10 Bad Mother’s Day Gifts for 2013

Back by popular demand, it’s this year’s Bad Mother’s Day Gifts!  For the 3rd year in a row, whether you want to avoid giving the mother in your life a bad gift or if you’re looking for a passive-aggressive way to let your Mom know she makes Betty Draper (Mad Men) look like June Cleaver, then this is the best-worst list for you!

(Be sure to check out link to the Bad Mother’s Day Gifts from 2012 and 2011 at the bottom of the post)

1.  The Fat Magnet.  This $20 kitchen gadget is supposed to remove unwanted fat from your food. First of all, you’re insinuating that your Mom needs to worry about removing the fat from her food, and secondly, there is no way this device actually works.  If it did, I’d have 10.  Spend the $20 on flowers, or better yet, it’s Mother’s Day, go buy her some chocolate!  Source

fat-magnet-1

2. Double Kitchen Canisters (aka automatic toddler feeders) – Let’s call a spade a spade on this one.  This is entrapment.  Who hasn’t had a morning where you want to sleep in and tell your toddler to go make breakfast themselves?  With this automated cereal dispenser, you can pretend you toddler is a cat and they can eat what they can dispense while you sleep in.  Of course, I’m not saying your Mom would do such a thing, but don’t tempt her either. Source

toddler feeders

3.  Predator Claw Rings – ($900.00 per paw) I’m usually not at a loss for words, but this time I’ll just leave you with a suggestion.  How about a gift certificate for a manicure instead? Source

predator claw rings

4. Trendy Fashions – We all know trends come and go, and what one person calls trendy another might say is…well, I don’t have words for this fashion fail.  Thanks to Facebook follower, Jill Hector, for this wonderfully, tragic find – The Steve Buscemi DressSource

Steve-Buscemi-Dress-front-back

5. Carpet Sandals – We’ve all heard of the carpet matching the drapes…but what about the sandals?  Wait, what? Source

Carpet-Sandals

6. Gold Poop Pills – These gold infused pills will turn your poop sparkly!  Now, I’m not a medical doctor, or an accountant, but spending $435 on pills to put some pizazz in your poo <insert jazz hands> seems like a dangerous waste of money.  Maybe buy Mom something made of gold she can wear like a necklace or earrings…or hell, just let her use the bathroom alone! Thanks (for lack of a better word) to Facebook follower Katelyn Thompson for finding this very, very bad gift! Source

gold pills to make your poo gold

7. Wake-n-Bacon Alarm Clock -  Is Mom always complaining that she never gets breakfast in bed?  Well, she won’t be able to complain anymore when she is awoken to the aroma of (sort of) fresh cooked bacon next to her be in the morning with the Wake-n-Bacon Alarm Clock!  Source

wake-n-bacon-

8.  Food Dress – These amazing dresses were created by artists Artist Yeonju Sung and comprised of fruits and vegetables.  Maybe I’d suggest these as a gift if they were made of something more delicious like candy or french fries, but as is, even a fashionable styled salad, is still just a salad.  Source

food dress

9. Wearable luggage -  Moms are always complaining about not having enough space in their purses, and most Moms are looking for that everything bag.  This is not it. These ponchos may carry up to 33lbs of luggage, but there’s no room for pride, shame, or a positive reputation. Source

wearable-luggage-jaktogo

10. Hana Tsun Nose Straightener - Does your Mom have a crooked nose?  Does it make her hard to look at and love?  Well, for just $49USD you can make your Mom’s nose more socially acceptable and visually appealing.  Source

Hana-Tsun-Nose-Straightener

Still need some more bad gift ideas?

Check out the Bad Mother’s Day Gifts from 2012 and Bad Mother’s Day Gifts from 2011!

Keep an eye out for my 3rd annual Bad Father’s Day Gift Guide, coming soon!

What do you think?  Would you like to receive any of these gifts? Anything tickle your fancy?  Leave me a comment & let me know how you like the list!  I’d love to hear from you!

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  1. says

    So many options to wear, so little time! I just can’t decide if I want to wear Steve Buscemi’s face, vegetables, or my luggage! I think the vegetable dress would set off the carpet sandals and my sparkly poop quite well. LOL!

    I think I’ll stick to the list I made for my birthday, since I have yet to get to have my sort of night out (thank you, puking child.) Happy Mother’s Day!

  2. Karen says

    Lmao!! Great list! I actually LOVE the sandals!!! What a great way to keep the entry way free of shoe clutter..well, at least when the weather is nice, and if the kids feel like wearing those, or if they don’t kick off other shoes in the entry way as they are dropping their jackets and backpacks and papers and oh who am i kidding?! This wouldn’t solve anything except more crap to pick up and put away! Lol

  3. says

    I’ll take 1 set of the wearable luggage, 2 sets of the claw rings and 10 sets of the fat magnet–God knows I need it…! Sadder But Wiser sent me over—hysterical post!!!

  4. Julie says

    Add to the list: ceiling fan. I got this for my first mother’s day and my husband spent all day installing it while I took care of the baby! I also got a wallpaper remover for my birthday once, too.

  5. Debra S says

    NO WAY the make your stinky stanky sparkle? Is that FOR REAL???????? TOO MUCH! Too weird!
    Am I a bad bad mother because, this year, what I WANT for mother’s day is a Child FRee day??? A bottle of wine, a movie and NO ONE AROUND??

  6. MelindaB says

    I would actually kind of like the bacon clock, although I have to wonder just how healthy it is to have the bacon in there overnight. Maybe a clock that makes coffee?

  7. says

    I’m way late on this one but had to let you know that I’m amazed that you can keep coming up with this shit! I love that your fans are sending you bad gift ideas. My fans send me articles about bad moms and/or bad children. “Hey, I saw this article about a sociopathic child and thought of you!” I’d much rather have, “Look! You can swallow gold and have pretty poop. Totally thought of you because your poop is ugly.” That’s how it happened, right?

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