I realized this morning, when the third person in just over a week asked if I was feeling okay, that I’ve hit the peak of my winter paleness. Having been out of the sun since October, my skin has now lost any and all of that sun kissed look.
So how pale am I? Let me tell you.
1. I could pass for someone who’s been living underground.
2. I make the dude from “Powder” look tan.
3. I’m so white that I’m now reflecting light. Use caution when I’m around because I cause some serious sun glare.
4. My kids keep losing me outside because I blend right in with the snow.
5. Flu patients and I share the same skin tone.
6. My last foundation color was Ivory, but that’s way too dark now. My new foundation color is Blanched Albino.
7. I keep trying to get other people to go pale by spreading the catch phrase, “Pale. It’s the new tan.” It’s not working.
So if you see me, no I’m not ill. Just really, really white.