I have a few things I’d love to post, but my brain is not functioning properly due to sleep deprivation. Hopefully I’ll be able to share some of them soon. Right now I’ve got 2.5 sick kids and I’m still fighting a funk myself, so I’ll do a quick list of things that are only okay to say and do since I’m a Mom. Just some basic observations if you will. In other situations, if you saw or heard someone saying/doing these things, without small children, it might be a bit socially awkward (to say the least):
1. Saying, “Please get your finger out of his/her nose!”
2. Saying, “Please get your finger out of my nose!”
3. Catching someone’s vomit in your hands.
4. Sniffing someone’s ass to see if they pooped
5. Trying to explain to a person that burping and farting loudly in public isn’t okay just because you say “excuse me” afterward
6. Instructing someone to “Call me when you’re done pooping, so I can help you wipe.”
7. Advising someone “stop walking around holding your crotch and just go to the bathroom already!”
8. Questioning “What are you eating now?” and then instructing “spit it in my hand now!” then sticking your fingers in someone’s mouth to remove said foreign object.
9. Asking someone if they feel okay and what “kind” of poop they just had.
10. Having to repeat any basic question 58 times in order to get a response.
Reading over this there’s a lot of poop. Even though I think it comes with the territory, I’ll generally apologize. I think it’s cause my week has literally been shitty too. I’m still bitter about picking up that “raisin.” Either way, you can’t get away with saying or doing this list with adults….well, most adults.
What am I missing? Leave me a comment! And while you’re here, give me an automatic vote on Top Mommy Blogs by clicking below: