Bad Bedtime Poetry

So rest while (and where ever) you can, Mamas....tomorrow is a new day!

Is it the constant onslaught of winter weather that leaves me so tired at the end of every day?  Is it a case of the “Winter Blues?” I swear I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, I am in desperate need of some light therapy (and regular on the couch head therapy too, I know). Or perhaps […]

Hi, Pat!

SNLs-non-determinate-sexed-Pat

I buy my diapers and wipes in bulk at Sam’s Club, so please tell me how I ran out without realizing it yesterday just hours before a snow storm.  Having no desire to fight the snow-a-phobics, who stock up like they won’t be able to get out of the house until Spring, I decided I […]

The Joys of the Season

Joey and Jake Christmas 2006. Joey loves holding his baby brother.

There’s plenty to stress about this time of year, and for me taking my kids pictures in Christmas outfits for my annual holiday cards is not one of them.  Every year I just take their pictures and put the best or the worst on my annual cards.  It saves me the public embarrassment of miserable […]

What? No tip?

fedex_man

‘Tis the season…for awful germs and illnesses that is.  My son Joey began throwing up Sunday morning, while we were  an hour from our home at the beach, and the poor kid continued to puke for another 10 hours.  I had spoken to the doctor, and being seasoned at this type of illness would normally […]

State your purpose, son

first five

Parents often document their child’s first year in a baby book/calendar and some even record the child’s milestones through early adolescence.  Each of my own children has a “First Five Years” book that catalogs all the milestones that happen from birth through Kindergarten.  The beginning of each book is full of spaces and pages for […]

Don’t make me regret this…

My kids hit big milestones and cash in on my bribes rewards for good behavior at the most inopportune times.  For example, when Joey finally started pooping on the potty (which came a whole year after peeing on the potty), I was 7 months pregnant with Cecilia and had 22 month old Jake in diapers […]

To hell and back, a Department of Motor Vehicles Tale

Some days you just know are going to be bad days.  The sun might be shinning, the birds might be singing, but you’ve got that feeling deep down telling you to hang on, it’s gonna be bad.  Although, I must admit,  it doesn’t take a psychic to know a trip to the Department of Motor […]

My pants are white, but my face is red…

I love my white linen capri pants. They are light and comfy, shabby and chic.  They are probably the next best thing to keep cool in the hot summer months other than wearing shorts.  Have I mentioned I hate shorts? My chubby Mom legs are pale, and I find it awkward to constantly walk around […]

Please Pass the “Off”

bug house

There are some days that I worry I won’t have anything “funny” to post about, then I open my eyes, look around, and remember where I live.  I’m so glad that you all enjoyed the muddy messy mongrel story from last week, and I’m even happier to report we have not had any more dogs […]

Today was a day gone to the dogs…

toffee-the-muddy-golden-retriever-puppy

The last two days it rained and rained; I’m talking Noah’s Ark type rain. Aside from having an afro due to the high humidity levels, and having to wake the kids up early Tuesday morning because of a Tornado warning, I’m really not complaining about the weather. My water bill has been absurd this summer […]

The things they think, and I wish they would not say…

Many of you reached out to me after my last post, with a variety of comments and emails, after reading how Joey basically asked a stranger in the grocery store whether or not he was heavy due to over consumption of pizza. You all tried to wrap me with words of comfort, some assuring me […]

A day for the record books…

Yesterday was one of those days where you knew you should have just stayed in bed…of course my job as a Domestic Engineer comes with exactly 0 vacation days and 0 sick days, so I suppose getting up was really my only option. My morning started around 5:38am when the summer sun began bursting through […]

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