Hallmark #BirthdayFAIL

You know how I’ve been hoping to break into advertising?

I think this could be my big break (and I mean it this time – not like when I thought the good people of Purell and Clorox would come and offer me a job).

No, this time I think the right brand has finally taken notice. Maybe it was my recent 20 Slogan Parodies for Moms, or because I’ve often said that I started blogging to show other frizzy, frazzled mothers that parenthood isn’t all Hallmark Moments…

Yes, that’s right! Hallmark!

Well, truth be told, they aren’t looking for me to join their ad team (yet), but they somehow thought that I might have some birthday fails that I could share.

Me, really? #BirthdayFails?

Obviously, I do.

I didn’t even have to look far either.

Take my own birthday, which over the last ten years has slowly gone more and more unnoticed.

Why you ask?

Well, for starters, before I even had kids, I ended up on a gluten free diet for health reasons – and way back then it wasn’t a diet trend. Ten years ago, it was also really hard to find good gluten free desserts, and sadly this includes birthday cakes.

Once, my Mom made me a chocolate gluten free cake, and she apologized before we even cut it. She tasted the batter which she likened to a Chocolate Slim Fast/Dirt combo. Cooked, and even with the icing, it didn’t taste too far off from her batter taste test.

So over the years, I grew accustomed to life without birthday cake.

*Cue sad trombones*

My cakeless birthdays would come and go, until last year when Betty Crocker came out with a delicious gluten free variety (let’s be real, I’ve been waiting for a boxed version). But the problem was, at this point, I had tried to make other people not worry that I had no cake on my birthday for so many years, that it wasn’t even something people considered anymore.

So I was left to make my own cake for my 35th birthday.

At least I was able to choose my own candles too!

I’m clearly getting to the point where I like to pretend that I’m not actually aging, this was the 7th year in a row that I’ve celebrated the anniversary of my 29th birthday.

It’s getting harder and harder to pretend like I’m younger than I am, but I think I still managed to pull it off this year…

My husband first suspected that I was testing him when I asked for SPANX as one of my gifts this year. He thought it was going to be a case of entrapment. Trust me when I tell you, that if he had known this is how I was going to use them, he’d never have bought them despite me being so insistent.

Hallmark had some really funny examples of #BirthdayFAIL’s on their Facebook Page too. We all know now it’s so easy to post a message on a friend or family member’s Facebook Wall, or send a quick text, but maybe this is why it’s better to play it safe and just send a Hallmark Card?

And then there’s the people in our lives, we all have ‘em, who are probably going to think you forgot all about them without a Hallmark Card:

So what about you? Do you have any #BirthdayFAILS? Leave me a comment and let me know if you botched someone’s cake, blew a birthday surprise, or just flat out forgot about a birthday!