Maybe it’s because black and white are my favorite color combinations. Perhaps it’s got something to do with spending 13 years in Catholic school and my affinity for the nuns who taught me. Maybe it’s that penguins are my daughter’s favorite animal, but really I never knew that I had so much in common with these lovable flightless birds until I flipped through the humorous, and totally relatable new book written by best selling author James Patterson and his son Jack, Penguins of America.
Jack’s love of penguins was the original inspiration for the book, and when he was 5 years old, he told his father he should write a book about penguins. Twelve years later, we have PENGUINS OF AMERICA, a collaborative creation between father and son.
Penguins – our lovable, cute, flightless friends who are constantly dressed for a formal occasion – have always fascinated humans. As we shuffle through life one day at a time, it’s easy to take things far too seriously, but when we see penguins taking a walk in our shoes it’s impossible not to recognize how silly we can actually be. Featuring humorous illustrations with captions that show penguins in the day-to-day situations that we’ve all experienced – from a relaxing day at the beach to a stressful morning commute – PENGUINS OF AMERICA is a hilarious and charming send-up of daily life.
Personally, my favorite illustration was this poor gal, just trying to enjoy a day of beauty, only to be shocked by an implied suggestion that she should wax her, well, I’ll leave that to your imagination.
I, like this penguin and many other women, find that I’m doing more and more all in the name of beauty.
In fact, as I’ve gotten older I’ve found that I’m no longer trying to highlight my assets or even maintain them; no, I’m on an all out mission not to lose what I’ve got left. If James and Jack had consulted me before publishing, I would have tossed out these other beauty regimen ideas for people – or penguins:
- I used to color my hair for fun. Now I color it to keep from having “tinsel hair” as my daughter calls it.
- I started plucking when I was a teenager because my caterpillar eyebrows were forming one large mutant brow that was keeping me chaste and cramping my style. At 38 I’m still plucking to keep my brows two separate entities, but now I’m forced to pencil in my patchy, thinned brows. No one ever told me I could suffer hair loss at this age…on my face.
- So the loss of facial hair is brows only. My Tom Selleck style lady ‘stache is fuller and thicker than ever if I don’t keep up on the waxing. I tried bleaching once, but then I just had a yellow mustache.
- While we’re talking facial hair, let’s not forget the chin hairs. They do better with tweezers, and I even keep a pair in my car because what else am I going to do in the carpool line while I wait to pick up the kids?
- Okay, let’s forget facial hair for a moment…but whatever you do, don’t forget to shave those toes, Frodo Baggins, especially now that we’re in sandal season!
- From amazonian clay to volcanic ash, I’ve tried pasting my face with a variety of unusual organic materials looking (absolutely ridiculous) for tighter, brighter skin.
- If I told you I never explored topical creams, lasers or even tattooing my stretchmarks into something more attractive, well then I’d be a lying liar.
- Have you ever scrubbed and scrubbed your face thinking that you had mascara that rubbed off, only to realize that it was just your dark under eye circles? Yeah, me neither. *googles eye creams to for racoon eyes*
- I used to wonder what I’d have lifted if I decided to have cosmetic surgery; now I wonder what I wouldn’t have lifted.
- One word: SPANX.
All in the name of beauty!
Have any crazy cosmetic routines you’d add to the list? Could you use a $100 Gift Card to Sephora to keep looking your best – or as I try to do, not your worst? Want to have a laugh and lighten up your day with James and Jack Patterson’s book? You’re in luck! Thanks to Little, Brown & Co. you can win a copy of the book along with a $100 Sephora Gift Card! (US only please and read general giveaway rules here)
This was a sponsored post where I received product or compensation in exchange for a post. For questions, comments or concerns, please email me at DomesticDiva@DomesticConsultants.com