UPDATED POST/POEM – Read The Troll from the Pole here
It’s been weeks and still no sign of Fred, our Elf on the Shelf. At this point, he’s still Missing and presumed dead (you can read about that here).
Personally found the Elf rather creepy. I always felt like he was silently judging me when I sat around drinking wine from my holiday mugs, but I knew I couldn’t replace him with just any inanimate Christmas spy.
And I certainly wasn’t buying another elf.
No, these kids needed something that would really get their attention.
I’d like to introduce you to our new and more effective holiday tradition…
Not every child, has a little Elf
at holiday time that sits on their shelf.
Sometimes an Elf is just way too much fun
and Santa’s little helper can’t get the job done.
So for kids who are more naughty than they are nice,
better pay close attention and start thinking twice.
Santa might have one more trick up his sleeve,
and it starts with your Elf having to leave.
Now, Santa isn’t giving up his eyes on the ground.
No, there’s already a replacement that he’s found.
He’s not quite as cuddly and may look a bit scary,
but that’s just the outside, deep down he’s quite merry.
So who is the new guy that Santa has found?
Well, to tell you the truth, he’s from a hole in the ground.
The Troll in the Hole, is this fella’s name,
and trust me when I tell you, Christmas is his game.
He’s tall and he’s green with teeth that look funny,
with big ears for listening that are bigger than a bunny’s.
And just like the Elf, you won’t hear him talking,
and when you’re asleep, around he’ll go walking.
He uses magic to find his invisible hole,
and gives Santa your report up at the North Pole.
So what else exactly does a Christmas Troll do?
Well, for starters he’s keeping a closer eye on you.
Your Elf may have moved just once while you were sleeping,
but if the Troll thinks you’re naughty, he may come a creeping.
If he hears some shenanigans, he’ll stomp and make noise,
and trolls have been known to hide naughty kid’s toys.
So if you leave out your stuff or color in a book,
you can bet that your Troll will get a good look.
You better clean up that mess, and eat all your veggies
and whatever you do, don’t give your brother any wedgies.
Grumpy Trolls like to tie up all your shoe laces,
and I’ve even heard they’ll fart in sleeping kid’s faces.
Of course if you’re good, you won’t need to worry,
but if you’re acting naughty, you’d better hurry.
Christmas will be here before you know,
so you don’t want to wait for your good behavior to show.
And make no mistake what your Troll will do,
every night he’s telling Santa all about you.
So give him a name, and give him a hug,
you can even try to bribe him with a candy-filled mug.
But if on Christmas you want toys that are new
being good every day is what you must do.
The Troll’s job is to help you be good after all,
so remember he’s watching, every deed big and small.
Listen to your parents and be kind to your friends,
and your Troll will make sure your Christmas is merry in the end!
© 2012 Susan McLean / Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva
UPDATED POST/POEM – Read The Troll from the Pole here
Do you have any non-traditional holiday traditions for kids? Do you think the Troll in the Hole will work on mine? Leave me a comment and let me know what you think!
Comments
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This is EXCELLENT. I found the Elf a little judgey myself!
I love it!!! Can you give me one next time I see ya?!?!
Lauren Kassner
I want one! Genius, Susan, genius.
The Elf was too stalker for me… couldn’t bring myself to bring one into the house. This, on the other hand, is pure genius.
I love it! That Elf creeps me out and I will never buy that night stalker for my kids. But this…I’d buy in a heartbeat!
This. Is. Genius. My 4yo has suddenly decided to stop listening to us. Maybe I should get her one of these trolls.
You kill me, Susan!
Love it.
If you are making the Troll in a hole I need one!
I love this! So awesome we want one.
Where did you get him? I hate elfonashelf but would delight in having a troll with boots!
Omg I NEED this for both of my kids!!
Love it! I’m not a “elf on the shelf” type of gal either!
This would be wonderful for my kids. I think much better than the creepy elf..
I’m just so in love with the Troll in a Hole. Must. Have. Troll.
Cute poem too : )
He makes me happy in the tinsel!
I NEED this!! Lol!
I’ve never been a fan of the elves. I like this Troll. I’d love to tromp, tromp, tromp across a bridge and lure one home for my kids (I’m assuming that’s where the hole is, under the bridge where the Billy Goats Gruff try to go over, right?).
Will he actually be doing tricks on the kids? That could be too much fun.
