I know I’m not the most fashionable person. I’ll be the first to admit it. So that’s why, after I said I didn’t “get” the Target Missoni clothing, I went ahead and tried it out for myself…well, sort of.
My point is that I try to follow the don’t knock it until you try it rule. Sometimes perhaps, I’m too quick to judge.
For example, in my 10 Horrible Gifts for the Holidays post, I list several products, like Bacon scented cologne and and Ostrich Pillow for napping at work. I sit here, in the comfort of my home, assuming that a man smelling of bacon grease is a bad thing, or that a person who places their head and hands inside a pillow and naps at work is ridiculous. But have I tried these things myself?
No.
I actually received several emails a couple months ago when I posted on Facebook about an apparently hot ticket and beloved (to some) item, The Forever Lazy. Presumably, those people must work for Forever Lazy, but regardless they had a good point.
Dear Susan,
I know you were probably joking this morning when you put up that picture to the Forever Lazy. I just wanted you to know that it’s actually a great product. I keep my thermostat lower and still stay warm. Plus, since it’s not like a blanket or a robe, it’s so easy to move around. I’ve even worn mine to a college football game.
Just thought you should know.
Sincerely,
Mary T.
Clearly Mary T either works for Forever Lazy or maybe she’s married to the CEO.
But it did get me thinking though…
So I ordered my own Forever Lazy, wore it around, and had some pretty surprising results (and this is not a Sponsored post):
Baking was a breeze in my Forever Lazy!
Outdoor Christmas decorating could be a real pain in cold weather, but it's no problem with the Forever Lazy!
You know me and my I.B.S., but it's not a worry with an easy rear access!
Even if the weather's cold, I can't be too lazy! The dog still needs walked, and now I can stay warm too!
And of course, the Forever Lazy is perfect for just laying around!
And the results? Okay, so they weren’t so surprising, it is as ridiculous as it looks on TV. I was warm though, and I’m kicking myself for not ordering pink.
What are your favorite As Seen on TV products? Are you a Forever Lazy fan? Leave me a comment!
While you’re here,take a quick second and vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs by clicking the link below just one time…that’s all it takes! I’ll consider it your gift from you to me (cause it really is!) Thank you! ;
Anyway, onto the main event. If you’re looking to give the best-worst gift this year, want a gag gift that will surpass all others, I hope that you’ll consider the following:
1. The Ostrich Pillow. Have you ever had one of those days at work where you just wanted to stick your head, and possibly hands, into a sack and take a nap? Well, have I got the product for you! The Ostrich Pillow provides a cozy, dark, cushioney cave for your head and hands that fits right on your desk! It’s not conspicuous and provides the perfect portable retreat for that much needed mid-day siesta. Just don’t stay in there too long, I’m not completely certain it’s suitable for breathing.
2.Canned Unicorn Meat. Forget Spam! Get some canned meat with some Sparkle! For just 12.99 you can get 14oz of canned unicorn meat! That’s right this magical canned meat has crunchy horn bits in every bite! Made up of ground up wishes, dreams, smiles, magic and more, you’ll taste the enchantment in every bite. Perfect to dip or spread on sandwiches. You’ll be shitting sparkles and farting pink bubbles with this glittery meat. Seriously, I have no idea if this is edible, but I’m telling my kids it’s what I did to the Unicorn that shit on my dining room carpet in August.
3. Jersey Shore Christmas Tree Ornaments. Nothing puts me in the holiday spirit quite like The Jersey Shore. The poofy hair, spray tans, slutty clothes, and FIST PUMPS! Now, that’s what I’m talking about. HSN has this fabulous Jersey Shore 3-piece Ornament Set featuring The Situation, Snooki and DJ Pauly D ready to hang on your tree. Perfect, they say, for fans of the show, the soulless, and perfect for the person who has everything. All for just 24.95!
