10 Reasons I Know I’m Getting Older

Today is the 5th Anniversary of my 29th Birthday.

I’m reminded by people, mostly those who are older than me, that 34 isn’t so bad.  They tell me I really shouldn’t complain, and basically that being in your mid-thirties is no big deal.

Then there are those who tell me that I’m only as old as I feel.  I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m not as sprite as I used to be. Honestly, I can’t even putting a little bounce in my step without running the risk of pulling something.

Now, God willing, I’ve got a lot of life left to live.  Although I might not be over the hill, it’s just that the ascent to the top seems to be happening faster than I would prefer.

You want to know how I know this? Here’s how I can tell:

1. The last two pairs of shoes I’ve purchased were both made by Dr. Scholl’s.

Okay, these Dr. Scholl’s shoes are fairly trendy , but know this: I was specifically shopping by brand looking for the comfort and support only Dr. Scholl’s could give me (a definite sign of aging).

2.  I found my first gray eyebrow hair…I don’t even want to know what’s next.

3.  I’m worried about getting enough fiber.

4.  Gravity is no longer just a force that pulls two particles towards each other.  As far as I can tell, Gravity is a force that will stop at nothing until my tits touch my toes.

5.  My eyesight is failing.  I am in denial.  I finally admitted to maybe just needing a little extra magnification for reading so I purchased these snazzy glasses from Rite Aid (+.125) that I found while I was buying my fiber supplements.

6.  My back goes out more than I do these days.

7.  I haven’t been carded at the liquor store in YEARS.

8.  “Maybe she’s born with it…Maybe it’s Maybelline…” Or more likely, it’s Botox…

9.  With this body I could be a centerfold in a magazine…National Geographic.

10.  Mom jeans: Are they really that bad??

Okay, that last one was a lie, but I live with the fear that one day I’ll wake up itching to wear my first pair.

How do you feel about aging?  Is it really just a number? Or is that something we tell ourselves so we feel better on the anniversary of our 29th birthdays?  Leave me a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

(Per the request of my some readers on Pinterest, here’s the graphic:)

10 reasons I'm getting older


  1. nancy says

    I feel that aging is really an attitude ! Once you join the “mom” club , we are ALL the same age !! Here are a few things to remember …..you’re only young once, but you can be immature FOREVER(life is more fun that way ), in 10 years you will wish you looked as “bad” as you think you look today , and don’t knock the mom jeans !!(who tucks in anyways !!)

  2. says

    I have celebrated my 27th year of being 25. The gravity thing is true. The south will undoubtedly never rise again. It is sad when all my children are older than me by a few years. But it is true, with age comes a type of wisdom. My new favorite phrase is “I’ve been your age, you ain’t ever been mine.” and follow with a story that sometimes is true and appropriate and sometimes I make up on the spot and has nothing to do with the topic. Who can argue. I’ve been their age. And it seems to be my current form of entertainment. I now wear funny old woman hats and say it is cool. I can do things that I wouldn’t do before because I just don’t care what people think. I even dated someone that was moments older than my oldest son. So…. you decide

  3. says

    I never really noticed too much at age 34. However on the 3rd anniversary of my 39th birthday, all of these things do really apply to my life. Except the Mom jeans. I go about aging with this in mind: you are only as old as you feel, think or act. I suppose in some cases this can’t be very acceptable in some social settings. To quote a great man this is my life motto:
    “Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy shit…what a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

    It keeps me young. Happy Birthday Love!

  4. Sarah says

    Oh my goodness, you’re too funny. I absolutely love reading your posts. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Hope your day was nothing short of amazing. Filled with silence, relaxation, and plenty of wine. *cheers* :-)

  5. Tara says

    Right there with ya sister – 36 in a few weeks. Although I am fatter and the grays are coming in and the lines are showing on my face, I like myself a lot more than I did at 26.

  6. Helene Renee Canfield says

    Wow – what am I gonna say – I am a freakin’ 80 (the body is 80 – the mind is so much younger)
    There is so much I can’t do anymore, but my Grandchildren and Great Grandchildren bring me Joy. But I do get away with saying pretty much what is on my mind now – when I was younger I had to think twice. Live as much life as you can however you can – I married a man 6 years younger than me – and he sees to it that I stay young in mind and heart!

    • John Matthew Halloran AKA, matthew says

      Helene, that is so absolutely wonder to hear. I turned 62 this year. I love, living life. And your story gave me sweet chill. Thank you, youngin’.

