It’s been weeks and still no sign of Fred, our Elf on the Shelf. At this point, he’s still Missing and presumed dead (you can read about that here).
Personally found the Elf rather creepy. I always felt like he was silently judging me when I sat around drinking wine from my holiday mugs, but I knew I couldn’t replace him with just any inanimate Christmas spy.
And I certainly wasn’t buying another elf.
No, these kids needed something that would really get their attention.
I’d like to introduce you to our new and more effective holiday tradition…
Not every child, has a little Elf
at holiday time that sits on their shelf.
Sometimes an Elf is just way too much fun
and Santa’s little helper can’t get the job done.
So kids if you’re more naughty than nice,
better pay close attention and start thinking twice.
Santa might have one more trick up his sleeve,
and it starts with your Elf having to leave.
Now, Santa won’t give up his eyes on the ground.
In fact, there’s already a replacement he’s found.
He’s not quite as cuddly and may look a bit scary,
but that’s just the outside, deep down he’s quite merry.
So who’s the new guy that Santa has found?
For starters he hails from Santa’s home town.
The Troll from the Pole is this fella’s name,
and the Spirit of Christmas is this helper’s game!
He’s short and he’s green – the color of holly
and with a suit just like Santa’s, he’s rockin’ the jolly.
He’s got a big belly and loves cookies too,
but he’s not here for snacks, he’s here to watch you!
At night he calls Santa to talk about you.
Telling him all of the stuff that you do.
When acting sneaky, doing things that are bad
Your Troll always knows the day that you’ve had.
Although an elf moves to a new spot each day,
At times, you’ll find, a Troll likes to stay.
When he hears shenanigans, he’ll stomp and make noise,
and trolls have been known to hide naughty kid’s toys.
When you leave out your stuff or lose a library book,
you can bet that your Troll will get a good look.
Better clean up that mess! Eat all your veggies!
And don’t give your brother any more wedgies!
A Troll can be quite merry, misbehaving makes him sad,
He doesn’t want to tell Santa when you are acting bad
That makes him feel grumpy, then he acts naughty too!
Be on your best behavior, then it won’t happen to you!
Grumpy Trolls will tie up all of your shoe laces,
They’re even known to fart in sleeping kid’s faces!
Of course if you’re good, you won’t need to worry,
but if you’re acting naughty, then you’d better hurry.
Christmas will be here before you know,
If you want presents your good behavior must show.
And make no mistake what your Troll will do,
every night he’s telling Santa all about you.
So give him a name, and give him a hug,
you can even try to bribe him with a candy-filled mug.
But if on Christmas you want toys that are new
being good every day is what you must do.
The Troll’s job is to help you be good after all,
so remember he’s watching, every deed big and small.
Listen to your parents, be kind to every friend,
With the help of your troll, Christmas will be Merry in the end.
© 2012 Susan McLean / Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva
Do you have any non-traditional holiday traditions for kids? Do you think the Troll in the Hole will work on mine? Leave me a comment and let me know what you think!