4. The Daddle.Traditional rocking horses are so boring! Thank goodness there’s the Daddle! That’s right, Dads (or Moms), get down on all fours and have some real fun with your kids. This saddle is soft, washable and a great way to interact with kids ages 2-6. All for just $55!
5. Clip on LED Lights for Glasses. Do you know someone who likes to work in the dark, has poor vision, and wouldn’t dare wear something as ridiculous as a head lamp? Well, why not try out the stylish and functional LED clip on Lights for Glasses! Super bright LED lights will really brighten someone’s holiday!
6. Essential Travel Reserve a Spot in Heaven Kit. Remember all the questions I had about The Rapture? What to wear? What to bring? Well, had I known for the low price of just $14.79 that I could reserve a spot in heaven, I wouldn’t have stressed at all. With your purchase you’ll receive an official Reserve-a-Spot-in-Heaven reservation certificate, an official Reserve-a-Spot-in-Heaven identification card, their informational guide to help you navigate your way (no GPS required here), and the best part about this product…it comes with a 100% money back guarantee if your reservation is not accepted! source.
7. Limited Edition Talking Honey Badger Dolls. Okay, I’m going to be honest, I love honey badger. I wish I could be more like honey badger, but I bet there are lots of people who wouldn’t appreciate such a terrible gift. Is that Lucy Lawless enjoying wine with hers? I have no idea where to buy a Limited Edition Talking Honey Badger Doll, but if it’s real somebody better buy me one!
8. Bacon Cologne. Now I love bacon as much as the next guy, probably more actually, but is this taking it too far? Well, I’ll leave that up to you. For just $36 you can smell like bacon grease all day.
9. Chum Buddy. Know someone who is terrified of sharks? Well, next to immersion therapy and getting them in a shark cage in the ocean, this is the best thing. The Chum Buddy sleeping bag/body pillow, available at Sears for the low, low price of $608 at the time of this post, can accommodate up to a five foot victim, I mean, sleeping person. Perfect also for scaring the hell out of young children.
10. The Japanese Snuggie. Giving the Chum Buddy a run for it’s money is the Japanese Snuggie. Forget the standard Snuggie…don’t even mention the newer Forever Lazy products, this bad boy takes the cake. The problem with those other products is that your arms get cold. This wearable sleeping bag will keep you warm and cozy to -20 degrees. Okay, I’m not sure if that last part is true, but this guy sure looks snug! Source.
Would you like to give or receive any of these gifts? Leave me a comment and let me know! If you need some real gift ideas for the Holidays, check out my nice gift guide too for some great ideas! Plus, check me out on Facebook where we’re giving away a new Huffy Kids Bike starting 11/25 through 12/13 plus a ton of other great prizes!
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Well, I’m enjoying yet another Mid-Atlantic Sprummer where we seemed to have skipped over the moderate and median temperatures associated with Spring, and have gone from our frigid winter weather right into sweltering heat and oppressive humidity. In fact, as I sit here in my living room with the blinds closed, a tall glass of tropical punch Kool Aid (yeah, I said it), and as close as humanly possible to the nearest vent constantly blowing cool air, the heat outdoors is well into the 90′s with the heat index simmering around 102 degrees.
Over the holiday weekend the temperatures at the beach were not quite as unbearable, however, no one would argue that it was anything other than hot with heat indexes into the 90′s. The occasional gust of wind felt like someone’s hot breath hitting your body, so there was little alternative to cooling off other than taking a dip in the pool, bay or ocean. Having a cool beverage was also a must, and I was alternating sips of my bottled water and pressing the chilled bottle against my face, neck and chest.
Despite my best efforts the heat and humidity left me with a beach afro, flushed skin and the inability to stop sweating. If I had a bikini I would have worn it just in the hopes that less clothing would equate to a cooler body temperature. As we sat roasting on the beach, I was trying to come up with some new ways to stay cool…like an air conditioned bathing suit. Thanks to Google I found the next best thing. It’s the Cooling Water Bikini:
Photo thanks to Oh Gizmo!
