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No Domestic Diva

Originals

Funny Laundry Poem

Laundry Haiku The Endless Cycles You Define Futility Wash Dry Fold Again

Im 'I carry tweezers in my car in case of chin hairs' years old

Whoever said, "If you believe in yourself, anything is possible," has obviously never tried to suck in back fat @nodomesticdiva

death and taxes meme 2

I wish wine went on clearance like candy does after a holiday...every Monday would be awesome

So I didn't have a bikini body in time for summer but at least I have a rockin poncho body just in time for fall

 funny ecards by DivineSecretsofaDomesticDiva long & lean

cute retro woman in comics style vector illustration

Just once I wish that when I said I outgrew my pants, it meant that I got taller. I'd even settle for it meaning my pants and I are in different places emotionally...

yoga farts

Kids are creepy

I've had 3 kids, but I could still rock a topless spread in a magazine...never mind it would have to be National Geographic @NoDomesticDiva

chore chart

When life seems bleak and you're full of despair, before you lose hope make sure you're not drinking decaf.

My current style could best be described as constant anxiety over my impending ambush makeover.

Youtube tutorials be like

purse bacon

Current Summer fitness level Every time I stand up from my pool chair chocolate chips and granola fall out of my tankini @NoDomesticDiva

When I say I've outgrown my pants, I wish it meant that I've gotten taller. I'd also settle for it meaning my pants & I are in different places emotionally @NoDomesticDiva

Since I treat my Body Like a Temple, I make a Daily sacrifice - usually it's fries @NoDomesticDiva

birthday lies

Where's my Rosie @NoDomesticDiva

People at the gym be like, "Oh, I'm so into fitness; I love push ups!" And I'm over here like, "Oh, I love fitness & push ups too... Fittin' this whole push up pop in my mouth!"

You never know how fast you can go or how far you can run until the ice cream truck doesn't see you and then you manage to hit new land records for speed & distance in order to catch up - @noDomesticDiva

If parenthood was one of those choose your own adventure books, every ending would likely result in a mess, laundry or losing lots of money

Fog and clouds on a colorful rainbow blue to orange gradient. Image displays a pleasing paper grain and texture at 100%.

I was going to start couch to 5k, but my ipad is all the way upstairs

back fat

jeans from the dryer

cereal for dinner

April Showers bring...late onset seasonal affective disorder @NoDomesticDiva DivineSecretsofaDomesticDiva.com

Back to school funny ecard

Cursive

flipping off a pile of laundry doesn't get it done any faster, but it sure makes me feel a hell of a lot better

I used to think I was an unwilling participant in a study on sleep deprivation...then I remembered I'm a Mom

When Moms get sick

7 Minutes in Heaven - Mom Version

poncho ready

Taking off your bra at the end of a long day = awesome. Taking off a sports bra after a long day = FREEEEEEEDDOOOOOOMMMMMM!

that awkward moment you kept trying to wash your dark under-eye circles thinking it was mascara

potty training survivor funny potty training ecard

6f67569f7ce2615ebef7551073f8440a

twerking-ecard

My yoga pants have never been to yoga

Reasons I Love Cereal for Dinner

grapes card

feeling frisky

rage against the hairbrush

Feed the beast |carb life|

Friday night plans

How my kids sound during the day vs how my kids sound when they sneak around at night

I wasn't bikini ready this summer but I'm poncho ready this Fall

Parenting Pro Tip on Consitpiation @NoDomesticDiva

my-kids-and-i-have-come-to-a-mutual-agreement-theyll-try-harder-to-keep-their-rooms-cleaner-and-ill-try-not-to-pluck-my-chin-hairs-while-in-the-carpool-line-at-school-@NoDomesticDiva

I Knew So Much Before I Became a Parent @NoDomesticDiva

Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in some weird parental version of the game CLUE.It was the 7yr old, in the dining room, using the curtains as a napkin! @NoDomesticDiva

cooking skillz

It's summer In the Mid-Atlantic - hazy, hot, humid, and I'm sporting my summer do - or as it's come to be known El Derecho de Cabello. #summerhairstyles #summerhairtrends #hazyhothumidhumor

650 x444 I really wish I wasn't I can't drink caffeine this late in the day years old because I could really use a boost to get me through until bedtime

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-images-comic-style-confused-housewife-illustration-pop-art-book-stereotypical-who-looks-very-image33067424

my 7 minutes in heaven

Happy Boss's Day (for Moms)! #funny

e01e3cd8a5543cd86b00680d19bdf18c

Find that smell!

jump into cookies girl scouts

all my children

mornings-are-so-stupid-nodomesticdiva

mornings-are-fucking-stupid

evil-kermit-meme-see-what-webmd-thinks-it-is-@nodomesticdiva

me-attempting-to-be-a-morning-person-nodomesticdiva

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If this was high school, these posts would be at the cool kid’s table. popular posts:

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-20 Slogan Parodies for Moms
-How to give your guests a phallic welcome

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Oh, hi there!

Somewhere between love and madness lies...Motherhood.
I'm a 30 something Mom to three small children, and I'm the first to admit that it's not all Hallmark Moments. Celebrating all that being a stay at home, sleep deprived, non-exercising, carb-eating, wine-loving, married, 30-something has to offer. Looking at the lighter side of life and rocking what I've got left.

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