  7. says

    Happy birthday!!! :) Hahaa…yesss, I can relate on all levels. But then again, I REFUSE to get OLD. I’m turning 45 in 2 weeks and I wear glasses when my eyes are tired, I have grey pubes (the HORROR, thank God they’re only a few) and I am a little more tired more often than I used to be. My son is 22 and my current boyfriend is 25 (my ex of the last 3 years was 24 when we split) 😉

    I agree with what Tammy said above…about doing/saying whatever the heck I wanna do now. My child is grown and life is AWESOME, for both of us :) I don’t give a flying fig for what anyone says I “have to do” anymore…and my obligations are only to myself and my heart. Trust me, although gravity IS a biatch, life only gets BETTER for women as we age :) I promise!

  8. Nancy says

    Thanks for filling my day with some laughter when I “tune” into FaceBook after work. But, I do have to say that I just celebrated the 25th anniversary of my 29th birthday………….and I don’t feel too darn bad! I refuse to grow up and I have as much fun as I can every day that I can! Life is what you make of it…..and I choose to embrace it and love and laugh as long as I can!

  9. Mari says

    Heck I’m turning 38 in less than a month I’m battling stomach cancer have a teenager and 8 year old two very naughty dogs and a hubby I feel like I’m a 100 but I keep on….lucky for me sometimes I get carded and then I feel like a million dollars!

  10. Carol Wine says

    I’m proudly 55. I do math like this: first 20 years wasted growing up. Subtract 20 from 55 , I’ve really only been doing my thing for 35 years….I have every reason to believe I will live to 95 or another 40 years. Given that, I’m not even middle aged? PS never ever ever wear anything that resembles “mom” anything. Happy birthdate, you are just getting warmed up!

  11. says

    I’ve got a year and change on ya, and it’s not so bad. until your oldest asks daddy how old he will be on his next b-day, daddy asks you and you tell him his current age because you are in denial. then daddy insists you whip out the cellphone calculator to correctly calculate your own age, then add 2 for him. Assholes, the lot of ’em.

    You look mahvelous! And I think your back, my knee and my right shoulder should go out together sometime…at least parts of us should get some action!

  12. Lydia says

    This is neither witty or funny, however this one experience changed my entire perspective on turning another year older. I was the ripe old age of 20 when lost a very dear friend of mine from my childhood. He was a Marine and was practicing one-on-one combat when he was struck in the head which caused a brain aneurysm, ultimately costing his life. From that moment on I have celebrated my real age and never, ever cursed the awkward things happening to my body. I have learned to celebrate every milestone in my life, as there are others who have not made it to my point in life. Live it up! Turning another year older is a beautiful thing!!! Celebrate & Enjoy! Happy Birthday!

  13. Kellie says

    I am 34 myself although (and highly appreciated) people mistake me for being in my mid-twenties. With that said I shake my ass on the dancefloor on occasional weekends wearing my teenage daughters best shirts (and sometimes jeans) with a great pushup bra (of which I couldn’t afford in my twenties) and duly act as old as I feel. However, the next day my body reminds me of what my mind seems to so easily forget. I am 34.Every single ache and pain screams it as to slow me down and keep me in check.

  14. Tess says

    Man! I was in denial about being 28, but I am the only child in my family that doesn’t have a grey hair, My brother shaves his head to deny his balding grey head, my sisters dye their’s… but I have the most health problems.

  15. says

    Happy happy birthday. Hope you have many more of them. I’ll tell you another way to know you’re getting old (I realised this a couple of weeks ago). When you reach that awkward age when you feel your boobs on your body. You have about 12 years to reach that age though. 😉

  16. says

    Honey I’ve got one foot partially in the grave and the other in the purple polka dot overbust corset Leslie bought for me to celebrate my new “Boob job”
    lol Who’s the real commediane her or me?

  17. jessica edwards says

    I’m actually turning 29 this year, and I’m not even handling THAT well! (Please hold back the eye rolls) I found my first grey head hair, and nearly plucked a bald patch trying to remove it. On top of that, my 4 year old likes to tell people I’ll be 39 this year, their response is at least, ‘oh, you look good for your age.’