Apparently with the Cooling Water Bikini you can enhance your bust and quench your thirst when you fill it with cool water (or wine?). I’m not exactly sure of the mechanics, but I think you’d just need to be conscious of how much fluid you’re drinking from each cup. The last thing you want is to end up lopsided boobs at the neighborhood pool…awkward!
What are your tips on beating the heat this summer? Leave me a comment before I order one of these!
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Well, after the Horrible Holiday Gift Guide and Bad Mother’s Day Gifts, it seems only fitting that I found some equally awful gifts for the Dads in your life. This, of course, is especially true if you actually received any of the products from either of those lists. So if you’re looking to get back at someone, want to show someone how little you care, or are perhaps looking for gifts to avoid, please enjoy the following:
1. Kleen Stride Shoes. Did some jerk buy you Mop Slippers from the Mother’s Day Gift Guide? Well, here’s the male version of those shoes! Have him do some sweeping of his own and apparently there is even an attachable plow. Purchase on Amazon for under $10!
Kleen Stride Shoes for the douche Dad that bought you "Mop Slippers" for Mother's Day
2. Head Spa. Just like Mom deserved something more than a serial killer “rejuvenating” face mask, Dad should get something better than this too. The head spa is, well, ridiculous. If Dad deserves a massage, you can probably get one at a nice spa for the same cost as this poorly rated item. Plus you’ll save him from looking like a tool, unless that’s you’re goal, and if so, purchase here on Amazon.
Dad looks so relaxed in his new Head Spa.
3. Flair Hair Visors, Bandanas, and accessories. Is Dad suffering from hair loss? Or should I say, are you suffering from your favorite Dad’s hair loss? Do you miss his lush locks? Do you love visors and bandanas? Well, allow me the great pleasure of introducing the Flair Hair Visor and Bandana. Now Dad (and you) can enjoy thick, natural looking hair in the latest styles (as seen in The Jersey Shore). Purchase right from the Flair Hair website.
Looking good, Dad!
Hell yeah, Dad! America!
4. Sex for Dummies book. Okay, buy this book for the father of your children and you’re just a bitch (especially as a Father’s Day gift)…but you got balls if you do! This may, however, make a great gift for your ex.
Ah-ha-ha-ha!
5. Beer Belt. For Dads who love beer and hate getting up to get a refill. This fashionable belt holds bottle OR cans. Bonus!
Stylish and convienent.
6. Chest Hair Toupee. There’s just something about a hairy man that drive (some) women wild. But what if the father of your children is one of those hairless varieties? Should you rub his chest with hair growth creams? Maybe, but that could get expensive. Try the Chest Hair Toupee…can also be applied to backs (if you’re into it).
"Yeah, baby!" said in my best Austin Powers voice.
7. Wiener Roasters. Maybe I’m being presumptuous, but I don’t think Dads are gonna dig this one. Personally, I think it’s funny, but I can’t picture my husband firing up the grill and roasting some wieners on these grill accessories (UPDATE: Thanks to Toni R who found a web address to purchase these http://www.roastmyweenie.com/Roast_Your_Weenie/home.html):
Cooks wieners to perfection
8. Denim Underwear. Thank you(?) Jezebel for bringing this gem to my attention. Maybe instead of the “Sex for Dummies” book you can spice up your love life with a pair of these…and why not? Men buy women lingerie all the time! Or maybe the father of your children likes to go commando in jeans. OR maybe you can’t afford a vasectomy and you’re tired of the man fathering children with you. These denim wonders are sperm killers fo’ sho!
Nothing says sexy like denim boy short underwear. Nothing...
9. A little privacy please! Dads need some privacy too, and just like Mom, this is not what they are talking about. At least I hope it’s not…but if it is, apparently it comes with a matching hoodie- cool!
Top Secret.
10. The Sweat Heart Sweet Shirt. You love the father of your children and you just can’t stand to be apart. Well, snuggle up with your sweetie in the sweat shirt built for two! How romantic! Dad.will.love.it.
