4th Annual Bad Holiday Gift Guide – 10 Gifts so bad they’re actually awesome

It’s back, and for the 4th year in a row, I’ve got some gifts so bad that they’re actually awesome!

So whether you’re looking to give a funny gift, something unique, or just a down right bad present, check out this year’s list:

1. Get Yer Beard on with Beardski! $26-35  Have you always wanted to look like a prospector, but just can’t grow that rugged mountain man beard?  Ever look at a pirate and feel pangs of envy over his dirty face-dreads?  Do you love the Viking look, and long for beards of old?  Or maybe you’re like me and you can’t grow more than a Tom Selleck style mustache, and you want the warmth – and style – that only a long beard could bring!  Well, look no further than the Beardski! As described on Amazon, Sport this insulated ski mask with comfortable lined neoprene, woven thermal fleece and stylish 12″ synthetic beard on the slopes, riding your Harley or exploring the polar ice cap. This universal one-size-fits-all design securely holds the mask in place and is easy to wear/remove. The advanced mask design covers the ears, face and neck from the harshest of cold-weather conditions. Waterproof too!  Git Yer Beard on!

Beardski hat beard Collage the santa the prospector the pirate

Choose from a number of styles including:  The Prospector, The Santa, The Pirate, The Viking, The Zeke, The Merlin, The Rasta, The Harlee and more! Get your Beardski today!

The beardski beard hats for the totally awesomeIf you’re looking for something a little more subtle, might I suggest last year’s ever popular, BeardHead Knit Beanies.

lumber beard hats for the totally awesome

2. Beer Hoodie Sweatshirt with Beer Pouch 29.81-59.99 Don’t you hate when you have to put your beer down when you have to do something like push your kid on the swing at the park, mow your lawn, get frisked, or help an old person cross the street?  I know I felt that way, but not anymore!  The makers of this simple yet genius sweatshirt want you stay warm, but want to keep your beer cold!  Pocket is lined and insulated and because of the elastic pouch, it can accommodate bottles, cans, and more! Comes in five stylish colors, sizes S-XXL.  Special thanks to Heather Redding for sharing this great gift with me!

beer pouch sweat shirt

3.  Beard Beer Can Koozie (aka Beer Can Merkins) – $10.95 (plus shipping) I don’t even know what to say about this 1st place winner of the 2012 PBR Craft Show, so I’ll just tell you what amazon says…Give your favorite brew a manly mane of (facial?) hair with the Beard Koozie. Made from crafting fur that’s mounted to a stretchy band for maximum beer container compatibility, they feature a “mouth” opening to let a portion of the label shine through, and will instantly make you the coolest drunk at the party.   I’m not sure there’s ever going to be a burlier – or funnier – way to drink a beer.

beard beer cozy

4. Portable Travel Pillow – $32.64 I’ve featured some fun travel pillows in previous gift guides, and I love anything that could help me get some much needed rest.  Regular travel pillows are okay, but they’re missing something…I didn’t know what until I saw the U Hood Patented Travel Pillow with Hood!  It features memory foam, draw string closures, and an eye visor, and it’s perfect for traveling on planes, trains, buses, or anywhere you need to stop what you’re doing and take a nap.  This dude knows what I’m talking about.

travel pillow with hoodAnd if you need some more privacy, or want to ensure that no one comes anywhere close to you, might I suggest the always popular The Original Authentic Ostrich Pillow from a previous gift guide.  It’ll scare the hell out of anyone who sees you, and it’s only $99!

ostrich pillow

 5. Reusable Toilet Paper – $0-$31  Every year I include an item that angers hippies people.  I’m not saying that this doesn’t have practical use for some people, and if you want to clean toilet paper that your kids, husband, neighbors, friends, family, and assorted house guests have wiped on their dirty rears, who am I to judge you?  This gift is here for the hard to buy for, ultimate eco-friendly friend this holiday season!  It’s also the perfect present for anyone who thinks that giving something that the receiver will later have to scrub poop off of is a good idea. So whether you’re looking to save the earth, or tell that special someone to “clean my poo!” check out these options.  I saw this link for stylish patterns on Etsy on the Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms, there’s also bulk options with other patterns and solids available from $11 – $22 here, or plain Reusable Wiping Cloths from Amazon for about $12.  You could also just cut up your own old cloth to make reusable t.p. as well for free.

