As parents, we all have moments of self doubt.
Just about everyone of us has probably felt like our parenting was under some level scrutiny from time to time as well.
We’ve felt judged by other parents.
We’ve felt judged by people who aren’t even parents.
Hell, we’ve even judged ourselves!
Any of these things can make us feel equally bad about ourselves…except when it doesn’t.
Sometimes I feel like I should be calling into question my behavior, my feelings or even my motherly motives. I actually feel like should be thinking, “You are a bad mother!” …only I don’t.
Maybe that makes me horrible? Honestly, I don’t know. Feel free to judge for yourself.
5 Things I do as a Mom that I should feel bad about (but don’t):
1. I throw away broken toys – Yes, that’s right. I throw away perfectly good trash! You know, things like puzzles that are missing half the pieces, crappily made carnival toys that were honestly doomed from the start, and other toys that weren’t properly cared for and are now broken beyond repair. I’ve spent the last month and a half trying to organize my house (that’s another post altogether), and I realized something: My children are hoarders and without my callous ability to throw out things that are obviously trash, we might all be buried alive. If you saw the look my kids gave me as I was gathering their garbage however, you’d know that I should probably feel really, really bad about tearing them away from their treasures for the rest of time…only I don’t.
2. Sometimes I tie my kid’s shoelaces for them – When it comes to children learning how to tie their own shoelaces, “Practice makes perfect,” is what I always say…except when we have to get out the door in less than an hour and 42 minutes in which case I jump in and do it for them. Yes, yes, that’s right; instead of patiently waiting for my children to master a skill like learning to tie their shoes, I do it for them on occasion. Perhaps I need better time management skills. Perhaps I should be telling them a couple hours in advance to get started, but until I master that skill myself, I won’t be feeling bad about hurrying them along when we’re in a rush.
3. Sometimes I don’t display all of the art my kids create (and sometimes I recycle it) – My five year old brings home approximately 100 papers a week from Kindergarten, all of which she wants to keep. She also loves to color, draw, and write notes; in fact, my husband and I are the recipients of 10-20 artistic creations a day. Instead of allowing us to swap out pictures and school work on the refrigerator she wants to display ALL THE THINGS. No room on the fridge? Tape it to the pantry door. Pantry door is full? Tape it to her bedroom door. Bedroom door is full? Display it on her closet. Closet door is full? “What about your closet door, Mom?”
Listen, I love that she has a passion for something, but remember how I said I was afraid we were hoarders? Well, if I let the paper and the broken toys pile up for more than a couple weeks, you might never see us again – literally. Besides that, all of my kids go through an awkward (and thankfully passing) art phase where many of their drawings take on a very….phallic-natured look. You might remember the fun we had with our front door and some window crayons? Our neighbors can attest to some interesting driveway chalk art too, so sometimes I just have to say no to hanging my kid’s unintentional dick art on the fridge.
4. Sometimes when my kids talk to me about their hobbies I totally zone out – Listen, I love my kids and of course I want to foster open communication with them. I want them to know they can come to me and talk about anything at all…but if that anything is Pokémon or Zelda or generally video game related, I zone the hell out. Maybe it’s a coping mechanism and my brain is doing it on a subconscious level because I can’t seem to help myself. Although I sit there and pretend to be attentive, on the inside I’m like this (and don’t feel bad about it):
5. The hobbies I do share with my kids aren’t always typical – Okay, so I hate Pokemon, but that doesn’t mean that my kids and I don’t genuinely come together and connect in other ways. We love watching movies together, for example. Like any good parent, we watch all the Disney movies, I endure some of the other kid-favorites, and then when they got a wee bit older I got to introduce them to the classics – you know, like Spaceballs.
Listen, my PG (Parental Guidance) may not be the same as your’s, but assure you that I’ve guided them through the hilarity of many a Mel Brook’s movie, Spaceballs being a favorite of my 7 & 9 year old boys. In fact, it’s one we’ve enjoyed together so much that my kids can pick out short, random quotes. Recently I was describing my daughter’s reaction when a kid from her class began throwing up at a lunch table by saying “Check please!“,and to that my 9 yr old burst into laughter and said, “Oh man! Spaceballs!”
Perhaps I should feel bad that these are the quotable movies in my house…but I don’t.
Is there anything that you do that you should feel bad about…but don’t? Leave me a comment & let me know!