Oh my goodness. I have always fancied myself pretty good at writing funny rhyming poems but this takes the cake.
Farting in sleeping kids’ faces……almost spit my coffee out on that one! Oh Heaven’s no, your kids’ won’t have issues. Hahaha!
Oh. Em. GEE! I NEEEEEED ONE! My boys are being monstrous little meth-monkeys lately and I’d just as soon shove them down the stairs as tuck them in some nights. (I’m sure someone from CPS is reading and ready to knock on my door now.) But seriously, this is GENIUS.
I TOLD those boys that Santa is watching. And man, if a troll showed up, they would freak the FRICK OUT!
This is so awesome! I need one too, although my kids are getting a bit old to be scared by farting tolls. Seriously, thanks for the laughs.
Dying! You have just started a whole new movement here. Prepare yourself for a season of trolls!
I want one! Can’t get into the mommy wars that Elf on a Shelf created. ALso need a Prev on the Curb for those slutty teen girls.
PERFECT!!! I’ll take one!
LOVE this idea! Where can I find that troll??
Love it!!
Where the frack do I get one!
Where can you get this? My kids are bein plumb ROTTEN and I need a rotten troll to check in on em
Did you make this or did you find him somewhere? He’s a must have!
haha, brilliant! He kind of reminds me of the Krampus… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krampus
ha! I was planning to buy an Elf on the Shelf this year, but this is SO much better!
I NEED a troll!
Love it! I think it will work wonders.
Hahahaha! So funny, I love it! I don’t get what everybody’s problem is with the Elf though. How is an elf any more judgemental than the troll would be?
Absolutely BRILLIANT. I applaud your genius. … Must make/find a Christmas Troll in the Hole.
Please please please tell me you are in the process of stocking these to sell!!!!!
Where Can I buy one????
This is great. Our neighbor stores his RV for winter across the street. So we tell the kids one of Santa’s elves moved in to watch them. They are still young enough to believe it!!
Instead of getting a lump of coal in your stocking if you are bad, the kid gets a lumpy troll! LOL. Perhaps some holiday troll T-shirts and mugs are in order! (And your poem should be a children’s book, let’s talk!)
I’m definitely making one of those little guys. That’s so cute. Even my older kids will get a kick out of the poem
I say, “whatever you need to do…!!!” My son is only 19 months so I’m sure I won’t be needing the elf for a while. I’ll have to let you know if and when I try it! lol!
Oh my word, That, Was, Awesome. My kids were too old when the whole Elf on the Shelf debacle began, but I think even my teen and tween could get behind the Troll in the Hole. You do have plans to make this into a book, right? It would become a Christmas tradition in our house. Ellen
Please let me know where I can get a troll in the hole!!! Thats going to be the best tradition to start – ever!!!
Love the troll in the hole. Great for older kids who may not believe in Santa but could be a fun way to keep the Christmas spirit alive (and the threat of a troll in your stocking). Not an elf on the shelf kind of girl either ;P
You made my night! I got my sister’s family an elf on the shelf last year, and it was a big success with 3 out of the 4 kids. The youngest and the the “terror” of the family was afraid of “Jason Jingles” and was even trying to peddle him off to each of her neighbors. Jason was constantly “missing” each day. Grace was the culprit and finally left him be as she realized he was reporting back to Santa. This year he is back, but up very high. Grace is actually calmer, but still offering him to anyone who enters the house. i love our troll in the hole idea. So brilliant!
where can u buy this
I like this a lot better than the elf on the shelf. LOVE the poem!
I would love to know if this can be purchased? It’s awesome.
Where can I get one of these? My elf left 3 days ago due to naughty children!
Please let us know it this is for sale. I love this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is adorable and the poem that goes along with it is hilarious! If you didn’t purchase this troll someplace, then you should definately start producing them. This is such a great idea!!!!!!
I don’t have kids, but this troll is CUTE!!!! I want one!!!
Yeah! I want one…. We arent the traditional family and I just didnt care for the elf. Our X-mas tree has mostly Halloween and Nightmare Before X-mas stuff… This is so cute and would fit in with our tree! LOVE IT!
i love this troll in the hole, and yes, this would definitely be more effective around here than a stinkin’ elf. we have family members that look like this troll that scare the hell out of my kids. sounds alot like the old mexican “cucuy”. love it.
I WANT ONE. What the heck? Too cute not to market.