reusable toilet paper options

6. Finger Nose Stylus – Do you know someone who just can’t put their gadgets down even while bathing or showering?  This Finger Nose Stylus looks like just the solution!  Instead of worrying about your device getting wet in the tub, just type or text with your nose!

texting gadgetUnfortunately, I’m not sure where to purchase this one, so you’re either going to have to DIY or maybe go with a *gasp* real gift like the Sony Xperia Z Tablet (which I own), and is water resistant. I may or may not have lied and told my family that I was cleaning the bathroom while I was actually watching Netflix in the tub (and for full disclosure Sony sent me the tablet for free, review coming soon, but the opinion of it being a great option for watching Netflix in the tub while lying to your family about cleaning is fully my own).

7.  Reef Dram Flask Sandal – Limited!  Last year, I showed you Reef Men’s Fanning Sandalwith the hidden bottle opener on the bottom.  This year they stepped it up, with the Reef Dram Flask Sandal but it appears to be unavailable on Amazon as well as the Reef site.  These sandals allow you to carry a shot’s worth of booze right in your shoe!  There was one pair, listed for a whopping $118 on a site Google found for me, Bonanza.  But hurry, that seems to be the only one available anywhere on the web!

reef dram flask sandal

8.  Walking Shelter Tent in a Shoe –  Have you ever been walking along and been suddenly struck by the urge to pitch a tent and camp?  Do you have someone on your gift list that’s a little more than just an avid camper?  You know, a real camping enthusiast? Well, this amazing product isn’t available at your local sporting goods store – yet – bu t if you wanted to try to get your hands on one, you could check out the maker’s website here.

walking tent shelter shoes

9.  Remote Control Holder Headband – Do you know someone who is always losing their remotes?  Do they seem to just get up and walk away?  Well, I’d love to see them try while they were stuck to their head!  Never lose another remote!  What a practical gift! Unfortunately, this is another DIY, and is not yet available in stores.

headband for remote controls

10.  Bacon Lover’s Stocking Stuffers – People love bacon – that’s a fact.  If you know a bacon-lovin’ fool, then some of these cheap and bacony products might fill their stockings as well as their hearts this holiday!  Try bacon deodorant for 24hrs of bacon scented body odor protection, Bacon Lip Balm, Bacon Soap in Tin, Bacon Flavored Toothpaste, Bacon Candy Canes, or Boss Hog’s Bacon Fragrance Spray!

bacon gifts Collage

What do you think?  Would you give or want to receive any of this year’s bad gifts?  Leave me a comment and let me know, I’d love to hear from you!

Stop by and enter my Bad Gift Giveaway going on through 12/10/13!

Still need some gift ideas?  Check out some of my older gift lists:

10 Bad Gifts that I’d Want for Myself this Holiday (2013)

10 Bad Gifts for the Holidays (2012)

10 Horrible Gifts for the Holidays (2011)

10 Horrible Gifts for the Holidays (2010)

9 Bad Father’s Day Gifts (2012)

10 Terribly Bad Mother’s Day Gifts (2012)

10 Bad Valentine’s Day Gifts (2012)

8 Horrible, Terrible, No Good Gifts for Babies (2011)

10 Bad Father’s Day Gifts (2011)

10 Bad Mother’s Day Gifts (2011)



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  1. says

    “While getting frisked,” bwahahaha. Yeah, I know someone who has that sweatshirt and he is way too old to be a frat boy, the only demographic who can pull off that shirt.

    BTW, I WANT that hoodie travel pillow thingy fueled by a burning desire to never be bothered on a plane again. The ostrich pillow went too far into crazy land, but that is perfect. Ellen

  2. Susan says

    Oh my…they’re all so good…er…bad…er…whatevs. Anyway, my favorite would have to be the beer can coozie. Who doesn’t need that???

  3. Leah Whitson says

    Thank you for this I laughed so hard I cried!! I’m so happy to have come across this posted today,I really needed the laughs!I’m totally digging the Tent shoes & oddly I kinda liked everything BUT the reusable T.P and the bacon soap,chap stick–YUCK!! 😛 My fave is the Ostrich Pillow and beard goggles. You gotta love the things in life that make you or other people laugh(even if they’re laughing at you from time to time.;) <3

  4. says

    I’m just…I…I’m….speechless. These are just so amazing. On the one hand, the sandal flask is pretty awesome. On the other hand, the tent…wow.