I’ve done over 20 Bad Gift Guides (see them here) in the six years I’ve been blogging, but calling them all bad gifts really isn’t fair.
Some of the gifts border on the unusual while others are just hilarious. The gift guide has become more about funny products and items that I, and so many of you, see and think would make for a perfectly imperfect gag gift.
The last two holidays I did Bad Gifts that I wanted for myself because I consider myself the type of person who not only likes to give, but also receive, funny gifts. Truly, I am disappointed however, because no one bought me a single thing on my list (so either my husband thinks it’s a trap or he doesn’t read my blog – further investigation seems to be in order). So this year, rather than make another list for myself, I’m including items that I think would be great for Moms who love to laugh (or who give crappy gifts and need to get some of their own medicine). Enjoy:
1. Santa’s Flask – Ho, Ho, Ho! 14.99 – “The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that Mom’s favorite chardonnay would soon be there…” or something like that. Who cares? It’s a gift that will show Mom you know she loves being filled with the holiday spirit(s)!
2. World’s Okayest Mom Mug $12.99 – This gift, as you may remember, I already own, so I can tell you with certainty that there’s no better time to celebrate the mediocrity of motherhood than first thing in the morning while you’re trying to drink your coffee. Anyway, let’s be honest, we can’t all be #1.
3. Classy as Hell Boxed Wine Dispenser, 3-Liter, Stainless Steel $93.03 – This was one of the items I included on that list of gifts I wanted, but never did receive. Perhaps it’s because it’s a bit more expensive, but come on! This might be the classiest way to drink boxed wine, and a necessary small kitchen appliance, if you ask me.
4. Funny Footwear like the Narwhal USB Heated Slippers $36, Microfiber Mopping Slippers $5.68, Lego Brick Slippers $35.00 – I love getting new slippers, and since it’s around the house that I’m (typically) wearing them, why not make them fun? Last year I suggested the LEGO Slippers, another item I cannot check off my list yet, but I love the idea of the heated slippers shaped like narwhals (because, narwhals), or the lazy Mom’s helper, the mop slipper.
5. I Just Want to Pee Alone $5.99 Wait? You didn’t know I was one of the contributing authors of the New York Times Best-Selling Humor Anthology, I Just Want to Pee Alone? Well, I am and if you know a Mom with a sense of humor get her this book so she can laugh, cry and hopefully read it in peace.
5. Wine Clutch (or lunch tote) with corkscrew $19.99 – These insulated bags – big enough to hold a wine bottle and that come with their own corkscrew – are a great way to gift Mom her favorite bottle of wine. Plus, if she’s stylish and eats lunch on the go, these can also be used for food. Fancy!
6. USB Animal Hand Heating Mouse Mat Pad $15.98 – If the Mom in your life is anything like me, her feet and her hands are always cold. Sure, you could adjust the thermostat, but if you’re buying her a pair of narwhal heated slippers, why not throw in a fun animal hand warmer too? That should keep her from whining about the cold.
7. Ultimate Cookie Spoon $5.15 – We’ve already established by the boxed wine dispenser that some Moms are a little more affluent than others. That doesn’t mean, however, that she doesn’t enjoy some of life’s creature comforts. For example, this cookie dipping spoon. Let Mom maintain her sophisticated style while she eats some cookies by the sleeve.
8. Cards Against Humanity $25 – Since we’ve established Mom has a sense of humor, if her friends do too, give her this game for the next dinner party, book club, or any time they might want to sit around and laugh until they cry. Simply put, “Cards Against Humanity is as despicable and awkward as you and your friends.”
9. GOLD GLITTER SPARKLE BLING TOILET SEAT $206 – Because I listed a silver glitter shitter cover on a previous bad gift guide, and SO MANY PEOPLE emailed me to ask where they could find one in gold, I went digging. For the low, low price of just $206, you can give Mom a laugh and a toilet seat made for a queen. Although, she’d probably settle for a plain one that you’d clean your damn self.
So what do you think? Would you love to get any of these items? Will you be gifting any of them? Leave me a comment, I’d love to hear from you! Be sure to keep an eye out too for the 6th Annual Bad Gift Guide, coming soon! Until then, check out the whole Big, Bad list of gifts that are funny, unusual, and just plain bad here!