It’s seems hard to believe, but here we are at the 5th Annual Bad Holiday Gift Guide!
1. Leopard Jean Sandal Boots – On each of my Bad Gift Guides, I always like to include a fashionable present. On past lists you can find treasures like meat panties, white denim bikini jeans, picnic pants and more. This time I’m featuring something that combines jeans and footwear – Leopard Jean Sandal Boots! These amazing shoes mix so many of my favorite things: animal print, boots, sandals, zippers and they’re even vegan (in case you have someone on your gift list who likes to chew footwear, but only if they aren’t made from animal products).
2. Women’s Booty Pop Enhancing Panties
– Do you know someone with a flat ass that could use a boost? Well have I got the gift for you! With the Booty Pop Butt Enhancing Panties your flat-reared recipient will go from drab to fab adding junk to their trunk in mere seconds! Give a bootylicious gift this season!
3. Slide Rider – How fun does this look? Turn your stairs into a slide with this innovative invention! No more sliding down the steps on cardboard boxes or taking turns tumbling down the stairs in a laundry basket! I mean, seriously, what could go wrong?!
4. Beer Koozie Mittens
– Warm the hands and hearts of the beer lovers on your list with the Beer Koozie Mittens! These winter essentials keep the chill in the beer, not in your hands. Plus, it’s pretty damn fashionable.
5.Here for the Beer Hoodie Sweatshirt with Beer Pouch
– This gift is more like an upgrade from one of last year’s most popular, yet sort of plain, gifts. If you were one of the people who bought the Beer Hoodie Sweatshirt with Beer Pouch
last year for yourself – or the beer lover on your list – you might also enjoy this other handy apparel made with beer drinkers in mind. In case the insulated built-in koozie wasn’t enough of a hint, tithis hoodie let’s people know in print exactly what you’re here for…the beer.
6. Big Hairy Ball – For just under $1200 you can buy what looks like one of the Abominable Snowman’s balls! This giant beanbag is actually made from sheepskin – not a mammoth testicle – so relax, unwind, and enjoy yourself on what is sure to match any decor!
7. Sexy Pullover Cheeseburger Sweatshirt – Do you know someone who love cheeseburgers – like a whole lot? This realistic – and some say sexy -sweatshirt is the perfect gift! They say you are what you eat, so why not let people know it! Go ahead and biggie size your gift with a side of fancy with the Sexy French Fries Sweatshirt
.
8. Soundproof Underwear 
as seen in The Klutz Book of Inventions (submitted by Freda Gross) – When it comes to farts, silent ones often lead to deadly smells, but with these stylish, yet functional, underwear the sounds and smells will be concealed! So if you bought the Subtle Butt Odor Absorbing Pads from my Father’s Day Gift Guide, but are still tired of hearing your favorite fella rip ’em, try the underwear that promises what happens down there, stays down there!
9. Wine2Go – The Foldable Wine Bottle – For those who were skeptical of the wine bra, here’s a discreet way to carry a full bottle of wine in an easy to fold flask. This reusable BPA free bottle can go with you anywhere you want to bring up to a bottle of your favorite wine; perfect for picnics, the beach, PTA meetings, concerts and more!
10. Baking Bad: A Parody in a Cookbook
– For the Breaking Bad fans on your gift list: “What do you do when the greatest TV show ever has come to an end and you no longer have ground-breaking, meth-related drama to get you through the long winter nights? Answer: you create a cookbook full of baked delights, each made in loving reference to the story of our favorite chemistry teacher-turned drug-baron. Baking Bad is a recipe book full of real, edible recipes created in homage to the TV series that we STILL can’t stop talking about.”
11. Santa Claus Spandex Body Suit
– No comment other than, you know I want one.
Still need more gift suggestions? Check out the hundred of other bad gifts from lots of lists here on my Bad Gift Guides page. And for anyone still shopping for me, don’t miss the bad gifts I want for myself this year!
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