I know I’m not the most fashionable person. I’ll be the first to admit it. So that’s why, after I said I didn’t “get” the Target Missoni clothing, I went ahead and tried it out for myself…well, sort of.
My point is that I try to follow the don’t knock it until you try it rule. Sometimes perhaps, I’m too quick to judge.
For example, in my 10 Horrible Gifts for the Holidays post, I list several products, like Bacon scented cologne and and Ostrich Pillow for napping at work. I sit here, in the comfort of my home, assuming that a man smelling of bacon grease is a bad thing, or that a person who places their head and hands inside a pillow and naps at work is ridiculous. But have I tried these things myself?
I actually received several emails a couple months ago when I posted on Facebook about an apparently hot ticket and beloved (to some) item, The Forever Lazy. Presumably, those people must work for Forever Lazy, but regardless they had a good point.
I know you were probably joking this morning when you put up that picture to the Forever Lazy. I just wanted you to know that it’s actually a great product. I keep my thermostat lower and still stay warm. Plus, since it’s not like a blanket or a robe, it’s so easy to move around. I’ve even worn mine to a college football game.
Just thought you should know.
Clearly Mary T either works for Forever Lazy or maybe she’s married to the CEO.
But it did get me thinking though…
So I ordered my own Forever Lazy, wore it around, and had some pretty surprising results (and this is not a Sponsored post):
Baking was a breeze in my Forever Lazy!
Outdoor Christmas decorating could be a real pain in cold weather, but it’s no problem with the Forever Lazy!
You know me and my I.B.S., but it’s not a worry with an easy rear access!
Even if the weather’s cold, I can’t be too lazy! The dog still needs walked, and now I can stay warm too!
And of course, the Forever Lazy is perfect for just laying around!
And the results? Okay, so they weren’t so surprising, it is as ridiculous as it looks on TV. I was warm though, and I’m kicking myself for not ordering pink.
What are your favorite As Seen on TV products? Are you a Forever Lazy fan? Leave me a comment!
Anyway, onto the main event. If you’re looking to give the best-worst gift this year, want a gag gift that will surpass all others, I hope that you’ll consider the following:
1. The Ostrich Pillow. Have you ever had one of those days at work where you just wanted to stick your head, and possibly hands, into a sack and take a nap? Well, have I got the product for you! The Ostrich Pillow provides a cozy, dark, cushioney cave for your head and hands that fits right on your desk! It’s not conspicuous and provides the perfect portable retreat for that much needed mid-day siesta. Just don’t stay in there too long, I’m not completely certain it’s suitable for breathing.
2.Canned Unicorn Meat. Forget Spam! Get some canned meat with some Sparkle! For just 12.99 you can get 14oz of canned unicorn meat! That’s right this magical canned meat has crunchy horn bits in every bite! Made up of ground up wishes, dreams, smiles, magic and more, you’ll taste the enchantment in every bite. Perfect to dip or spread on sandwiches. You’ll be shitting sparkles and farting pink bubbles with this glittery meat. Seriously, I have no idea if this is edible, but I’m telling my kids it’s what I did to the Unicorn that shit on my dining room carpet in August.
3. Jersey Shore Christmas Tree Ornaments. Nothing puts me in the holiday spirit quite like The Jersey Shore. The poofy hair, spray tans, slutty clothes, and FIST PUMPS! Now, that’s what I’m talking about. HSN has this fabulous Jersey Shore 3-piece Ornament Set featuring The Situation, Snooki and DJ Pauly D ready to hang on your tree. Perfect, they say, for fans of the show, the soulless, and perfect for the person who has everything. All for just 24.95!
4. The Daddle.Traditional rocking horses are so boring! Thank goodness there’s the Daddle! That’s right, Dads (or Moms), get down on all fours and have some real fun with your kids. This saddle is soft, washable and a great way to interact with kids ages 2-6. All for just $55!
5. Clip on LED Lights for Glasses. Do you know someone who likes to work in the dark, has poor vision, and wouldn’t dare wear something as ridiculous as a head lamp? Well, why not try out the stylish and functional LED clip on Lights for Glasses! Super bright LED lights will really brighten someone’s holiday!
6. Essential Travel Reserve a Spot in Heaven Kit. Remember all the questions I had about The Rapture? What to wear? What to bring? Well, had I known for the low price of just $14.79 that I could reserve a spot in heaven, I wouldn’t have stressed at all. With your purchase you’ll receive an official Reserve-a-Spot-in-Heaven reservation certificate, an official Reserve-a-Spot-in-Heaven identification card, their informational guide to help you navigate your way (no GPS required here), and the best part about this product…it comes with a 100% money back guarantee if your reservation is not accepted! source.