For the romantic Dad...or the Siamese Twin Dad...either one.
I hope this list will inspire some fabulous gifts for Dads this year. I know it’s a little early, we still have a few weeks left, but women (unlike men) tend to shop early. I didn’t want any of you to miss out on these unique gifts!
What do you think? What are you getting Dad this year? Leave me a comment and if you enjoyed the post, take a quick second and vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs. Just one click of the button below and it casts an automatic vote for me. Thanks and happy shopping, ladies!
Moms this isn’t a list for you, but for those who are buying you gifts. Forward these to your adult children, husbands, boyfriends, partners or whomever else may be purchasing your Mother’s Day gifts.
So what gifts should you avoid? Well, many women (not this Mama) don’t like household items or appliances, so it’s best to avoid them unless you know for sure the recipient Mom is interested in such gifts. Jewelry and spa days are widely accepted among every mother I know, but keep an eye out for the unusual or unique gifts like the ones below:
1. The Slipper Genie. I love slippers, and I know I just said I don’t mind household appliances (by that I mean Margarita Makers or Blenders for my fruit smoothies Strawberry Daiquiris), but don’t by the Mom’s in your life mops…or in this case any footwear that doubles as a mop. Go buy her some super soft, comfy slippers she can relax and kick back in, not ones to clean your floor.
2. Measuring Tape Belt. Most women would love new accessories. New shoes, scarves, purses, belts, etc. are usually a safe bet. However, most women (especially those who have grown and expelled baby humans from their bodies) prefer not to wear their measurements on their clothing. Any belt that will show the width of a woman’s waist should be avoided. Oh, and if this is a joke, I can almost guarantee she won’t find it funny.
3. The Cuchini. Have you ever tried to give a person hints through gifts? For example, my brother bought my Mom a waffle maker one year because he loves waffles and *hint, hint* he wanted her to cook waffles more. I’ve also bought a coat for my husband, even though he already had one, but it was because the one he was wearing was terrible. Something that’s beyond terrible, even if the Mom in your life needs it is the Cuchini. The Cuchini gets rid of camel toe (see photo below). Even if your favorite Mom wears bottoms that are too small, crotch cutting bathing suits, or tiny hot pants, don’t buy her the cuchini. It’s got to be one of the worst gifts ever.
4. The Wine Holder Necklace. “But Susan, you said jewelry!” This is not what I meant. I love wine and I love jewelry, but spilling wine is a sin in my book, and this is just absurd.
5. Facial Flex. Does your favorite Mom need and/or want plastic surgery? Does she have loose droopy skin? Although I would totally accept Botox as a Mother’s Day gift, you stand a good chance of insulting Mom by giving the gift of a face lift. Also avoid products that claim to workout facial muscles. She’ll still have saggy skin and she’ll look like an idiot.
6. Treadmills, Gym Memberships and Shake Weights. Even if the mother in your life complains that she needs to lose weight or get in shape, please do not buy her any kind of weight loss equipment, gym membership or get in shape quick product like the shake weight. It’s almost always a no, no.
7. Portable Speaker Shoes. Does the Mom in your life love music…and shoes? Well, look what I found over at Ladies Gadgets…no wait, don’t.
8. Privacy. What Mom doesn’t want a little privacy? This, however, is not what your Mom is talking about.
9. Rejuvinique Face Mask. Unless your Mom is a serial killer, perhaps your money would be better spent on buying her a facial.
10. This might belong with the exercise equipment, but it’s so ridiculous and I am personally familiar with this, so I gave it its own number. My Mom owned this workout VHS. She never would do the video around us, and I just hope to God we didn’t give it to her as a gift.
So go get that Mama you love some bling, a day at the spa, a gift certificate to her favorite store, but whatever you do, just be good to your Mothers and don’t get them anything on this list…
What’s the worst Mother’s Day gift you’ve ever given or received? Leave me a comment and take a quick second and vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs with just one click! Click the link below to cast an automatic vote for me:
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