I’m not a morning person, and having kids who wake me up early every day, hasn’t helped me morph into one.  Still, I dress and feed my children with a smile and do my best to get through our morning rush so I can sit down and slowly wake up with a gallon of some coffee.

I’m not sure if it’s the extra effort it takes to be pleasant despite my natural tendency to want to growl and hiss my way through the early morning hours, or if it’s just the pre-coffee energy that’s expended in trying to get everyone fed, dressed and off to school on time, but by the time my Keurig is brewing my java, I’m fumbling around the kitchen for my cream and sugar.

The gurgling and churning sounds of the coffee brewing gives me the extra push to find my other ingredients. Yesterday I needed it too since my husband has been in Boston since Sunday and I’ve been manning the fort solo.  This is usually not so bad, but all three kids have taken turns at night up coughing, sneezing, and generally being miserable.  Not having a partner to tag off with makes the nights long and the early mornings even longer.  Thankfully, he’s returning Friday and I plan on cashing in some Mom-Me time.

So Wednesday as I reached for the refrigerator door to fetch my half and half, I was running on fumes and not at all prepared for Jake’s blood-curdling scream.  As I quickly turned to rescue him from the grips of a zombie, or to perhaps fashion a tourniquet to stop the blood loss from losing a limb, or to save us all from a rabid animal that had found its way into our kitchen, I felt a surge of adrenalin that would have to give me the energy to face the crisis that was unfolding before my morning cup of Joe.

“Jacob!” I instinctively cried out to my four year old before I even turned all the way around.

I stood now facing my middle child, who prior to the primal sounding scream, I didn’t even realize was in the kitchen with me, and I was perplexed.

He wasn’t being killed by some monster.

All his limbs appeared to be intact.

There were no animals about to attack.

When he covered his mouth to stifle a giggle I didn’t know whether to hug or strangle him.  Before I could reprimand him for scaring me the way he just did, I points behind me, assumes a defensive stance, and yells out, “Dino attack!”

There in the fridge, this scene awaited me:

Thanks to Jake’s scream I was able to cut my coffee consumption in half that morning.

Have your kids ever taken years off your life with a trick?  Leave me a comment!

And I should mention that the voting at Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny Moms ended on Wednesday, and thanks your votes we made the list!  If you haven’t already, I encourage you to check out the full list (there’s 175 funny blogs) where you’re guaranteed to find some laughs!

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