tip #5:  Get plenty of sleep! Sufficient rest also helps the body function properly, and being well rested will further aid in your body being able to fight off illnesses.

Specific Kid’s Tip #5:  Go the f@ck to sleep!

There was also a suggestion to avoid sick people.  I suppose this means I either need to start home schooling or find bubbles for my kids to wear to school.  It is probably also going to further limit my already limited social calendar.

And if you’re a parent who catches a funk that your carrier monkeys brought home, remember, you get no sick time.  So rest when you can (turn on the babysitter-aka tv), drink lots of fluids (wine is a fluid, right?), and don’t worry about the laundry, dishes, etc.  They aren’t going anywhere!

What are your secrets for staying well?  Leave me a comment!

Just Say ‘No’

 Posted by at 6:49 pm  Uncategorized
Jan 232012
 

I just can’t stay away…not this time of year.  It’s not that I don’t want to quit, because I do. But it has its hooks in me, and I just can’t free myself.

Sometimes I can goes days, weeks, maybe even a month without it, and BAM!  Out of no where I’m sucked right back in.  It seems like the smallest problem can set it off, and I know I can handle it!  Why do I fall right back to using?  I know I can deal with this without it.

I’m educated.

I’m fairly smart.

I’ve even had a fair amount of real life experience.

I don’t need this to make me better.

It only makes me worse.

That’s right.  My name is Susan and I’m addicted to WebMD.

Please watch my video, WebMD: Just Say ‘No,’ and share it with anyone who you know that can’t stop self diagnosing themselves with one of the most ridiculous tools on the web.

I’m happy to say that I have been WebMD free for nearly four days.  I have high hopes that this time I’m off the site for good, but in reality, it’s probably just a matter of time.

Do you use WebMD?  Have you ever used WebMD and convinced yourself you had something that was way worse than what you actually had?  Leave me a comment!  While you’re here, please give me a vote on Top Mommy Blogs just by clicking the picture below! That’s all it takes!
Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory;

 

Jan 162012
 

In all my product searching for my other bad gift guides, I came across more than my fair share of bad gifts for couples.  More than any other holiday, I thought they fit best of all for Valentine’s Day.  Just for fun I threw in some other bad gifts ideas for both men and women in case any of you needed a little more variety in your bad gifts.

bad valentine's day gifts 2012

1. The Sweat-heart Sweet-shirt.  It’s a sweatshirt built for two!  So whether you want to take a walk in the park, go tailgating at a football game, or just to snuggle on the couch, the Sweat-Heart Sweet-Shirt will make sure your honey can’t escape.

2. Smittens.  Do you love holding hands, but you hate when you do it while wearing gloves? Smittens are perfect for the couple who loves to hold hands, but want to have their skin touching (and probably sweating) as long as they are bound together by fabric. Comes also with a left & right glove for your other hands.

3.  A cigarette holder built for two.  It’s long been said that the couple who smokes together, stays together.  How romantic.

4.  His and her furniture.  Seriously? I don’t even know what to say about these chairs.

5.  His and her bikini jeans.  I know how jealous all the men were when I posted the Bikini Jeans for women in a previous gift guide, and the fashion industry has heard and answered your prayers.  This Valentine’s Day you can turn heads together in your matching thong/jean combos! Hot damn!

6. Glow in the Dark Bra.  Your lady might have told you that she was hoping for a spark in the bedroom, but I promise this is not what she meant.

7.  Private Part Pant Expanders for Men.  Ladies, there’s never a good reason to give this gift…unless you’re breaking up with someone, then it’s just funny.  If you think your fella doesn’t have the, ahem, necessary equipment to fill out the Bikini Jeans, maybe you skip the jeans and buy some matching tee shirts.

8.  Bad Jewelry. They say it’s the thought that counts, but sometimes some thoughts are better left unsaid…or in this case unstamped. And yes, there is such a thing as bad jewelry.

9.  Anything weight loss related.  This should be self explanatory, but please refrain from buying your loved one any gym memberships, weight loss books, scales, etc. or you may find yourself alone next Valentine’s Day!

10.  Date night…with the kids.  Even if you can’t get a sitter for Valentine’s Day itself, celebrate another time alone. It’s a couple’s holiday, and you shouldn’t drag the kids along (literally).

What’s the worst Valentine’s Gift you’ve ever received?  Leave me a comment!

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