Jersey Shore’s “The Situation” (source)
After posting my 7 Worst Fall Fashion Trends, I knew I would catch some slack. Before I even wrote it, in my mind, chances were I probably had some bootie-loving, poncho-wearing, feather-sporting readers. As usual, I’m perfectly content to let other people have their own opinion, and I was just happy no one commented and said, “Susan, you are totally wrong about the cropped shirts.”
After receiving a handful of emails from people saying I should really give some of these looks a try, with several offers to even receive and review free ponchos (is it my lucky day or what?), I decided they might be onto something. Don’t knock it until you try it, right?
So this past Thursday, for Fashion’s Night Out, I met my favorite photographer and friend, Amber Shader, at a local major department store to try on and photograph a few of the Fall Trends I so easily knocked in on of my last posts.
We headed to the Women’s Department where I effortlessly found some the most visually offensive trends. It was like a poncho paradise in there, and if you love animal print and faux fur, you would have thought you died and went to heaven.
Amber tested the light in the empty area between the dressing rooms as I easily dressed and sported some of the Worst Fall Fashion Trends of 2011. There were no other customers, not surprising given the majority of the apparel on display, so we quickly went through the first half dozen garments.
As Amber was shooting, and I was posing, I kept noticing a fast moving male who kept looking over at us. “Perhaps he was a curious customer, or a Domestic Diva fan,” I thought; even though I knew he was more likely store security. I ignored him, and poor Amber with her back to him, didn’t notice him conspicuously popping his head up between the racks.
After posing in a gold sequin dress which I accented with a leopard print (don’t worry it was faux) scarf while laying across their couch, I went to get dressed and look for more Fashion Don’ts for the season. The silence of the empty dressing room was broken when I heard a male voice begin questioning Amber on who she was, what she was doing, and who we were. I knew the not so undercover male that had been oddly popping around the racks had made his move while I was in the dressing room.
Amber answered that we were there for Fashion Night Out, true story because she had a table in the Mall for the event, and that we were just taking some pictures of Fall Trends. I reappeared from the room, immediately went over and introduced myself, gave my company name (I’m incorporated which I think makes me sound more legit), and answered the same questions Amber went through.
The male, who was clearly no fashion expert himself, told me he “wasn’t sure we were allowed to take pictures in the store.” He asked for my phone number, which I happily provided, and then disappeared for a moment as Amber and I continued to browse for more items not to wear. He reappeared, seemingly pleased with his bust, and asked that we remain in the area so that the store manager could come and talk with us.
I wanted to ask if he was fucking kidding, but didn’t want to rain on his power parade of store authority because this was clearly a big deal to him. So Amber and I continued to browse as we waited for the manager under the eagle eye of the Women’s Department watchman. At this point I felt horrible that my website antics had Amber, an actual professional, in this situation, but she seemed to think it was as ridiculous as I did.
The store manager came down and introduced herself and asked that I tell her what we were doing. I explained that I had a company/website and that I had already done a piece on this year’s fall fashion trends and now I was taking the styles online and having them photographed on an actual person, me. Seems simple enough, right? Well, for whatever reason they weren’t getting it.
I asked them if I was allowed to purchase the items and be photographed in them, and they said it was more about how the store was being portrayed. Amber stood by and silently supported me as I repeated my purpose and may or may not have used words like “fashion blog” and “professional” a few times when referring to myself. I’m really proud of Amber who didn’t once laugh at me while I went back and forth with the Fashion Police.
In my conversation I may have left out that my work, and I use that term loosely here, is for my website where the blog portion are strictly humor, and the piece I was writing was on how awful the clothes they were selling and advertising as popular were. So imagine the Fashion Police’s surprise when Amber volunteered to show them the pictures she took of my laying across a couch, wearing double animal print, and sporting on of the worst ponchos I could find. We both just stood there and pretended to be serious about Fall Fashion, and I assured her that were there any issues with our pictures that she could contact me.
Thankfully, we were released with the photos intact and Amber is still speaking to me, but the bad news is we didn’t get to finish taking pictures of the worst trends of the season (we never got to the cropped shirts, booties and feathered fedoras).
Take a look at some of the pictures, so generously done by Amber Shader Photography, and tell me what you think:
I can’t be sure, but I think this particular poncho was made of Buffalo Hide and Rabbit Fur bits
I will say one good thing about ponchos…you’re always ready no matter how big or small to wear one.
Who knew I was setting trends with my Leopard Leotard that I wore last Spring for my Workout Video? This spandex leopard print turtle neck screams fashion.
Do I dare do Leopard Shirts with Leopard Scarves? Oh I dare. I dare.
Although I did not find a plaid sequin outfit like the one I posted about, I couldn’t pass up this gold sequin dress accented again with the leopard scarf and black bra strap. Hawt.
The final pose, which in retrospect probably threw up the most red flags with the Fashion Police. However, in my opinion, if you don’t want people laying around, don’t put a couch out for them to use.
I’m still waiting for the call from the department store, which if you’re half as sluethy as the store’s Fashion police, you might be able to guess which store it was. Although, I must say, I’m pretty insulted that they wouldn’t find me fashionable enough to wear and promote these trends as I had told them. Maybe I’m the new Situation and they’re the new Abercrombie. I half expect them to call me and offer me money not to wear their clothing.
Special thanks again to my friend, Amber for having a sense of humor and donating her time and talent to my nonsense. If you live in the Delaware area (she does do some traveling), check out her website which featured some awesome work and portraits of people, pets and more. You can find it here http://www.ambershaderphotography.com/ and Amber’s also on Facebook and Twitter too. Show her some love and “like” her (hopefully she’ll do more Domestic Diva stuff in the future still after this little fiasco).