My kids have all taken turns sharing a respiratory funk over the last few weeks that I was lucky enough to catch as well. Of course that’s what happens when a sick toddler tries to put one of her boogers in your nose.
I was down and out for most of last week, and I swear I looked like Gweneth Paltrow in Contagion.
Someone said, ‘at least you can pull off Gweneth Paltrow,’ which let me know they obviously hadn’t seen the movie.
Now that we’re right in the peak of cold and flu season, most of us have fallen ill at least once thanks to a nasty virus or bacteria. I’m certainly not alone there.
While at the doctor’s office last week, I was amused by a poster for ‘Avoiding the Flu’ which featured helpful tips for staying well. Posters of this nature do offer some sound advice, but when you have small children, you really need to be very specific when trying to teach them these wellness tips. As a parent, you may also find that these suggestions may need to be tailored to suit your own needs.
General Tip #1: Wash your hands frequently, especially before preparing or eating food.
Specific Kid’s Tip #1: Not all water is the same. When your older brother is at the sink, it is best to wait your turn instead of soaping up your hands and rinsing them in the toilet.
General Tip #2: Most cold and flu germs enter your body through your mouth, nose or eyes. Therefore keep your hands off your face which should help prevent germs from entering your system.
Specific Kid’s Tip #2: Having your sibling pick your booger for you will prevent germs from spreading from your finger into your nose; however, it will not prevent your sibling’s germs from entering your system. Please use a tissue in this instance.
General Tip # 3: Get a flu shot if your doctor recommends it. Although it isn’t a guarantee, getting a flu shot each year is one of the best ways to prevent the flu.
Specific Kid’s Tip #3: While you are waiting to get your flu shot at the doctor’s office, try not to catch the flu by licking the glass door which is covered in flu-ridden fingerprints. This defeats the purpose of our visit.
General Tip #4: Eat healthy! Foods like fruits and vegetables that are rich in antioxidants can help strengthen your immune system to keep you healthier.
Specific Kid’s Tip #4: Just because the United States Congress said pizza is a vegetable, doesn’t make it true. Fruit snacks don’t count either. Eat your damn green beans.
General Tip #5: Get plenty of sleep! Sufficient rest also helps the body function properly, and being well rested will further aid in your body being able to fight off illnesses.
Specific Kid’s Tip #5: Go the f@ck to sleep!
There was also a suggestion to avoid sick people. I suppose this means I either need to start home schooling or find bubbles for my kids to wear to school. It is probably also going to further limit my already limited social calendar.
And if you’re a parent who catches a funk that your carrier monkeys brought home, remember, you get no sick time. So rest when you can (turn on the babysitter-aka tv), drink lots of fluids (wine is a fluid, right?), and don’t worry about the laundry, dishes, etc. They aren’t going anywhere!
What are your secrets for staying well? Leave me a comment! And while you’re here, give me a quick vote on Top Mommy Blogs by clicking the banner below! Thanks for your help!
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I love that my 3 year old will pick her nasty boogers and try to hand it to me with a big smile on her face like its a gift. And then I go to work (as a teacher) and gets hugs from all the extra boogery kids that apparently need extra lovin cause they aren’t feeling well. Probably shouldn’t have come to school if its that bad. But I hug them while trying not to breathe in their germs and then hurry to squirt the hand sanitizer to kill any that I’m sure made their way over to me.It’s really a wonder I don’t get sick more often.
You saw Contagion? Wow! I commend you sister. There is no way I could see that, I`m enough of a germ freak to begin with. I remember when the trailers for that movie where running, my Mum called me and said “DO NOT see that movie, it`s really not a good idea for you dear.“ Stay well!
Specific Kid’s Tip #2.1:
When I say keep your hands off your own face and your sister’s face, this also means keep your tongue off her face. Stop licking each other!
1. Never kneel in front of a sick kid, even if he needs his shoes tied: he WILL cough in your mouth.
2. Keep all drinking vessels above 5′ to avoid community cups, sick kid backwash, and someone sneezing into your coffee.
3. Sick Kids are not allowed to have fun or happiness: Laughing = coughing into siblings’ faces and spreading the contagion even more; Playing = running = tickling = falling = wrestling = someone getting hurt = tears/spit/lick swapping of contagion.
4. Mothers should dress in layers. Each time a child blows his/her nose on your shirt, peel it off to reveal a new, sanitary one (prepare to wear 28 shirts per day, per sick child…I’m pretty sure the thin “tissue weight tees” are made for this job).
How long must we wait for the Purell body wash?!?
Genius in action. What we need is a nice, full-color poster for your list.
I’m pretty sure Kim lives in my attic! With the amount of times that I have been coughed/sneezed in the face, you would think that I would have learned by now.
HAHA oh this made me laugh. Having three kids, I have built up quite the immunity but, I never EVER EVER take something out of their hand without asking what it is first. They try to hand me some nasty crap!
How to stay well? Don’t cook, don’t clean, and don’t do laundry. I’m sick of all of that stuff.
In Japan they wear masks all over. Not a great fashion statement but probably very effective at last outside the family home. I vote for doing that but I would also vote for affixing said masks on the faces of kids. Maybe with some duct tape?
Great suggestions! I’m recovering from strep throat – I caught from my kids. I knew I would eventually get it, because like was previously mentioned I get coughed on, sneezed on, and bodily fluids wiped on me all the time. Yuck!
A can of Lysol, Lysol wipes and hand sanitizer in each bathroom should take care of most germs! However, I too got the bug and was down for the count for an entire week. It aged me about ten years and I hope to never get that sick again…until at least next month!
As a mother who is going thru the plague week…I needed this! There is no bonding as three ill family members with one bathroom. LOL
Thanks for the laugh,
Nancy
I work in a lab and those of us there miss 90% of the stuff that goes around…just because we wash our hands all the time with regular old soap. The 10% who get sick…have young kids
Oh my gosh! Your specific kid tips were hilarious! I couldn’t stop lauhing!! I enjoy reading your posts, keep it up!
So, I’ve always like that ‘cough into your elbow’ suggestion. But the Kid Tip needs to include the following: ‘Cough into your elbow to keep germs off of your hands. Bur for the love of Maude don’t drag your snot-faucet all the way down your forearm, ending with a bare-fingered scrub above your now snot-encased upper lip. We are trying to keep the germs OFF of your hands. Please use a tissue.’
Can somebody please tell me WHY 3 kids, who would rather sock one another in the junk than give/get a hug when well, will go to any extreme possible to hug/kiss/wrestle/maul and otherwise swap body fluids with the one person they were ordered to stay away from to avoid becoming ill?
OH YEA… I SO get this! I think moms should wear hazmat suits at home, with IV poles attached filled with a mix of coffee and vodka. I’m just sayin.
Love your tips – but I must say eeewww to the booger one. Did the US actually declare pizza as a vegetable? How sad.
OMG…I just saw your video of “how to stay fit”…all I can say is that I was crying. a dribble of snot shot out of my nose as well. that was freaking hilarious! You are a hoot! Keep up the good work. And your “technician = Mr. Diva”…I have officially died and gone to heaven. lmaooo
Umm, yep. Wish I’d seen these helpful tips earlier.
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