You may remember that back in August I did something that I never do.
No, not crying and hugging a stranger on an airplane…
Well, I did do that, but it’s not what I’m talking about.
Remember the day I took a nap?
I know I do; mostly because that was the last time I was able to take a daytime snooze.
It lasted all of 17 minutes, but I woke up feeling refreshed.
I was perhaps feeling a little overconfident yet still a bit wary that my home was still intact, all three of my kids were still in one piece, and was simply left wondering if I had been asleep at all.
Maybe that’s why I wasn’t all the surprised to find out hours later that while I snoozed, someone did this to me:
I knew I couldn’t have made it off that easy. You can read the original Case of Mommy’s Tramp Stamp here which is worth if you didn’t catch it the first time because of course I wasn’t alone when I realized that I had ink stamped all over my back.
Anyway, I had questioned the three suspects, the smallest of the bunch being at the top of my list, but I had no hard proof. She’s a pretty good liar for only being four years old, and subscribes to the George Costanza theory of truth – it’s only a lie if you believe it is…
Steadfast in her story, I quickly ran out of clues, and with no new leads the case simply went cold.
Until this morning while my daughter and I sat together reading books. The first three were all Christmas themed books, and when she handed me her fourth selection I let out an audible sigh.
My Little Pony.
The show is unbearable, but the books aren’t much better.
As soon as I opened the crappy pink cover and read the first few lines though, a virtual light bulb went off in my head.
“Have you ever had a cutie mark?” I asked her.
“No, Mom! I’m a person!” she laughed.
“So people can’t have cutie marks? I thought one time you gave me a cutie mark that was made of cakes and donut stamps while I was sleeping on the couch…” I said very nonchalantly.
Forgetting that she had lied about it before, perhaps the fear of punishment was more real in the first moments of interrogation, she continued to laugh saying, “You’re just like a horse!”
She tries to go into an explanation, but it’s at this moment that I put my whole hand over her face and say, “Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”
She rolls around, laughing.
“You’re a horse! You’re a horse!”
I try catching her to shush her again, and think that I should have just left it alone knowing in my mind that I solved the case. What do I need a confession for? The evidence is looking me right in the face. It all makes sense.
“You’re big like a horse….”
I really opened Pandora’s box, I realize.
“You’re hair is like a horse…”
Oh, I almost forgot about that one:
“You let me ride your back like a horse, and if I had a horse it would be my best friend just like you,” she says slamming the book closed.
And with that I’m closing the book on The Case of Mommy’s Tramp Stamp…
And banning all My Little Pony Toys.
Do you have any toys that are a bad influence? Or any characters that your kids love, but you hate? Leave me a comment, I love to hear from you!
(And while you’re here, visit my Giveaways Page for a chance to win a Huffy Bike and a Wine Sack!)