7. Limited Edition Talking Honey Badger Dolls. Okay, I’m going to be honest, I love honey badger. I wish I could be more like honey badger, but I bet there are lots of people who wouldn’t appreciate such a terrible gift. Is that Lucy Lawless enjoying wine with hers? I have no idea where to buy a Limited Edition Talking Honey Badger Doll, but if it’s real somebody better buy me one!
8. Bacon Cologne. Now I love bacon as much as the next guy, probably more actually, but is this taking it too far? Well, I’ll leave that up to you. For just $36 you can smell like bacon grease all day.
9. Chum Buddy. Know someone who is terrified of sharks? Well, next to immersion therapy and getting them in a shark cage in the ocean, this is the best thing. The Chum Buddy sleeping bag/body pillow, available at Sears for the low, low price of $608 at the time of this post, can accommodate up to a five foot victim, I mean, sleeping person. Perfect also for scaring the hell out of young children.
10. The Japanese Snuggie. Giving the Chum Buddy a run for it’s money is the Japanese Snuggie. Forget the standard Snuggie…don’t even mention the newer Forever Lazy products, this bad boy takes the cake. The problem with those other products is that your arms get cold. This wearable sleeping bag will keep you warm and cozy to -20 degrees. Okay, I’m not sure if that last part is true, but this guy sure looks snug! Source.
So I had a conversation with a friend about a baby shower we’re attending. Both of us being slackers, we of course waited to buy gifts and now we have three choices left on the registry: a $600.00 Glider for the nursery or buy her socks and baby soap and look like douche bags. So we decided to put together a huge gift basket from the two of us with a variety of gifts. I said that since our super pregnant friend has a sense of humor we should by her the Go the F@ck to Sleep book for the basket too. My co-contributor on the basket, who wants the gift to be super fancy (cause we’re so fancy), says no on the book. Which is fine….I’ll give it separately. A total must have for any parent, delirious from lack of sleep, sanity hanging by a thread, needing a good laugh to keep them hanging on another night…
Do you love the movie, Alien? Did you have a c-section you want to relive everyday? Do you want to use your baby to scare strangers? Well, then this is the product for you! For just $80 on amazon, you can do all this and more!
2. Baby Mop
Now I know it may be tempting to get the whole family involved in the cleaning, especially if Mom owns the fancy mop slippers I featured and Dad is sporting the push broom shoes I also listed, but the baby mop is going to have to be where I draw the line. Again, it may seem tempting, but I’m going on the record and saying the Baby Mop is a bad idea.
3. The Baby Pod
Are you looking for the perfect gift to give the expectant parents who can’t stop worrying about nuclear war/chemical attacks? What about the Baby Pod? It provides clean air, an automatic diaper for waste and a rocking motion to sooth the podded baby. No, really it does. And although it has a super padded protection and could get bounced around and still keep baby safe, don’t even try to check this at the airport. Seriously. Just don’t but this period.
4. Nosefrida Suction Device
I think that there are essential medical items that are great gifts for babies and new parents. Humidifiers, thermometers, etc. A bulb aspirator is something I have used countless times with all three kids when they were little, and the standard aspirator can provide gentle suction without you having to suck the snot out with your mouth as with the Nosefrieda. Apparently there is a filter that prevents the snot from reaching the parent’s mouth, but regardless this is just awful. And unnecessary. And awful unnecessary.
5. The Babykeeper
The Babykeeper. Ah, I don’t trust that plastic hook enough to dangle my kid over a dirty bathroom floor. I’ve also seen some nasty stuff on stall walls that would never allow me to hang my child on them. This just seems dangerous and dirty. Plus my kids would never just hang there, they’d be trying to climb the wall, swinging back and forth. This just seems like a bad idea.
I personally have never been a fan of kids on a leash, if it works for you that’s wonderful. However, please have the decency to use one where you at least hold the leash in your hand and not the O’Pair Leash System that resembles some sort of twisted umbilical cord. Please.
7. Baby Bangs
Baby Bangs, the perfect gift for the baby girl who has everything…except hair.
I saw it on Tosh.0 first, and love him wearing one. For a baby, not so much. This just terrifies me.
Agree? Disagree? Leave me a comment! I’d love to hear from you! While you’re here, click the banner below to cast an automatic vote for me. There’s a direct correlation between my number of votes and my self esteem. Click it. Please.