  18. Beth says

    Happy Birthday!!! I am 46, and remember my early 30’s being stressful.
    Nearer to 40, you’ll realize that gray hair isn’t so bad, they make really great dye, and noone else knows that your boobs are lower because of the iron bra you’ll wear, and spanx holds in that 5 pounds you gain, (yes, it is true that you put on a few a year). But girl friends are more fun because all of the kids are leaving home, and you can afford a slightly better box o’ wine, and it is really nice to not have to follow the current fashion trends and wear what makes you feel great!! Embrace it, I am having the best years of my life!!!

  19. says

    Everyday that I wake up and I stretch without hitting pine is a pretty good day. I, like you, am 29 +….well plus 8 but the closer I get to 40 the more I realize that this is who I am…so everyone can suck it if they don’t like it…and it is just a number. Easy for me to say because today isn’t my birthday. Do something awesome today!

  20. Corinne says

    I turned 34 in February, and I can relate to every single one of your reasons! Thanks for the giggle, and the realization that I’m not the only one!!

  21. says

    Happy Birthday, Little Chicken! Try turning 40. I would kill to be 34 and only have the problems associated with 34 again. I have a chiro on call now for back issues – if I play the Xbox a little too vigorously I throw out my back. I have grey hair everywhere, not to mention random grey chin hairs. I’m going to check out Dr. Scholl’s now, because I haven’t worn anything but Crocs in five years. Happy Birthday, funny lady!!

  22. says

    I have my 18 year old nephew living with me which has given me a rude awakening that 30 is just around the corner. I realized I no longer belong to that age group even though it feels like yesterday. I stay up until 2 am watching Futurama with him and being naughty with my husband, but wake in the morning wishing I went to bed at 8 pm with my 2 little daughters. Grey hairs have been quickly multiplying on my head for years, but in true”teenage” rebel fashion I refuse to dye them. Part of me thinks they are battle scars which I should be proud of.
    I’ll be 29 this year, and although I realize I am not old, I know I’ll never be 18 again :(

  23. Corporate Wife says

    Happy birthday!!!

    You forgot #11–You cannot trust a sneeze (or a cough. Or a trampoline).

  24. says

    My daugter celebrated her 19th birthday yesterday. Yes. That made me feel old.

    Just wait until you’re in your 40’s and get a Schick Lady-Stache, a pair of support hose, or a hair net for your birthday. Yes, they are all practical gifts for a woman my age but seriously, I’d rather get the latest Justin Bieber download or a sweet new pair of wedges. Problem is the that at my age, both could result in injury — especially if I attempt to bust a move wearing the shoes while listening to “Boyfriend.”

  25. says

    I was thinking the same thing the other day-that I haven’t got carded in..forever!!!! Sometimes I wish they would just ask! lol!!!! (I must be younger than you though because I’m still not wearing Dr.Scholls!!! LOL!)

  26. Greta says

    My most traumatic birthday was 27!! Now 34 (count ’em!) years later, my son is 40 and age isn’t really a factor anymore. The older you get the more freedom you have to be yourself. We don’t stress out about getting dressed up to go to the store, can go wearing the clothes I was painting in! We don’t care if you like it or not. Judgement from others is not a factor in our decision making! Love it!

    • Amanda says

      Love your reply! I am really embracing myself now at 36 and with 3 kids. The only one who I care about who cares what I look like is my hubby, and he loves me. Being younger was a thrill ride…now I’m content to take a carriage ride.

  27. John Matthew Halloran AKA, matthew says

    I feel by hanging with a crowd younger than myself, driving a muscle car, and never, I mean NEVER looking in a mirror has kept me youth full…at 62. So, all you children, buck up. the worst is yet to come.
    I remember when being stiff in the morning was a GOOD thing!

  28. says

    Happy Birthday! Each year has it’s benefits and life is what you make of it! You will be great at any age, enjoy it!
    PS..Save up for a mommy makeover, LOL!

    • Wendy Segler says

      Hi to all of you and all the best at doing our best to conquer(or at least learn to deal with) this aging THING!!!!!! I just discovered this site, and shouted Hallalleh, a site I can totally relate with!!!!! Thank you so much to the one that started this. So refreshing!!!!! I would love to have any of you email me at Wendysegler12@gmail.com. You are all so funny and fun and this is such a great topic to joke and have fun with. I am 67 years young in my head, but my body has a mind of it’s own!!!!! Hope to hear from any and all of you! Cheers to Aging!!!!! Wendy

  29. Amanda says

    I do feel weird about aging, on the one hand I just can’t believe I saw my first “age spot” on my hand, but also, I find that now that I’m older I really like myself. It took a long time to get here! My late teens and twenties were rife with insecurity…I feel like I’ve “settled in” to my body, finally.

