Parenting is the most rewarding job that I’ve ever had…

It’s also the dirtiest.

So when Social Moms and Clorox wanted to know if I was interested in helping create words for the Clorox Ick-tionary (and even be compensated for it), I double check my email and confirmed that Merriam-Webster hadn’t come calling for help expanding the English language yet, so I decided to go for it.

Why not, right?  I’m a mother of a seven and a five year old boy and a three year old girl.  If there’s one thing this Mom knows, it’s messes.

Sometimes I even play games with myself like “Find the smell” or “Name that Gooey Substance.” 

Do you know what a cracker, soaked in juice, half chewed and left at the bottom of a toy box looks like after a few weeks?

I do.

But you know, not all the games I play are as fun or as easy as the others which leads me to my first word for the Clorox Ick-tionary:

Smoodge.

So what is it?  Well in my house it’s a noun, it’s brown, and it scares me every time I see it.

Example of actual Smoodge before Clorox:

I’ve spent the better part of the last six years potty training toddlers since I so cleverly spaced my kids exactly two years apart.  Smoodge is something that immediately sends me scrambling for the Clorox wipes while desperately trying to remember who, if anyone, ate chocolate last and exactly when that occurred.

Even after my kids were potty trained, do you really trust what a three year old is doing in the bathroom all alone with the door closed?

I know I don’t.

What I’ve learned though is that 9 out of 10 times Smoodge is chocolate…however, the one time it’s not, be ready to do some serious cleaning.

Which leads me to my second word for the Clorox Ick-tionary:

Bathogen.

This one, also a noun, came to me right after I got to thinking about Smoodge.  That one time that Smoodge isn’t chocolate, all I see are Bathogens-

Bathogen: (noun) Any pathogen or germ that lives in or originates from the bathroom.

Again, having three little kids, and having spent so many years potty training all of the kids right in a row, has left me with black light eyes.  I can walk into a bathroom and just see where the microscopic germs are colonizing.

The toilet seat.

The toilet’s handle.

The sink.

The light switch.

The door nob.

Lots of bathogens which leaves me thankful for Clorox.

So what words would you add to the Clorox Ick-tionary?  Do you have any games like the ones I play (where no one really wins)?  Leave me a comment and let me know!

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This blog post is part of a paid SocialMoms and Clorox blogging program. The opinions and ideas expressed here are my own. To read more posts on this topic, click here.

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