  30. Donna says

    Ugh I just turned 30 last month, and all I want to do is go back to my teens…. boys, binge drinking, smoking, and concerts. I guess I’ll just go change another dirty diaper =P

  31. says

    I will always be 2 years older than you, my dear.
    I’m happy to get older, since the alternative isn’t so appealing. But I hear you…my knees go out more than I do, and I found a black hair in my eyebrows. Which is odd, since I am blonde. I think it was an Old Lady hair that got lost on its way to my chin.

  32. says

    Buy your wine at Wal-Mart. They’re supposed to card you if you look under 40. I’m 41 and was thrilled when they did this to me. For me, the key was that I was wearing a pony tail. Okay I admit, that at first I though they were carding me for looking under 21, but I take what I can get. Buy a good pair of tweezers- the $7 and up variety not the 2 for a buck kind. I’ve been having my hair colored for ten years (I like being a red-head and in reality I’m a brunette) so I have no idea if I have grey hair or not. I was 35 when my oldest of three children were born. My youngest is two. So while I am officially crazy, I think – how old can I be if I have a two year old? Just remember this is the youngest you’re going to be in this lifetime and have as much fun as possible.

  33. efie says

    I am 37, I have made two kinds my body is a stranger, my belly is like flat ballon, I have 15 kilos extra, my body ackes everywhere but I feel more confident than my 25, strange ah? happy birthday!!

  34. mandi says

    Saturday was also the death of my early thirties, I feel your pain. Although I’m blonde and (due to an unfortunate incident) I have no eyebrows, i cant see any gray hair, my boobs also feel the need to meet my toes. The true sign of my age was learing the guy that sold me my new iphone on my birthday was born the year I graduated from high school, and he called me ma’am…alot. So in short Happy Birthday to us.

  35. says

    I turned 45 yesterday. Can’t wrap my head around pushing 50. Started needing readers last year. Have a spare tire this year. The pants I fit into last summer —one year after having my last baby— no longer fit this year.
    and ya know what comes next? Gray you-know-whats-down-there =P
    Happy Birthday!!!

  36. Stephanie says

    At 26 I had life saving surgery. I’ll be 39 in a few days. I know it’s a matter of perspective, but every year is a blessing & much better than the alternative!

  37. says

    I refuse to accept that age makes me older lol. My little brother passed away at 25 and I am reminded life is short, so enjoy it while you still can. I will wear low rise jeans for as long as I can, and when I can’t wear them I will damn sure never step into the mom jeans section lol

  38. says

    I had trouble going from 29 to 30 but now it doesnt bother me most of the time. I did get a little upset when I had my youngest an I had to go for extra prenatal testing due to my “elevated age”. I was 34 I went crazy on the doctor. She said well you’ll be 35 when the babies born so we have to be careful. I proudly responded no I wont she is due is Sept my birthday is not till Oct. PPPPPLLLLLLL I know a little childish but I was taking it. Elevated age my butt wait till I show up in a couple years pregnant again pushing 40 wonder what she’s say then. Happy Birthday and old people don’t behave the way you do so don’t worry.

  39. Theresa says

    im 36 and feel every bit old and yes i wear the mom jeans.my mind is young but my body feels older.love the laughter i had from you.

  40. says

    I just turned 33 back in May so I feel ya. I had no idea that Dr. Scholl’s made heels!! This is epic news lol! I have “computer” glasses that I bought at CVS, same magnification as yours, but I find myself “forgetting” to take them off all the time *Ahem* I have only been carded twice in my whole life. The day I turned 21 I went to buy a pack of smokes and a 6 pack, at like 7 in the morning, just because I could, and the clerk never batted an eye. I asked her ” Don’t you need to see my ID?” * Totally wanting to flash that bad boy* and she said ” No, we only do that if you look under 30..”

    I went home and drank the damn beer at 7:30 in the morning.

    So happy late birthday, and please allow me to say, you are beautiful! 😀

  41. Julie F. says

    I would kill to only be having the 5th anniversary of my 29th birthday. Unfortunately, I’m going to be celebrating my 10th anniversary of my 29th birthday next month. Ugh! I don’t feel like I should be this old.